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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

sending cards after 20 week scan

68 replies

random3 · 31/05/2014 21:43

My friend has just had her 20 week scan and I'm the only one who hasn't sent a 'baby girl' card. Is this normal? I'm really superstitious as a close family member had a still birth (I don't want to tell my friend as I don't want to upset her)
Should I just send a card?

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 31/05/2014 21:45

I have never heard of this. Baby cards are for when the baby is born as a welcome into the world.

Casmama · 31/05/2014 21:46

Absolutely not, what a weird idea! What will people send she the baby is born?

Original poster
random3 · 31/05/2014 21:46

That's what I thought - I was really surprised

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 31/05/2014 21:46

Seriously? A card after the 20 week scan?

I that case, why not after the 12 week scan?

And do people actually still send proper cards at all these days? Confused

Only1scoop · 31/05/2014 21:46

How extremely odd

Pipbin · 31/05/2014 21:47

Never hear of anyone doing that. Normally the mother says what the gender is and everyone says 'how lovely' and you leave it at that.
I agree, I know a couple of people who have had still births and late losses. I don't send a card until the baby has arrived.

AnyFucker · 31/05/2014 21:47

what ?

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg · 31/05/2014 21:49

No, it is weird. The baby isn't safely here yet.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 31/05/2014 21:51

Christ all-fucking mighty, now I've heard it all.

And your the only one who didn't know to do this? Confused You mean there is more than one person who actually does this?

Terrible idea, wait until the baby is here safely.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 31/05/2014 21:51

You're*

Finola1step · 31/05/2014 21:53

I agree with waiting until baby is actually born.

Just a thought ... I know that ultrasounds are vv accurate these days. But my mum was told I was a boy. I was born onto my tummy and when turned over.. much shock to discover I am of the female gender.

Weegiemum · 31/05/2014 21:55

I've never heard of this.

I'm a big old mump, though, avoided 2 baby showers and one "gender reveal" party (complete with cake!) this year because I was busy drinking wine with my family!

Itsfab · 31/05/2014 21:56

What is the card meant to say? Confused

We have had quite a few babies born in the family recently and even when I have known what the sex of the baby is I haven't bought a thing until they are here safely.

SantanaLopez · 31/05/2014 21:56

Very strange, I wouldn't like it at all. I mean, it's nice that people want to say congratulations and good luck verbally, but written down... no.

alexwol · 31/05/2014 21:57

Actual cards? Very weird.

Writerwannabe83 · 31/05/2014 21:57

Gender Reveal Party Shock Grin Grin

Was it hosted by the first woman to ever have a baby by any chance??

what self indulgent crap Grin

BakerStreetSaxRift · 31/05/2014 22:00

So are there actual, like, cards in shops that say "You're having a boy!" then?

ikeaismylocal · 31/05/2014 22:01

Very strange.

I have met quite a few people who were told the wrong sex at their 20 week scan, especially being told a girl is unreliable.

I got my friend a little pink sleep suit but that was mostly because I like buying baby clothes ;)

Whathaveiforgottentoday · 31/05/2014 22:03

nope, that's weird. A quick verbal congratulations is more than enough.

PandaPicnic · 31/05/2014 22:04

If that person did have a stillborn child, they would probably keep that card forever
It would be a much treasured momento

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 31/05/2014 22:04

FFS! You've really screwed up then! Let's hope the sonographer hasn't mistaken the foetus's genitals! ?..makes me wonder if you could get a refund if it's a boy???

NigellasGuest · 31/05/2014 22:05

I didn't dare buy the moses basket til I was in labour

much less expect cards before the actual birth!

JamJimJam · 31/05/2014 22:05

Weird.

And daft.

Weegiemum · 31/05/2014 22:06

Yes writer clearly the 3 large galumphing children that she'd babysat had just arrived like that (yes, I am talking about my own brood!).

It was apparantly cringeworthy - pregnant lady didn't know until she cut into her lovely white cake to see the pink sponge. Her clearly as nutty as her husband had organised it.

If I mention anything else she's done/is planning, I'd get flamed!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 31/05/2014 22:07

FFS! You've really screwed up then! Let's hope the sonographer hasn't mistaken the foetus's genitals! ?..makes me wonder if you could get a refund if it's a boy???