Expect DH to Facebook defriend OW after affair ended?

[st273447]

So the affair has ended and DH committed to our relationship, but my DH is still FB friends with OW?

Should I have to ask to defriend or am I being unreasonable?

I know I shouldn't need to ask, but just wondered whether anyone would think it's acceptable.

I won't ask but like many above, have made the assumption that the commitment to our relationship isn't to be believed.

Sweetheart has he given free access to all methods of communication so that you can reassure self that all is as it seems at any time?

One of the first things the OW would most likely do if he'd actually ended it was take him off her friends list on FB. That she hasn't yet speaks volumes.... I'd be willing to bet it's not over.

Not even slightly acceptable!!!

Gobsmacked that he hasn't just done this already. I cannot believe he is putting you in the position of having to ask.

Well, if he was committed to your relationship, you should not even have to ask.

Are you usually this much of a doormat?
Ask him. On FB with her tagged wtf they are still contacts. When he has already dumped her arse.

No contact is no contact. Has he actually agreed to this?

If it was over and she has any kind of dignity left she would have blocked him already herself.
Unless he just doesn't really use FB then he should have definitely deleted her. It may not have crossed his mind.
Mention it to him and judge his reaction to your asking.
But this does sound a symptom of you not being 100% he is committed or you wouldn't ask. And, sorry to say, there is no law against multiple profiles...

No, don't ask him

Tell him it's a condition of you even considering that he stands a chance at putting things right. And that the fact he hasn't done it without you prompting him is already a huge black mark against him.

Yy

OP

Find the strength to make demands on his behaviour. He betrayed you and you get to decide whether you get over that.

You need to tell him to do it. Nothing to do with asking. He doesnt need tl be friends with her on facebook, or have any way of contacting her, I think it should be a condition of your making things work.

You should defriend and block your DH permanently, sounds like it will save you a lot if heartache in the future.

Nah, I wouldn't be demeaning myself by contacting the OW on FB. Too Jeremy Kyle.

No definitely do not contact the OW. SHE is not the problem, HE is.

chip has the best plan

I would ask him why he is still FB friends with her!
Ask him if he thinks that is appropriate.

You shouldnt have to ask him to do it! He should have already done it!

Nonononono. It is NOT the ow responsibility to make sure op's dh doesn't contact her again.
Don't demean yourself by contacting her. It's his responsibility to be faithful in your relationship and to do everything in his power to build the trust. IMO he should have already defrended and blocked, however I would give him the chance to now by telling him that's why he has to do. He needs to rebuild the relationship, he's te one that cheated.

Chips plan sounds good! But failing that, he needs to defrended her at the very least.

Absolutely taking the piss. What on earth is he thinking?! They shouldn't be 'friends' of any sort when he cheated on you with her. The cheeky sod.

My bet is that OW does not know it is over.....

WTF? I'm shocked that you've any doubt about it.
Of course YADNBU.
He should have done it immediately. Does he have any brain at all other than what's in his fucking trousers??
You shouldn't have to ask him to defriend THE person he cheated with. He should be trying to move mountains to rebuild your trust - it sadly doesn't look like he is. Sorry op.