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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

672 replies

BauerTime · 28/05/2014 17:05

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

OP posts:
Deverethemuzzler · 30/05/2014 11:05

Ha ha. I remember watching in horror as he removed the gloves and produced the cruklok (or whatever the damn thing was called).
I think I was actually open mouthed.

The bloke was in his early 20s ffs!

LividofLondon · 30/05/2014 11:05

First date with a man off of Plenty of Fish. He was dressed in chinos, smart shoes, a shirt that hung outside his trousers, a sheepskin jacket...and a baseball cap. It just looked an odd combination but I tried to ignore it. What I couldn't ignore was how full on he was; he kept leaning over the table in the bar to try and snog me even though he knew I found PDAs embarrassing. I was actually blocking him with my hand against his chest and he still wouldn't stop! He kept his cap on the whole evening too and the first time he kissed me he bashed me hard in the face with the peak after which he just turned it round. He was 45. I refused a second date.

Another one night stand man was shagging me from behind and said, "all for you babe, all for you"! Thankfully the position meant he couldn't see me rolling my eyes and stifling a giggle. Prat. I snuck out of his place in the middle of the night while he slept and avoided him after that.

normalishdude · 30/05/2014 11:25

Oh yeah, I know blokes that have dumped women because of the excessive size of their flaps

Lweji · 30/05/2014 11:35

That's not what I asked...

Surely, there must be women who are too tight for average blokes. Or are we just too accommodating?

PoirotsMoustache · 30/05/2014 11:36

Well I guess at least he didn't shout his own name when he came! Grin

Lweji · 30/05/2014 11:37

Oh, or did you mean the bloke's penis?

God knows what flaps are...

Oh, flaps.
Does that affect men?

Lweji · 30/05/2014 11:38

Poirot, you don't know who the babe was...

FourForksAche · 30/05/2014 11:39

lweji I have heard of women being accused of being too slack, but not heard of anyone getting dumped for being too tight.

Lweji · 30/05/2014 11:41

Probably because you don't know men who are too well endowed, then. Grin

LividofLondon · 30/05/2014 11:41

"Called me by his dog's name by mistake."

Oh my god, LOL!Grin What were you doing at the time AnotherSpinningFuckingRainbow?

Glittery7 · 30/05/2014 11:42

He had really small, delicate, slender hands.

hoobypickypicky · 30/05/2014 11:42

He called his knob Shakey.

He referred to it in the third person, as in "Shakey wants you to touch him".

He wore a Winnie the Pooh watch and has his home office decorated with a Winnie the Pooh border. He didn't inherit it that way from the last owner, he went out, bought it and put it up on the wall.

He only has one ball.

It took for him to shout at me because I'd nearly - nearly scratched his precious poxy bottom of the range Three Series BMW before I realised what an utter tosspot he was and dumped him.

fridgepants · 30/05/2014 12:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

TattyDevine · 30/05/2014 13:04

I dumped someone who was obsessed with the word "penetration". It featured heavily during foreplay talk (which I'm not that big a fan of anyway) and then he'd say "can I PENETRATE you now? OOh I am PENETRATING you! Do you like being PENETRATED? etc etc Grin

JugglingFromHereToThere · 30/05/2014 13:08

That's a little bit creepy Tatty isn't it? Not surprised you decided he wasn't a keeper.

fridgepants · 30/05/2014 13:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the user's request.

allowme · 30/05/2014 13:13

Grabbed my hand and started sucking my fingers in public .Shudder.

Another one left his coat behind after the first date. In the pocket was a diary listing his many many previous convictions.

TattyDevine · 30/05/2014 16:41

Oh I forgot to mention that same bloke would yell "I want to fuck your c*nt" at the moment of climax. Eugh.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 30/05/2014 16:56

Ewwwww

darksideofthemooncup · 30/05/2014 16:59

one that kept saying he was going to 'ravage'.
and another that would refer to things as 'whatnots'
Just. No.

Monty27 · 30/05/2014 17:04

One that bought me a skirt as a Christmas present... from Woolworths!!! Shock

And it was fugly into the bargain.

We were about 14 Grin

mrscumberbatch · 30/05/2014 19:30

One that got his hair cut like mine and started wearing my clothes and makeup.

One that was actually still with his ex but hadnt thought to tell me.

One that had a micropenis. I feel bad because he was nice. But his family were all so close knit around him I felt like they all knew and were over protective.

One with too broad a Glaswegian accent.

One who bragged about how much better his job was compared to mine.

One who said I looked great for a fat bird.

A few that were a bit simpering and weedy.

One that would send me poems that were hugely disturbing.

Serial dater!

Roussette · 30/05/2014 19:35

MrsCumberbatch this is hilarious One that had a micropenis. I feel bad because he was nice. But his family were all so close knit around him I felt like they all knew and were over protective

I am just imagining meals round the dinner table!

Jux · 30/05/2014 19:42

My dh won't hand me anything. If I ask for something he'll just pick it up and put it down a bit nearer me. i can have my hand out ready for it and he will deliberately avoid placing it in my hand. I find it enormously annoying, especially as often I still can't reach what he's passed! Mind you, I haven't split up with him over it. But I might ...... Grin

Jux · 30/05/2014 19:54

I did split up with a bf for suggesting at a party that we go upstairs and 'canoodle'.

Another, who said my friend was more fuckable than I was (apparently he meant that she looked a dead cert but I didn't) - neither of us were, and indeed he didn't get the chance.

One because his favourite book was Ulysses.

One because he hated Ulysses (changeable, moi?).

One who had little dish things under every leg of every chair so they didn't spoil the carpet.

One very small dick. I'm afraid I didn't even try, just wandered out and left him. Smaller than my finger it was, and I have small hands.

One who eulogised about Thatcher. OK, that's not trivial.