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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

sending cards after 20 week scan

68 replies

random3 · 31/05/2014 21:43

My friend has just had her 20 week scan and I'm the only one who hasn't sent a 'baby girl' card. Is this normal? I'm really superstitious as a close family member had a still birth (I don't want to tell my friend as I don't want to upset her)
Should I just send a card?

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 01/06/2014 10:37

Re, the DM link.

I love this comment.

""I once spent £7.32 on chicken and vegetables for tea then when my husband got home from work he fancied chilli... Where's my story?""

To answer you OP, most things are "normal", it's whether they are usual, for you/yours.

RedRoom · 01/06/2014 11:33

Bad idea.

QueenOfThorns · 01/06/2014 13:12

I'm not sure that DM sad face woman understands the meaning of the word 'essentials'. Or is my poor DD a deprived child, having reached the grand old age of 4.5 months without ever wearing a frilly dress or a pair of shoes?

But back to the OP - I'm struggling to understand how the conversation went. "Everybody has bought me a card except you!" "Er, sorry?"

FunkyBoldRibena · 01/06/2014 13:22

Everybody has bought me a card except you!

'What - everyone? The queen? The pope? The prime minister? How fucking exciting!!! I'll bet you are chuffed to bits!!!'

dottytablecloth · 01/06/2014 13:40

Does she have a 20 week scan gift list?

What are you going to buy her?

Lilaclily · 01/06/2014 13:44

It's a bit like engagement cards & gifts

Just wait for the main event people

answercomestherenone · 01/06/2014 13:49

Okay, I'm going to stick my head cautiously out of my shell and say I quite like the idea of a gender reveal party. I love a party and I particularly like opportunities for communal cheering. A gender reveal party would combine those two things, wouldn't it? You could all have a nice cheer after the cake was cut. And then you could eat cake. Which I also like.

ThaneOfScunthorpe · 01/06/2014 13:50

That baby reveal gone wrong video is hilarious!

I don't believe that you're the ONLY one who hasn't bought a card, OP.

ApocalypseThen · 01/06/2014 14:43

I have bought and sent congratulations on your pregnancy cards but only to my sisters in law. Just very excited about new family members, want them to know that I'm thinking of them and wishing them a happy and safe pregnancy.

MrsCakesPremonition · 01/06/2014 14:49

That clip of the little boy being upset about getting another sister...
As a parent, once you realised that your child is genuinely very upset, wouldn't you put down the camera and give the lad a hug? Or do you just think "cool youtube clip" and keep filming? That father is a twat.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 01/06/2014 14:54

Madness, I refuse to believe that everyone has sent her a card unless everyone she knows is a loon

pipbin best of luck with the ivf

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 01/06/2014 15:11

amy83 I have 2 cards from friends congratulating me on being pregnant. I'm only 17 weeks! I think it's no coincidence that neither of the women who sent the cards have kids and too much time on their hands

may be they were just trying to be nice to you. why do you need to put them down as childless women with too much time on their hands?

maggiethemagpie · 01/06/2014 15:34

I received a congratulations youre expecting card when pregnant with DD (not gender specific). It was from my friend who lives in Holland so maybe it's the norm out there. Agree that it's not good to send them before baby is born as you never know what will happen. I personally would never send a card before a baby is born, maybe a 'leaving to have a baby' card for a work colleague but nothing else

SauvignonBlanche · 01/06/2014 15:45

That YouTube clip is horrible, what would possess a parent to carry on filming?

I would never send anything until the baby is born.

Honeybear30 · 01/06/2014 15:58

I received one card after my 20 week scan. It made me really uncomfortable. It was, of course, from someone without children. I definitely wouldn't send cards, I'm not superstitious it just seems a bit premature to be celebrating a 'baby boy/girl' when there is still such a long way to go. Also received flowers and a balloon with the gender on it, dh made me put it all away because it made him feel really awkward. I think people are just trying to be nice, but this is definitely not the norm!

CharmQuark · 01/06/2014 16:17

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Apart from anything else I am very pleased I didn't have a whole guest list hanging on the results of our 20 week scan as they discovered 'soft markers', a 'congenital abnormality' and I spent a week waiting for the results of an amnio to determine whether a potentially non-viable trisomy was present. The 20 week scan is primarily a medical screening test!

We hadn't told anyone we were going, anyway, and asked not to find out the sex, and would never have held a baby reveal party anyway!

As for that YouTube clip - not only does the dad keep filming, but in front of his dds sympathises, saying 'I know', and 'that's what I wanted, too', and then goes on to blame his son: 'you should have prepared yourself for this disappointment'. Ah, yes, that developmental milestone small children acquire so easily! Parenting would be so much easier if small children were skilled in preparing themselves fro disappointment!

BikeRunSki · 01/06/2014 16:21

Bonkers

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 01/06/2014 16:24

Wtf? Cards are sent after the baby is born.

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