To have taken toddler DD to nursery despite her being unwell?

[CrohnicallyHungry]

She has a cough and cold (and has done for several weeks now). It seems to get better for a short while but then comes back with a vengeance. Not sure if it's the same virus each time, or whether she keeps picking up new ones. But I'm putting it down to starting nursery, she also had rotavirus a month ago and is just struggling to shake these viruses off.

Anyway, I gave her calpol this morning as she woke very early coughing and crying (with each cough like it was hurting her). When I dropped her off at nursery they asked me to fill a form out documenting what I had given her. I did so, chatting with another mum who was doing the same. She asked the nursery worker if all the children had these coughs, so I told her my DD had it. During our conversation I also let slip that I had the day off work but was bringing her to nursery anyway as she has only been going a few weeks and only just getting past crying at drop off.

I now feel like this mum must have been thinking 'WTF? Her child's ill enough to need calpol, she's not even at work and she's leaving her child at nursery to infect the others!"

In my defence, as well as the settling in, I am taking my car in for repairs and will be sitting around waiting for it for an hour, and while DD could come with me, I'm sure she'll have much more fun at nursery.

So, AIBU to take her to nursery despite not technically having to, while she's feeling grotty with a cold and disturbed night? Or did I do the right thing and being kept active will keep her mind off it?

You're Bsolutely happy in your decision so not sure why you've asked AIBU really.

Fwiw, I think YABU. Nursery is a stimulating environment and a hard place to be if you've slept badly, woken early and feel under par.

I know how it is to have child with ongoing illness, my dd was very ill for a long time and it is very wearing. However, her long term condition does mean that she is at greater risk from children who are sent to childcare unwell and I'm sure some of the winter illnesses would be limited by people keeping their dc off when ill.

yabu

what about all the other kids who will now get what your dd's got?

AIBU is prob not the best place for reassurance. Kids are germ magnets. Colds and coughs happen. They last for ages. It is life. If children were off nursey or school everytime they had a bit of a sniffle the government woukd have more to worry about than termtime holidays.

i would be the first one to moan if it was d and v or measles or chickenpox or something but it is not.

Chrohnically I think sometimes it's hard to know when they need to see a doc or not. FWIW I have taken my DC to see GP a few times with a cold and cough that has gone on for weeks. I now think it's always worth getting their chest sounded and ears checked, as they have discovered ear infections etc that I didn't know they had.

And I'm sure it varies, but my practice tends to suggest a course of ABs for really lingering coughs and colds to see if it shifts them.

Have you tried a v liberal application of Vick's VapoRub applied to feet at bedtime? Definitely helps with nighttime coughs here.

YABU, go and pick her up.

Yabu. If your child is ill you stay with them, regardless. Frankly you are foisting her on other children who will pick up her illness. Really selfish behaviour. If I was another parent who knew about this i'd complain to the nursery. And why on earth haven't you taken her to the doctor? and instead your shovelling Calpol down her? Of course you should have taken her after weeks of cough and cold.

Oh its fine, only a few hours.

I always wonder on these threads why the OP bothers to post.

Whether YABU or YANBU it isn't changing the decision you've already made. You also seem to be quite happy with your decision so can I ask, why are you asking?

pag still didn't say IWNBU! Just listing the 'extenuating circumstances' that lead to my decision. In my mind at least, that's different to insisting IWNBU. Perhaps that's just me being over literal/pedantic though.

Thanks to everyone for their opinions. Those who were asking, I posted on AIBU because I honestly wasn't sure this morning. Considering all your points (both the YABU and the YANBU) has really made me think about it, so I am now absolutely sure I did the right thing (there's the IWNBU you were looking for!). So it has been useful, even though the majority of you disagreed with me!

at 'I didn't actually say it' small print.

I wasn't looking for anything of course. I said upthread I think its really difficult.
It was just quite funny (- although not sure aibu is home to those able to laugh at themselves).

Honestly. It was a judgement call and you made your best choice. I'm sure it's all fine.

lookingthroughthefog. - I didn't want your story to go without being commented upon!

Your poor DD and Poor you! Glad she made a full recovery.

What I took from your story is that as working mums we do what we have to do and that we don't have a right to just judge on the basis of an out of context snippet - either on here or in RL.

Hope your DD feels better soon, OP.

YANBU. It's a cold not the bubonic plague!

I wouldn't stay off work for a snotty nose and a cough, I'd shovel in some paracetamol and get on with it. I wouldn't keep a child off school for a cold - there would be kids not in school all winter!

I wouldn't keep dd off nursery for a cold either. She had one on and off for the first five months she was at nursery.

Plus it's a parental call HOW ill they are. It's perfectly possible to be streaming with another and coughing but to feel ok in yourself. Op says her dd went into nursery fine. If my dd was full of cold but ok in herself, not clingy, behaving normally then off to nursery she would go.

Of she was clingy, lethargic, had a temp with it, then she would be kept at home.

I'm guessing that the OPs dd is in the first category.

You made a judgement call. You had all the relevant information, and you made the decision as you saw fit at the time.

What does it matter what someone else without all the relevant information might think?

And what Beck said.

Oh and in that five months if snot we went to the gp repeatedly.

Viral. Calpol if needed. Carry on as NORMAL.

I think you must be incredibly thick-skinned if you have read the responses you have received to your OP and have deduced from those that you were NBU.

I have sent ds to nursery with calpol when I've had no choice but to go to work. Working & having a small child is stressful.
They pick up one bug after another at that age. I would have been really really pissed off for an unwell child to be at nursery whilst their mum was off. God knows why you shared that with her! No wonder she looked judgemental. I would have been thinking that if my ds caught it,it'd mean another day off from work which could have had implications over more time off. The nurseries I've used would not accept ds if he'd been given calpol etc,so I had to make the judgement to give him it & not tell them.
I have no problem with children going to nursery if the mum is at home. Ds stayed on at nursery for sometime once I finished my last job. He also loved it.
I get what you are saying about the garage but stil think yabu.

So you were unsure so you ask, get told by majority YABU and you conclude that YANBU?

You never thought you were and you were never unsure. You wanted to own opinions validated. Nothing wrong with that either but at least say as much

Just a thought - but perhaps daddy should have taken the morning off work and either taken the car to the garage for ChrohnicallyHungry or looked after his poorly dd.

Nope, not deduced from the responses. I deduced from my response to the responses ie when posters put things like their child would be clingy and miserable, I thought 'well, I know my child and she would be bored and therefore miserable at the garage'. And the fact that I know my child is why IWNBU- what is right for one child isn't right for another. I did what I thought best for my child.

The impact if your daughter stayed with you: You'd have had to deal with a bored toddler at the mechanics.

The impact of sending your daughter to care: She spreads her germs among other children, possibly mine. He gets sick, which means I need to take a day off work. Thirty children miss out on aspects of their education because I'm not there. Repeat several times as everyone who doesn't want to deal with their child for the morning at the mechanics thinks it is ok to take their sick child to care.

YABmassivelyU.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Fri 30-May-14 10:52:11
Just a thought - but perhaps daddy should have taken the morning off work and either taken the car to the garage for ChrohnicallyHungry or looked after his poorly dd.

Ooops - apologies for misspelling your name, Crohnically.

YABU

Someone sent a child with a vomiting bug to DS nursery - it's half term and she is off, too.

He got it and passed it on to the rest of us. DH as always got over it in hours, but at 23 weeks pregnant and unable to eat, hydrate myself or lower my temperature with paracetamol (they come straight back up) I am now hauled up in a hospital bed on a drip.

I would probably do more than judge if you had mentioned that to me.