Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Smoking

268 replies

weebarra · 04/06/2014 08:46

I'm 36 and have been being treated for breast cancer for the past 9 months. I was diagnosed when DC3 was 8 weeks.
I've had 6 months of chemo, a bilateral mastectomy and now I'm doing the radiotherapy bit. AIBU not to want to walk through clouds of smoke at the entrance to the oncology centre?
I get that people are addicted. I've smoked myself and both parents do. It's just that I feel really pissed off when I see both staff and patients puffing away.
I was going to get cancer anyway - I have the BRCA2 gene, but these people don't have to get it. I just want to shake them.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 04/06/2014 08:55

I went through the same experience at the Marsden and it puzzled me why they did it.

Just take a deep breath and hold it. You worry about you, not them.

Love and Flowers from one who survived cancer to one who is going to .

BabyMonkeyBrains · 04/06/2014 08:56

it depends are you angry because you are being exposed to second hand smoke/ angry at where they are smoking? or are you angry that they are smoking at all thus risking their own health?

I think anyone smoking at the entrance to any hopsital department is inconsiderate and smoking outside of oncology is just thoughtless.

sourdrawers · 04/06/2014 09:09

You most certainly are not BU... I believe there is a law in California which forbids smoking, 20 feet (or something like that), from the entrance to public buildings. I believe we should have that law too. I've always had to avoid pubs and restaurants with no smoke-free areas as I just can't stand it. But I don't think I've ever breathed in as much smoke walking along the pavement or going into a building as now since the smoking ban. Especially when smokers all huddle under a doorway entrance to a building. It's f*ing foul and it leaves you with the filthy, acrid stink of tobacco on your clothes and in your hair for the rest of the day. Don't get me wrong I'm glad the ban exists but smokers should be given a little screened off area in a car park or somewhere away to puff away, away from everybody else....

Very best wishes to you OP.

Onesleeptillwembley · 04/06/2014 09:13

No you're not. It's filthy, skanky, selfish and stupid.
Have you complained? I would, every time I went there.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 04/06/2014 09:15

Lots of people do things that increase their risk of cancer- eat too much, smoke, drink, take drugs. It's human nature I'm afraid. Let them live their lives as they wish and don't be so judgmental. Good luck with your treatment.

Original poster
weebarra · 04/06/2014 09:23

True, I am being judgemental. I suppose it's that I didn't have a choice and others do.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 04/06/2014 09:27

If we removed everything that is proven to increase our chances of getting Cancer, then the food outlet places in hospitals, would close.

I'm not a smoker, I think it's a stupid thing to do.

I've educated myself about processed food etc and it puzzles me why we defend feeding carcinogenic substances to our children, from practically birth and vehemently defend our right to do do, in the guise of "a treat now and again is fine".

Phoenix2014 · 04/06/2014 09:28

OP doesn't seem judgemental at all. It seems to be more about the location of the smoking, which I agree is really a bit much, especially from staff.
I would definitely complain.

whatdoyoureallyknowaboutufo · 04/06/2014 09:40

I would imagine for same people who perhaps weren't so lucky with treatment who suffer a lot of pain, smoking is just another way of dealing with circumstances!

Same people will go with the flow
"where no hope is left..."

I've stop being judgmental a while ago and so whatever help you

specialsubject · 04/06/2014 10:01

if people choose to smoke knowing the risks, that's Darwin for you. It does give the rest of us money. There may also be some people with terminal diagnoses who think 'might as well'

but having to battle through a reeking cloud of reeking people to get into a place that you have to go to (And don't WANT to go to) is not on. Especially at a hospital! There should be a designated smoking area well away from the building. Doesn't have to be made attractive or put under cover, rain never killed anyone.

wish you well, OP.

ginmakesitallok · 04/06/2014 10:06

You can complain, but there's not much the hospital can do except ask people not to smoke. Our local hospital is meant to have no smoking on the grounds. It has tannoy announcements at the entrance, doesn't stop people smoking. If staff ask people not to smoke they just get abuse. If staff smoke on the grounds it it a disciplinary offence, if patients/visitors do it there's nothing they can do about it.

Mabelface · 04/06/2014 10:16

You're not BU. I think it's fucking rude to stand in a doorway and make people walk through a fog of your smoke. It's not about being judgemental, but about common decency. When I smoked, I'd move right away so I wouldn't inflict my habit on other people.

CundtBake · 04/06/2014 10:16

I am a smoker. If I stopped doing anything that might give me cancer there wouldn't be a lot left for me to do. I barely drink, I'm a single mum and sometimes I just need to de-stress! Doesn't everyone have a vice? The judgemental aspect of your post is unreasonable.

However my smoking is my choice, and I try my best to ensure I don't inflict it on other people. Smoking at the entrance of a hospital is really selfish (and trashy in my opinion). People can't always help their addictions but they could take a bit more of a walk.

CundtBake · 04/06/2014 10:17

And I wish you all the best with your treatment Thanks

PeachyParisian · 04/06/2014 10:32

Yanbu to hate the fact that you have no choice but to walk through the cloud of smoke to enter the hospital but yabu to expect everyone not to smoke because of the risk of cancer. Either they don't care or they think they'll be lucky and avoid it. In any case you can't tell people what to do so leave 'em to it.

My grandmother continues to smoke 3-5 a day after having Breast cancer nearly a decade ago. She's adamant there's no link (wrong) and won't give up because she says she's given up everything else that's bad for her (wrong: thick butter on everything, lots of choc) there's no changing her mind about it though and nagging her just creates resentment.

NigellasDealer · 04/06/2014 10:34

butter and chocolate are not bad for you

Bambambini · 04/06/2014 10:42

Think as an ex smoker who may have inflicted the same on non smokers - then you have little to judge possibly. But is fowl!

Onesleeptillwembley · 04/06/2014 10:54

It's not a case of being judgemental, it's fucking disgusting to have to walk through that. It shouldn't be at any doorway, let alone there. Selfish filthy bastards.

StarGazeyPond · 04/06/2014 11:06

AIBU not to want to walk through clouds of smoke at the entrance to the oncology centre?

Well, if hospitals hadn't taken away the enclosed outside smoking rooms people would not stand at the entrance would they?

Mabelface · 04/06/2014 11:12

No reason for people to stand at the entrance. They could move away. I used to.

StarGazeyPond · 04/06/2014 11:17

Well, Madlizzy, judging by our local hospital you are definitely the exception Smile

tilbatilba · 04/06/2014 11:26

It's a new law in Victoria Australia you are not allowed to smoke in the vicinity of a hospital. It's made such a great difference.

squoosh · 04/06/2014 11:28

I thought the NHS had banned staff from smoking on hospital grounds?

LadyRabbit · 04/06/2014 11:32

I'

LadyRabbit · 04/06/2014 11:33

I've bee