To have taken toddler DD to nursery despite her being unwell?

[CrohnicallyHungry]

She has a cough and cold (and has done for several weeks now). It seems to get better for a short while but then comes back with a vengeance. Not sure if it's the same virus each time, or whether she keeps picking up new ones. But I'm putting it down to starting nursery, she also had rotavirus a month ago and is just struggling to shake these viruses off.

Anyway, I gave her calpol this morning as she woke very early coughing and crying (with each cough like it was hurting her). When I dropped her off at nursery they asked me to fill a form out documenting what I had given her. I did so, chatting with another mum who was doing the same. She asked the nursery worker if all the children had these coughs, so I told her my DD had it. During our conversation I also let slip that I had the day off work but was bringing her to nursery anyway as she has only been going a few weeks and only just getting past crying at drop off.

I now feel like this mum must have been thinking 'WTF? Her child's ill enough to need calpol, she's not even at work and she's leaving her child at nursery to infect the others!"

In my defence, as well as the settling in, I am taking my car in for repairs and will be sitting around waiting for it for an hour, and while DD could come with me, I'm sure she'll have much more fun at nursery.

So, AIBU to take her to nursery despite not technically having to, while she's feeling grotty with a cold and disturbed night? Or did I do the right thing and being kept active will keep her mind off it?

To be honest STDG that never even occurred to me- probably because he had already gone to work when DD woke coughing and crying, and then after the calpol had kicked in she seemed much better and went back to sleep.

Here's another question; at what point is it OK to send a child to nursery after they've been ill.

For a child with a post-viral, residual cough; are you expected to keep them home for the entire 6 or 7 weeks that they have that residual cough?

After a vomit, it's fairly clear cut - 48 hours is standard and easy to calculate. But what if they vomit because they choked on something and were not ill?

What about with a cold. The entire 2 weeks that it takes for the snot to finally stop appearing?

Does this change when they hit school age? Do we still keep them off for the week or two for that snot to stop, or do we just decide that they're old enough to wipe their own noses?

Should I, for example, have stayed off and kept my child home for the entire 5 months that she was ill with regular doctors checks and no diagnosis? (I would have if I could have, by the way - if it was an option me being wageless for 7 months, I would totally have stayed home with her.)

So then why ask?

I'm sorry to hear that clover. I would never send DD to nursery with a vomiting bug (if I knew about it, of course, sometimes children can seem absolutely fine and succumb to a bug while at school/nursery etc) or with anything more serious like chicken pox. When she had rotavirus she was sick Wednesday night, so Thurs I phoned and told them she wouldn't be in until after the weekend at least. But this is a cold. I am immune suppressed and colds are just one of those things.

I took my child out of one nursery because they didn't have a very strict policy on sick toddlers and so my DS spent the few months that he was there with one cold and D&V after another. I had to take time off work to look after him and still had to pay the fees.
I moved him to a nursery that was strict about not allowing kids to come in sick and he has since suffered with a more normal amount of colds and not had a single episode of D&V.
Yes it is a pain to have to look after sick toddlers when you have stuff to do but it is selfish to take your child to nursery when sick to infect all the other children.

Nah, YANBU at all. I was a SAHM mum and there were many times when I took a slightly ill DS into nursery. IT'S A COLD. Once the day is going lots of children perk up. Most of the colds/bugs they catch are from nursery anyway.

Staff know they can contact you if need be, just as the staff at my DSs' nursery knew they could contact me. Colds DON'T have an exclusion policy. They judge on the individual child and how they are holding out.

Runny noses and sore throats are a staple of nurseries.

TBH I found the nursery far more tolerant than the infant school, anyway.

The head teacher at the school thinks that if the DC needed any calpol than they should be at home with mum. I think a verbal DS was pretty capable of telling me if he should be staying home or not.

midnite but what if my DD spread her cold to the mechanics? And then they need to take time off work so they don't spread it round, so people's cars don't get fixed and they can't go to work either?

You can't have it both ways. Either she is too ill/infectious to go out at all or only in the direst emergency (as with d and v, or chicken pox) or she is allowed to be round other people and therefore doesn't need to be kept off nursery.

Clover - all sympathy to you, but that's hardly the case here is it? Not a vomiting bug at all.

oh for godssake. It is a COLD. she isnt riddled in pox spots. She is fine and happy there? leave her there. We are exposed to colds and bugs everywhere we go. I would not judge you for bringing her to nursery. My dds nursery has a girl with a terrible cough and no voice but bloody cheerful, why would this bother me?

Which is why you keep sick children at HOME. But you're the one who is insisting that your vehicle takes priority over your child. If your car is that important, it would be a lot easier to keep her away from mechanics than spreading her snot among all of her peers at care.

But you're determined to think that yanbu. So why even bother posting? Validation for your poor choices?

OP

No it's not d&v but if my child was visibly sore from all the coughing and I was off work she would be staying with me.

OP it's great you know your kid and what's best for her. Confuses me why you need to post about it but each to their own.

If my child woke up coughing and crying, I would have kept them home.

You chose not to, so I'm not sure why you're fretting if you think YANBU?

spreading her snot among all of her peers at care

Good Lord, have you been in a nursery lately? The number of children who DON'T have snot pouring out would be easier to count.

Well, proper illness aside, I would raise my eyebrows at any child carer questioning my right to have my child in childcare that I was paying for just because I was having the day off/needed to sort out chores other than actually being at work.

When my DC are borderline ill (coughs/colds/a bit under the weather) the last thing they want and need are cuddles/being at home in fact they would not sit still for cuddles/watching TV. They get whingey and whiny being at home and fractious whereas frequently at nursery they are fine and nursery actually has no idea of them being a bit under the weather. Obviously when they are properly ill it is a different matter.

In this case OP, YANBU

For the last time, I wasn't sure when I posted, but I am now. Have you never talked something over with a friend/relative to help you gain perspective on something? Even if they don't hold an opinion either way, and weren't there so don't know all the details and can't add anything new, the very act of talking can help to clarify your thoughts and position.

Well, I don't have any friends and my relatives are all at work, so I posted on here instead.

Not surprised you don't have any friends with an attitude like yours. I said it before and I'll say it again. Selfish.

Yabu. If your child is ill you stay with them, regardless. Frankly you are foisting her on other children who will pick up her illness. Really selfish behaviour. If I was another parent who knew about this i'd complain to the nursery. And why on earth haven't you taken her to the doctor? and instead your shovelling Calpol down her? Of course you should have taken her after weeks of cough and cold.

nice .

That's a fucking unplesant post heraldgerald.

Any reason you need to be so massively and disproportionately rude?

Yanbu nursery is more fun than a garage and it's only a cold .

Update: DH picked her up from nursery before lunch as planned. She was absolutely fine, no tears at all, and had had a great morning. No more calpol needed either. Nursery didn't say she'd been particularly coughing or snotty or any more tired than usual.

Oh- and I missed my important appointment anyway, thanks to my fecking car breaking down after I'd had it 'fixed'.