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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Doctor kissing my baby

134 replies

SparklyVampire · 04/06/2014 08:25

I have been thinking about this over night and now I think I need some opinions. Ok so yesterday I took my DD to her 8 week check, the doctor was very umm, enthusiastic. She took DD straight away for cuddles and said it was the best part of been a doctor. She was very gushy about how beautiful and perfect DD is, then she started kissing DD. A lot.
I was a bit weirded out but I didn't say anything. I told Dh when he got home from work and he thinks that it is creepy and I should report her.
I think she just got a bit carried away even if it was strange, I'm not sure if it warrants reporting though.
Would you say it is unreasonable to report or would you shrug it off?

OP posts:

MisForMumNotMaid · 04/06/2014 10:34

I think its lovely and with all the child protection issues in the news we're now worrying about things that we wouldn't have given a second thought to twenty years ago.

Maybe her slight over enthusiasm came after appointments with terminally ill patients or those needing referrals for significant illnesses. Maybe seeing a patient who was at the start of their journey and thriving helped her to get back on track emotionally for the day to balance the bad bits out.

peppinagiro · 04/06/2014 10:35

My Dr did this at our 8 week check! I thought it was hilarious, and have always asked for her specifically when I've needed to take DD in. Why wouldn't I? It shows she cares and is human. And lovely.

My DH is also antisocial and a misery, and extremely PFB, but he was absolutely delighted to see the Dr so taken with his baby. Your DH sounds like the weird one, not the Dr.

Germgirl · 04/06/2014 11:06

My old vet used to do this to my cat. Pick him up, nuzzle his face, call him a handsome man & generally coo all over him. I thought it was hilarious.
I don't have children & therefore have no experience of taking them to the doctors bit I think if be very happy if a doctor was so cuddly with my child.
And even a miserable old curmudgeon like me has to agree that baby heads are made for kissing.
And, as I microbiologist I have to tell you that 'mouth germs' will not harm your baby's head. Unless your baby has an open wound & the doctor was repeatedly licking it I think you'll be fine.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/06/2014 11:17

Aw I always did that with the animals I worked with

Still, if your so worried about germs why take them to the drs unless they were ill anyway.

tisrainingagain · 04/06/2014 11:41

I think kissing is strange too. Very personal somehow. Especially loads of times . A cuddle on the other hand, nice and not intrusive.

tisrainingagain · 04/06/2014 11:42

Not a child protection issue though.

Cocolepew · 04/06/2014 11:49

I think the kissing is a bit odd tbh.

CiderLover · 04/06/2014 11:49

What would you report her for?

If she got suspended how do you think she would feel knowing her career has been jeopardised because she gushed over a newborn baby?

Fathertedfan · 04/06/2014 12:10

It depends really on your levels of what you find overstepping the mark really. My old doctor was a very touchy feely man and when I had a car crash and went to see him the day after he gave me a big bear hug. It was lovely and I didn't find it in any way inappropriate, but I understand that other people would have been horrified.

Bowlersarm · 04/06/2014 12:15

I think it's sweet. Babies are kissable. If you are holding them, their heads just sort of invite it.

cowsarescary · 04/06/2014 12:23

Is she from Greece / Turkey / Mediterranean / somewhere similar, originally? Folks abroad much more demonstrative with children than tepid Britishers ime.

Molotov · 04/06/2014 12:30

I wouldn't like it if a doctor kissed either of my children. I don't mind a hair ruffle, a cheek brush or and hand hold. But not a kiss. No way.

I don't think I would report the doctor to thre GMC, but I would raise the issue with the Practice Manager with regards to how un professional it seems, and how uncomfortable it made you feel.

cashmiriana · 04/06/2014 12:31

I'll be honest, I would have hated it. I wouldn't want anybody kissing my children, any more than I would, having taught in Early Years, want to kiss my pupils. For me it crosses a professional line.

2boys1girlNoPeace · 04/06/2014 16:24

My Dr has cuddled and kissed all 3 of my babies, BUT he has been my Dr since I was a baby, I know him, I trust him, I value him as my Dr.
He has several children of his own.
I love how affectionate he is with me and my children, it doesn't feel odd or creepy.

I had the same midwife for my first pregnancy (twins) and my second, when my girl was born, she came to do a health check and walked straight up to my boys, gave them huge hugs and a kiss on their head (they were 6) and congratulated them on their new arrival.
Again, I loved this, but again, I developed a rapport with the woman during both pregnancies, she was simply lovely! Perfect midwife!

I would feel uncomfortable with anyone I didn't know doing it though, maybe not enough to think it creepy or worth reporting though.

NoImSpartacus · 04/06/2014 16:33

I really can't quite believe that you have posted this. Your doctor sounds absolutely lovely. You and your husband sound v uptight.

Creepy?

Thisvehicleisreversing · 04/06/2014 16:35

When I took DS for his 6 week check up my usually grumpy GP cooed over him. There was no kissing of his head but he carried him about and spent ages making him smile.

He then gave me a big hug and told me I had a perfect baby. of course I did

It still makes me smile.

Doingakatereddy · 04/06/2014 16:35

You presumably have a scrummy baby?

Give the poor woman a break, she probably deals with piles, depression, back pain and the such all day and ten she gets a warm cute baby.

We are all human. She's probably kicking herself for been over familiar today. Babies make people all gooey, even GP's

JonesRipley · 04/06/2014 16:36

It's fairly unusual, I'd guess, but nothing actually wrong with it really. I think I'd be a bit taken aback because it's unusual

My vet is also all gushy over my cat.

Xmasbaby11 · 04/06/2014 16:38

I think she sounds lovely!

widdle · 04/06/2014 16:42

Heck she sounds a lot nicer than our Ds's doc who checked his circumcision at 1 week old. He was prodding a bit and DS was crying so then needlessly continued prodding while lecturing us that we were being too sensitive and babies cry no shit Sherlock when you are causing him pain Then refused to hand him back so I could comfort him!!

DH had to restrain me from decking him - suffice it to say we never went back

macdoodle · 04/06/2014 17:01

I'm a GP, I am pretty serious most of the time. I love babies and will often have a cuddle and kiss. I think you and your DH are the weird ones, and nasty and vindictive to boot. Poor GP, we cant bloody win can we.
What are you hoping to get out of a complaint??? Not compensation by any chance??
Do you have any idea the amount of stress and time a complaint brings, and one as daft as this. Why dont you find a new GP, clearly you cant have a relationship with this one, and if I was her I would really be uncomfortable and on edge being you dr.

Abra1d · 04/06/2014 18:45

DOn't take it to heart, macdoodle. Most of us love it when doctors and other healthcare professionals are 'human' with our children.

Do you do hugs for tetchy great teenagers as well? Some of them could really do with it.

mumeeee · 04/06/2014 18:50

macdoodle. The OP has said she is not going to report the GP,

Marylou2 · 04/06/2014 18:57

I was wondering as others were if your Doctor was from a Mediterranean/middle eastern background? When DD was tiny we stayed at a hotel in Jordan that was hosting a medical conference. DD was admired, hugged and cuddled by various female doctors and I found it slightly disconcerting at first but their genuine enthusiam and caring natures shone through.

BlueJean · 04/06/2014 19:00

I am not a GP but I agree with macdoodle .

I would be delighted if a doctor had been so loving toward my DC . Yes it is odd in the society we live in today - but really to even think of reporting a doctor for being enthusiastic about a baby in the presence of its mother is beyond the pale.

You need to get a new uncaring GP so you and your Dh can go and be miserable in their surgery.

Leave room for those of us who like our doctors to be human.

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