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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think taking about how much you've "made" from your property is vulgar and rude

183 replies

brt100 · 31/05/2014 14:01

Firstly you haven't made anything unless you move and secondly this money isn't magiced out of thin air - people below the chain have to pay for it by working longer,having 35 year mortgages and having less of a life while they pay it back.

Also its really inconsiderate braging in front of people that cant afford to buy!

I think it was ghandi that said there is no greater evil than money earnt without work

Rant over, just had a friend round and I'm still fuming. Its bad enough at dinners

OP posts:
InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 31/05/2014 16:22

You're quite right, you haven't 'made' a penny unless you sell. My house has increased in value a lot, I wouldn't dream of braying about it. Most people I know can't afford a studio flat thanks to the ridiculous house prices. Not that that matters to all the house owners who are busy looking after no.1 and thinking 'I'm all right Jack'.
How on earth are our kids going to afford to rent OR buy?

ExcuseTypos · 31/05/2014 16:23

It is is tasteful to brag about that to anyone, but more so to someone who can't afford to buy. I don't know why anyone would be so crass as to do that.

We never discuss morgages, house prices etc. it's no one else's business. We've just put our house on the market and a friend started asking all sorts of money related wuestions. I told her I'd go and get my bank statements then she could have a really good nosey look. That shut her up.Grin

trambampoline · 31/05/2014 16:23

Going up in value doesn't automatically mean they've made any money. They (like everyone has to) will have paid a huge amount of interest on their mortgage so I can see why they'd be pleased to get somethibg back.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 31/05/2014 16:24

I can't believe so many people are defending the boastful misguided cow

ExcuseTypos · 31/05/2014 16:26

Well, unless your friend actually sells her house and downsizes, she won't have made anything, because it will all go into another house.

And she wouldn't be paying so much for the new house if prices weren't so ridiculous. She must be a bit stupid if she doesn't realise that.

CluelessCrapParent · 31/05/2014 16:27

Was she boasting or was the OP resentful and saw it was bragging...who knows.

WorraLiberty · 31/05/2014 16:29

Was she boasting or was the OP resentful and saw it was bragging...who knows.

This ^^

I can't make up my mind and the OP's subsequent posts aren't helping with that.

Itsfab · 31/05/2014 16:29

I get what you mean a tad. I bought a flat and sold it less than 2 years later for a 15K profit and have probably made 6 figures on the house I am in now if I sold today but it isn't free money. All will be needed to buy the next house and isn't anything to brag about as I have done nothing to make it worth the profit it would bring other than general decorating and fitting a better kitchen and nicer bathrooms.

Itsfab · 31/05/2014 16:31

This is ridiculous.

Flat bought for £41k, sold for under £60k now going for £180k.

AveryJessup · 31/05/2014 16:33

It is pretty pathetic to get an estate agent around for a valuation when she has no intention to sell and is just looking to salivate over some figure that may never be realised. I wouldn't be impressed by that either. So YANBU - it is vulgar.

If she got a promotion at work and wanted to share the good news, on the other hand, would you be happy for her? I hope so, otherwise, I really don't think you can call her a friend...

And, yes, I'm a homeowner, owner of some nicely appreciating stock options and a tidy pension btw just to prove my paper wealth credentials Grin Not jealous, just don't find your 'friend's' behaviour very classy.

daisychain01 · 31/05/2014 16:34

I have to say that I agree with you on this one, brt! I can't imagine any situation when I would talk to friends, family or whoever about notional profits made on our house. I mean why, just why? There are loads more interesting things I can think of to talk about.

About a year ago my DP bought our first home together (hoorah) and I made a lot of "profit" on the sale of my previous home. It gave me no delight at all in the money it gave us, other than the priority of being able to live together after several years of us having to live 100 miles apart and DP falling ill (he is better now Smile . I guess everyone's personal circ's regarding house moves are unique, that was our situation.

I felt it was "tempting fate" by talking about it, as if it could be taken away from us if we got too full of it, so it just got forgotten. I also think it could be offensive, rubbing someone's nose in it, a bit bleugh, when it is so much the luck of the draw, as lots of folk have really fallen on hard time with the recession, house repossessions etc. probably best to keep 'schtum' is my view!

daisychain01 · 31/05/2014 16:35

Me and DP bought the house btw

Bowlersarm · 31/05/2014 16:39

Was she boasting or was the OP resentful and saw it as bragging...who knows

Same as Worra, this ^^

YABU

Hopefully your weekend will improve when you get out of bed the right side tomorrow, OP.

SoonToBeSix · 31/05/2014 16:40

Nomama everything you mentioned apart from
buying the house renters do what an odd post.

Fakebook · 31/05/2014 16:42

So what if they got handouts from parents? Lucky them. So what if they put out twigs and pebbly shit to make their living room look nice?

You do sound very jealous OP. I think Shakespeare once wrote:

"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on..."

Let them boast if they want to and stay happy. Your time will come.

WorraLiberty · 31/05/2014 16:43

Friend I'm talking about, hasn't sold it. Has no intention of doing so. Just got estate agent round to make her feel rich and clever.

How do you know this OP?

Perhaps she just wanted to know what the market value is, in order to do some financial planning?

todoaboutnothing · 31/05/2014 16:43

I don't really think it's truly "profit" for a normal person... Yes developers who buy and sell quickly make money doing that, but for the average person the "profit" will likely be sucked up when buying a new home as house prices will have presumably risen for the entire area.

If the "profit" was created by them having had a lot of work done on their home to increase the value then they have worked for it, paid out of their own pockets to get work done, and risked making a loss, so not really "money earnt without work".

FunnyFoot · 31/05/2014 16:46

Why can't you just say 'oh that's nice' and leave it as that.

You sound very resentful OP. Can you not be happy for your friend. It doesn't sound like boasting to me it sounds like she mentioned it. To a friend. That's all.

Are you bitter?

Nomama · 31/05/2014 16:52

SoonToBeSix - renters don't fix up a house or replace the basics that a landlord has to put in place! You may redecorate the inside and buy your own furniture, but you don't do the rest - or if you do your landlord is having quite good laugh at your expense.

Having rented an unfurnished property for 10 years I have not paid for white goods that broke, replaced a carpet, paid for things to be PAT tested, yearly checks, or any of the things I listed. I moved in with my furniture and that was that! No outlay on the fabric or contents of the house at all.

SoonToBeSix · 31/05/2014 16:57

We replace white goods, carpets , decorate and keep in good condition which is everything you mentioned. That is the case when you rent in social housing.

theywillgrowup · 31/05/2014 16:59

maybe your friend had a dinner party to attend later and was polishing up on the content of the bound to happen conversation Grin

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 31/05/2014 17:01

Read Rich Dad, Poor Dad Grinthe author certainly disagrees with Ghandi and I agree with him.

limitedperiodonly · 31/05/2014 17:04

I don't talk about the value of my house because I find those conversations dull and crass.

It doesn't stop some people resentfully goading me about how 'lucky' I am. If I could be bothered to explain, I'd say it was a combination of luck, good judgement and liking for the area.

But I don't. I tend to go: 'Mmm' and not to see them again. Are you one of those people, OP?

Nomama · 31/05/2014 17:06

Ah! SoonToBeSix I was referring to private renting. That explains our mutual 'huh?' Smile

Laquitar · 31/05/2014 17:07

I agree OP and i am a home owner.

I get it if you are house development but i dont get it if you are talking about your first and only home , the one you live in it. In this case it is not a house but a 'home', thats how i see it.

I have a friend who owns a 1 bed flat in outskirts of london, not far from ours. She lives in it. She works in
central london. Every time i meet her she tells me how much she 'has made' ! She spends every evening on internet looking at the rises. Well imo she hasnt made any money. Unless she moves north.but her job is in london. Yes flat gone up. So what? Every property around gone up. If she needs a bigger house to start a family then she will find out that the bigger houses have gone up too. Honestly she talks about it every single time.

And i agree with op that it id vulgar to brag about it to friends who can not buy with the houses situation being as it is.

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