Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off that we can't afford a day out.

128 replies

Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 08:19

Hi I am pissed off as we can't afford a day out with the kids. We both work hard but cannot even afford the bus fare to town then entry to the castle or lunch or anything. We can't stay in garden as it floods when rains so it's all marshy. I feel like such a ba mother Hmm

OP posts:
MissDuke · 31/05/2014 08:25

Do you shop in Tesco? If so, club card vouchers can be used for days out. Can you go through your budgets and see if there is anything at all you can save on, money saving expert website is great for that. Have you anything you can sell, old clothes etc?

MissDuke · 31/05/2014 08:26

I cannot answer your AIBU by the way as I don't know if you waste money on crap or are genuinely struggling!

Only1scoop · 31/05/2014 08:27

Second Clubcard or Groupon local Bargains for entry to various places.

Walks and Bike rides when it's not peeing down....

Only1scoop · 31/05/2014 08:28

Oh this is AIBU....

Erm I don't know

About what?

Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 08:29

We do shop at tesco butI am Christmas savers so only get the vouchers in November. We don't have any debt like credit card and loans or anything but we just struggle to mKe ends meet. The only thing we have that don't really need is sky but we never go out don't drink or smoke so it's the only vice maybe it's time it went too. Am just feeling sorry for self and guilty that the kids have been stuck in over half term again. We had a play date yesterday and the kids were full of stories for days out and stuff. Hmm we will get there in the end x

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 31/05/2014 08:30

Go for a walk and take a picnic? Or go for a bike ride?

I'm not sure whether yabu or not. Couldn't you have done something if you had the forethought to plan it?

Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 08:31

I am on groupon but cos we live literally in the middle of nowhere and the bus service is shit it's so expensive to get anywhere good without a car

OP posts:
aderynlas · 31/05/2014 08:32

Some places have free entry to castles if you live nearby. If the weather gets better have a picnic day maybe.

JimmyCorkhill · 31/05/2014 08:33

I know what you mean. It's all the little bits that add up.

All I can suggest is sign up to Groupon for deals, take a packed lunch, walk where possible. My DDs favourite day is when we take a picnic lunch and hang out at a local park all day. She likes that much more than a 'proper' day out. Google free events in your area. Last summer I made a timetable (!) of everything free going on where I live and it filled the 6 weeks. The council site was good for this.

We also ask for membership to places for presents.

You're not a bad mum, life is bloody expensive.

KiaOraOAotearoa · 31/05/2014 08:33

A picnic in the parc? Take a ball/frisbee? Can you rustle a flapjack?
I am from the continent, we do the whole 'castle and lunch out' on holidays, and even then we prefer picnics, bread and cheese type of thing. My DD gets to go to places like Harry Potter world as a treat for her birthday, we save months and months for it.
I get what you are saying, not having the money can throw you in the pits of despair. It's not minimising the problem, believe it or not, we've been in your shoes.
You're not a bad mother at all, you're the best mother in the world!!!

Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 08:34

Yes probably bowlers but there is always something you know lol I just needed a kick there are plenty of people worse off than us so I guess I am being unreasonable

OP posts:
SocialMediaAddict · 31/05/2014 08:34

Where do you live? Most museums are free. Take a picnic.

Going to the park etc is free.

Jumblebee · 31/05/2014 08:35

The fact you don't have debt is a positive, so you need to look at it that way Smile

I'm the same, my DD is only 10 months so activities and days out aren't noticed by her. We don't have credit cards or debt either but we just manage to pay the bills with a little left over.

My sister is different, she has quite a lot of debt but still spends a lot of money on stuff she doesn't really need. It's different for her because her kids are older, but if I had the debts she has I don't think I could sleep for worrying about it. So even though we're skint we don't have to worry about that!

Can you do crafts at home? Buy stuff from the poundshop or go on long walks and trips to the park? You're in a better situation than a lot of people regarding debt so that is one less worry off your mind!

Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 08:39

Yesi totally agree re the debt and there are some good suggestions so thanks to all. My kids are 6 and 7months so the baby is oblivious but my ds not so much. We re saving like crazy to try get a few days at the coast at the end of the season like oct time but will have to see how it goes x so will focus on that I think x

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 31/05/2014 08:39

I x posted with you OP. If you are in middle of nowhere could you plan a walk using footpaths and take a picnic? Wear the dc out and come back for a family film night.

How old are your dc?

Bowlersarm · 31/05/2014 08:39

Agh x post again!

UtterFool · 31/05/2014 08:40

Yanbu for wanting a day out at all and it's tough going when things are tight.

Your time will come no doubt but till then I guess free stuff will have to suffice. We used to do nature trails in the woods, walks, bike rides etc.

ikeaismylocal · 31/05/2014 08:45

Is there local parks or nice walks? As a child we hardly ever went on days out to attractions but we were out every day on wet walks, making dens in the woods and visiting the library. I don't think I have been negatively effected by the lack of paid for outings.

hellokittymania · 31/05/2014 08:46

Like Jimmy mentioned, google free or low cost events. When I was in the UK last year, I found some good ones. I even found a 2 course lunch in London for £5!

Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 08:48

The weathers pants so we going to make some birthday cards for friends and family birthdays that are coming up and maybe baking this aft x

OP posts:
BellaOfTheBalls · 31/05/2014 08:50

For me personally YANBU, cause we've been here and I know how rubbish it is. But there are things you can do. DH was made redundant last year and the new role he was offered meant a significant pay decrease and I was out of work, so days out were the first things to go. Remember that your kids only know about what is normal for them. Do a little bit of research on your local area, if there is any woodland, beaches, coastal paths or bridlepaths etc you could plan a walk through. A walk with a picnic or even just a picnic in the park.

Might not be ideal depending on your area but we were given National Trust membership for Christmas. I thought that we would never use it but we really do and have discovered places that we would never have been able to afford or would have considered otherwise. They're often really geared towards children and families. Any other days out we plan and budget for, or check for vouchers - our local rag is good for free child entry vouchers to local attractions around school holidays.

Saving money things (without wanting to patronise, cause people are full of good advice when you say you're struggling for money and less so when they realise that no, actually, you're not spending money on fags, booze and designer trainers, you really are that skint) check you have a water meter fitted, check energy tariff, switch to Aldi/Lidl, drop down any Sky/mobile tariffs if you can, ebay/selling page bits and pieces you aren't using at home.

LadyintheRadiator · 31/05/2014 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaulkheadUpNorth · 31/05/2014 08:50

Could you ask for family bus pass for a present?

Lilaclily · 31/05/2014 08:51

What about the library ?
There might be something going on there today too as it's still half term
Cycle into town if you can't afford the bus ?
Or just you and 6 yr old go & leave dh with the baby - makes it loads cheaper if just 2 of you

Only1scoop · 31/05/2014 08:51

Tea lady can I send my dd over....she would absolutely love that ....she'll be good I promise Grin

Fingers crossed it brightens up....getting slightly less murky here.