To think that a lot of the time having someone in the family with a disability does mean being long term poor?

[extremepie]

Obviously this is not the case for everyone but it certainly is for me!

I know that families with a disabled member do get extra help in the form of extra tax credits, DLA, carer's allowance ha! etc but aibu to think that due to the often extra expenses that are incurred by having someone with a disability in the family all this doesn't go as far as you might think?

Due to my current circumstances, I am not able to work and I can't see this changing in the near to moderate future unless something drastically changes. This is not unusual, as a lot of us just can't work around all the medical appointments, time off required to look after them etc so working is just not feasible but I hate the idea that this current situation is all I have to look forward to in the future and that my financial situation will not really improve :(

Aibu to think I'm not alone in this and that for a lot of people having to manage the needs to someone with a disability means they are struggle in the long term? In most circumstances if your money situation is tight you can either try and earn more money or cut your expenses but often people with a disabled family member can't do either!

unhappy is a troll(yep I said it) she posts to cause hurt and upset.
why don't you ignore her (pretend you have a hide button) cos she is just so not worth it.

Not a lot.

They feed on benefit threads, can not read and are deaf. Have an air of superiority that tries and fails to mask the stench they give off. They are blind to facts but have a talent for twisting words and ignoring others.

None are liked and are predictable and deluded. You've got to feel sorry for them really. To come across as they do, goad as they do and just down right bully to make people feel as shit as possible their lives have to be either really, really shit or they are seriously disturbed.

I have just reported my own (last) post asking MNHQ to comment on the difference.

Because actually, whilst spats and bust ups and flouncing are all in the game, it seems to me that HappyMummyofOnes repeated and very longterm behaviour towards women in difficult situations is the opposite of supportive and quite a long way over the line of what MN is supposed to be about.

Oo, my sister loves fivefingers!

Oh but it doesn't matter that her posts are designed to hurt people that really don't need the extra stress. It's 'opinion', you see.

Happy swoops in on any thread where there is a whiff of a sahp. She believes absolutely no family should have one and they are worthless.Any chance she gets whatever the thread she will stick the boot in.She hates them and clearly that extends to families who have disability to contend with.

I hate to use the ishoooos phrase but in this case I think there are mega issues and a humongous chip involved.

I wouldn't retaliate.

I've called that poster a troll a number of times because they are one. There's no other reason for people to be that nasty repeatedly to specifc groups of people like this one does..it's actually bullying.

NEVER have I seen that poster say anything nice or support anyone.

While I despise the venom that gets spat out from certain posters on these threads, the majority of contributors are wonderful human beings whom I respect hugely.

MN has helped me come to terms with my disability. I am proud of who I am. I am still me but I come with a side serving of disability. Recognising that there are inequalities has also helped me because I know to keep an eye out, to advocate for myself and to take precautions where neccecary. Saying that there are many things I cannot do does not negate all the things I can do.

so why don't mn hq ban them? why allow a troll to continue to troll
maybe the should look at their campaign "this is my child"
(think thats its name)

she posts to cause hurt and upset.

I am genuinely trying very hard now to see another motivation but I think you must be right.

This thread (unlike others in the past where she has gone all DM-on-crack) is not about CSA or benefits policy or the like - the main focus is personal.

She had no relevant experience or insight but her spitefulness was shocking.

Why do you do it MummyofOne? Can you not admire some of these women battling on under tough circumstances?I thought you liked grit?

It does make you wonder.

No. Because she's bitter, twisted and miserable.
Where are her snidey posts now? Too chicken to face the truth?

Oh but it doesn't matter that her posts are designed to hurt people that really don't need the extra stress. It's 'opinion', you see.

so why don't mn hq ban them?

Bloody good question. Let's ask them.

MNHQ are not exactly reliable when it comes to threads like this though.

Most benefit bashing/disableist threads are still allowed to stand despite being reported. It's a huge issue that never seems to be delt with.

You can't call anyone names or use verbal attacks but you can call someone a spaz and a scrounger/drain on society.

MN aren't on the ball with this just yet.

Oh yes. She's allowed to 'tell it like it is' and 'go against the crowd' but if anyone dares to retaliate it's bullying and you get threatened with suspension when she's driven you to breaking point.

You report her posts and get told she's entitled to an opinion. The fact she's caused such levels of distress is irrelevant - she matters far more than those she hurts.

Why does she matter more?

There are issues about not trying to stop people having their own opinion.

But I have to say, HMOO does often seem to have her own facts. This thread's a nice little demo - the false amounts for benefits, the strawmen she totes.

I do sometimes think (on low days) that she gets away with it because that's how MN think.

They wouldn't ban or delete posts they agree with.

Though I do think she is the exact antithesis of what we are constantly told mumsnet is for, ie "to make parents' lives easier".

Too sodding right. I think she's gone too far on this thread (and I speak as someone far from perfect who frequently who gets deleted).

I know it is just an internet forum.

But in my years on Carers Allowance, sometimes tipping the contents of the change jar into the the tesco coinstar machine to pay for value groceries to get us through the end of the month, fighting to get my child a full time education, if she had caught me on a night when I had already been crying on the kitchen floor, with her evil condescending 'it can be done, try harder, glass half full' shite it might have tipped me over.

Maryz Sat 31-May-14 23:14:11
And I bet a million pounds this thread is deleted for bullying sad

you are right, it will be,
i mean how dare people who walk the walk call troll....

i have seen this troll hurt people I care about.
hopefully now MN has the "this is my child" campaign
they will stand by it and deal with the troll.
allowing them to continue to hurt the very people who that campaign stands for......
well that would be so wrong

Don't forget the famous disability benefit - the DVLA.
Just as correct as the rest of her 'facts'.

The kind of rhetoric she spews is the very same that has led to the rise in hate crime against disabled people. It leads to behaviour like that seen at a void bank local to me this week - donations being contaminated with used cat litter and razor blades.