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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off that we can't afford a day out.

128 replies

Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 08:19

Hi I am pissed off as we can't afford a day out with the kids. We both work hard but cannot even afford the bus fare to town then entry to the castle or lunch or anything. We can't stay in garden as it floods when rains so it's all marshy. I feel like such a ba mother Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 13:07

Not read all post but house is brand new but is housing association so not mine. Car is a disability car for my son not paid for out right I cannot sell the gardener is a necessity at the mo as I mentioned the garden floods and is all marshy he comes once a month

OP posts:
Original poster
Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 13:10

We didn't get the kittens and have stopped driving lessons as just couldn't maintain it.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 31/05/2014 13:11

so you have a car for days out - what was all the bus nonsense then?

you have a nice home, car, gardener, holidays - you CAN afford days out - you just need to work on the maths x

Original poster
Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 13:14

I not having a licence am unable to drive the bloody car Shock

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 31/05/2014 13:22

so why have a car - how confusing

there are lots of things you can do for free - even just walking round the block looking for insects or red cars or birds

get rid of sky for starters and just have freeview - use that money for a taxi to the park and a small picnic

crashboombang · 31/05/2014 13:22

What do people feel the need to pick holes? Offer advice or don't. Even if OP doesn't use her money well in YOUR opinion (from your thread searches) other posters may read and find them useful.

HappyAgainOneDay · 31/05/2014 13:24

Walks in the Autumn. Collect leaves from different trees and press them. Make pictures with them. Ditto with wild flowers (okay flowers from your garden) like buttercups or daisies.

I did this with my children and we made bookmarks together. Looking at one or two of them now (bookmarks not children), they were just pieces of cardboard cut to shape and size, pressed flowers or leaves placed on them and transparent sticky-back plastic all round the cardboard so you could have a double sided bookmark.

Collect fallen pine cones from different varieties. There are different shapes and sizes. So much can be learned from this sort of thing.

Collect blackberries ......

crashboombang · 31/05/2014 13:24

OP you live in a housing association home? What are they doing to help recify the garden problem?

Im assuming you are renting off them and your rent charges were based on a house with a garden not a house without a garden IYKWIM?

gordyslovesheep · 31/05/2014 13:24

people have offered advice - lots :)

crashboombang · 31/05/2014 13:25

Also look at shopping at Aldi. You will save much more money in the long run.

YesJesseARobot · 31/05/2014 13:26

DS' mobility car arrived a couple of months before I passed my driving test. DH took me out driving in it a lot, so I didn't need as many lessons. Would that be an option?

monkeymamma · 31/05/2014 13:27

Tealady you have my sympathies. There is a lot of pressure on kids and families to be having a day out and days out are IMO ludicrously expensive. Eg go to the zoo or steam train type attraction and pay £10 per person inc kids then find money for lunch then they want pressies etc. I really want to reassure you and try to take the pressure off because although we did do lovely days out when I was a kid I also have se lovely memories of days at home just chilling out, reading and drawing and making loads of stuff. I used to write stories if my own and create cardboard towns and cities and make stuff out if fimo :-)

A good plan for you might be to think of one big feature event for the week. If u can find a good free museum or gallery or library thing that's fab, park if weather permitting, or stretch the budget and go two for one etc at a major attraction (think one of the big cereal brands is doing an offer ATM) or one of the other deals mentioned here. If none of that is possible u could check out what movies you can watch, if u have sky hopefully there'll be something on one of the channels your kids would enjoy , and an a movie night, popcorn etc. Whatever you pick you can big it up for the kids so they've something to look forward to and tell friends about. Then you can encourage them to make their own entertainment on the other days eg drawing baking having a mini indoor Olympics.

Hope u feel less fedup soon and enjoy the rest of the break :-)

crashboombang · 31/05/2014 13:27

Yes gordy lots have given good advice. Just fed up with the keyboard warriors who have to pick holes all the time. Been here 7 years and its just getting worst!

crashboombang · 31/05/2014 13:28

Great advice Monkey.
Also maybe post on mumsnet local for some local
ideas?

Original poster
Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 13:29

My husband drives the car. Jesus if I thought I would have to put an income and expenditure form I wouldn't have posted. Also for those who feel they have the right to know my dh latest console was bought for him as a gift. I said in the beginning I know I need to get a grip cos there are people worse off than me. Those that commented with helpful advice thank you I am looking into reducing sky package and just switched has/elec supplier. I am crap with money saving tips ideas and do them helpful. Also April holiday was paid for too so not funded by us. All isn't as it seems at first glace so give people a chance next time you decide to jump down someone's throat only knowing half a story Wink

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 31/05/2014 13:32

But I think it's fair to say 'if you cut back on other things' such as sky/gardener you would have the money.

The OP was boasting on a different thread about her brand new house and her finance free brand new car ...so it didn't look like she was skint

I shop at Aldi and have cut back on other things to enable me to work less hours - there are ways of reducing outgoings - people where suggesting them.

HappyMummyOfOne · 31/05/2014 13:33

If the house is not yours, why on earth are you paying a gardener? How bad can the garden be if it's a new build?

The £100 on sky plus Netflix could soon go, that would pay for a few days out.

If things are so truly bad you can't afford a bus fare then how on earth are you going to afford two children? Childcare for a new baby doesn't come cheap and it means an extra mouth to feed, clothe, school trips etc.

Original poster
Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 13:35

Once I am back to work we will be fine it's basic maternity that's a massive massive drop in income. I don't have child are fees x

OP posts:
Original poster
Tealady1983 · 31/05/2014 13:37

He garden is on a slope and all the water collects at the bottom just outside the patio doors he garden is our responsibility to cut eyc bit never thought to tell them about it flooding I shall call on Monday Morning. I don't know anything about gardens but maybe something to do with it neon new turf?

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 31/05/2014 13:40

We have a local mini bus service that is 'for anyone with a transport need', but mainly the elderly use it, as others don't realise they are eligable. This is not a free service but certainly more bus fai prices than taxi prices. Is there anything like that near you?

I signed me and my kids up a while ago and have used it a couple of times, when bus times have not fitted in with start times for events.

If you have no bus service where you are, you would certainly be eligable.

You have to book in advance but that shouldn't be too much of a problem. You also have to take your own car seats or booster seats and they will not take children without them.

Is there anything like that near you?

HappyMummyOfOne · 31/05/2014 13:43

So a HA house so cheap rent, free car, free holiday, free childcare, luxury sky package (although never seen one that costs £100 a month even with every channel possible) yet you are moaning about the costs of days out Hmm

If you have a high enough rate of DVLA to afford a car (that you can't use!) then you'll also be getting a good monthly amount of tax credits plus two lots of CB. Either your budget is seriously wrong or you are trying to create am image to others you can't afford.

I wouldn't be providing somebody with a free holiday if they spent £1200 a year on sky Hmm

gordyslovesheep · 31/05/2014 13:43

yes like 'ring and ride' could that help

MammaTJ · 31/05/2014 13:46

HappyMummyOfOne, you come across as more bitter than happy, perhaps a name change is in order.

ChickenFajitasAndNachos · 31/05/2014 13:46

I once read an article about school holidays and how to 'survive' them. It said to try and get out of the house once a day even if it's just for a walk and once a week try and plan a bigger outing for the DC such as swimming. I thought that was good advice. With some planning (looking out for offers/vouchers etc) OP do you think that would be a possibility for the 6 week holiday?

fledermaus · 31/05/2014 13:48

I have a 3 month old and a 4 year old and this week we had one day just at home and walked down to the playground, one day went to a £1.50 showing at the cinema + MacDonalds, one day had friends over and made wraps for lunch, one day went swimming (this was our most expensive activity I think!) and one day visiting nanna. I try to plan one thing for every day but it doesn't have to be a big day out or very expensive.

Looking forward to school on Monday though Grin

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