to think that if you cook your dp should was up

[newcastlebelle1]

I am a sahm and I am becoming increasingly pissed off with being treated like a housewodk fairy. Saturday night we get a takeaway and I wash up. (fair enough). The next night I cook and than put dd3 to bed and go to bed straight after. I come dosn this morning to the kitchen as I left it.
Aibu to think we should get equal time awzy from chores at tne weekend.

Wash up.

Can you wash up as you are cooking so it's only dinner plates and cutlery left, which you can each do after dinner?

Yanbu

Have you got a dishwasher ? Is there room in the kitchen for one?

Not necessary tbh.

Because of the typo, I started to read the title as "if you cook your DP ... "

It'd remove the washing up debate, but perhaps a tad too drastic?

I agree. I haven't washed a pot in 20 years. I do all the food preparation, cooking, pack ups etc.
DC clear the table and DH loads and unloads the dishwasher (which is on at least once a day), and puts away. Absolutely everything goes in the dishwasher, nothing is so precious it requires hand washing.
It suits us both.

We have always had the rule in the bunbaker household that whoever cooks doesn't get to wash up. It has worked for us for over 30 years

It was only a basic meal so one saucepan used at last minute. Just frustrating that it was left. He can sit and watch tv whilst I do bedtime and I am struck with washing up next day.
I do normally tidy as I go but it still leaves 5 plates etc.

In our house one person puts the kids to bed whistle other washes up.

Sometimes I cook wash and tidy several days on the run and then have a week of not doing it. It depends what else is happening. I may do all the washing up while DH does the shopping or. Does the 'dad taxi run'

No hard and fast rules if everyone does something.

In my house whoever cooks rests while the other does the washing up. I can wash up and cook at the same time but don't see why I should (DH not that great a cook so he usually washes up). We have a dishwasher but I like my pans hand washed.

I don't see this changing once the baby is born really.

We do the same as 5madthings. The way we split the jobs, DH cooks if he is here, washing and ironing clothes is my job. Washing up is done by whoever isn't putting DS to bed. It sounds like its not just the washing up though, you do it all while he doesn't pull his weight? If that is the case, then it is not fair, and he needs to learn to do his bit, whatever the two of you can agree that should be.

We have the same set up as 5madthings generally I prefer the washing up while listening to The Archers over tooth brushing battles and reading Goat Goes To Playgroup 10 times in a row.

If I want DH to the do the dishes I have to ask him, in the situation you describe he would only wash up if I asked him too.

Yanbu at all, dh is the same. I have a dishwasher for this reason.

Don't you both do bedtime?

I think if one cooks the other should wash up, definitely. Or swap for another job, like Notso above.

Mine drives me mad - I am a SAHM so I don't mind, at all, doing the house and garden chores.

But I do get REALLY fed up when DH has a cup of tea or coffee. Typically, his bedroom will have five or six cups in there - why can't he just use the same one? It drives me mad.

Likewise Bunbaker unless we choose to continue our over the table natter while one washes and one dries. No dishwasher, never had one.

YANBU. It's how it works in our house.

What does your DH say when you discuss it with him?

Can you wash up as you are cooking so it's only dinner plates and cutlery left, which you can each do after dinner?

God forbid the all-important man should have to skivvy in the kitchen any more than is absolutely necessary.

Who are these men being ridiculously pandered to?

YANBU.

I do all the cooking (through choice) so my DH does the washing up. I will sometimes do it just to be nice plus I wash a lot as I cook so there's never a kitchen full of dishes to do.

He has on occasion complained but gets told that no washing up = no meals for him. On only one occasion he refused to do them so I carried out my promise and didn't make him dinner the next night. Never happened again.

We used to do this until I discovered that DH is a much messier cook than me so I got the rough end of the deal. So now the arrangement is that whoever cooks does the clearing up too. We take it in turns to cook.

As for your AIBU, I don't think you were BU in this case. Your DH was inconsiderate not cleaning up when you'd gone off to bed. It's only fair to share chores.

Same as 5madthjngs here. Inc load/empty dishwasher too.

YANBU if it wasn't for that rule we'd have to wait ages to replace the dishwasher which died today. It would involve extensive discussion and searching WHICH for recommendations then forgetting about it for weeks despite my reminder to agree what to do. As it is I predict a replacement within days.

In the smutko household, he/she who cooks does not do the washing up. Much as dp loves to cook, he's rarely home early enough so I cook and he washes up (which is how I like it - cooking is much nicer than washing up). The fact that he works full time and me part time doesn't come into it thankfully.
Just get an arrangement agreed upon. If need be, type up a list of rules (thou shalt not leave the washing up til the morning unless there's been a party and thou art pissed)!