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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

672 replies

BauerTime · 28/05/2014 17:05

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

OP posts:
LackaDAISYcal · 29/05/2014 22:17

micro penis here too. The BF, not me.

I had been warned about it by one of his friends (charming) when we first started seeing each other but I thought she was joking/trying to wind him and me up, and we didn't get down and dirty for a couple of months (he was separated and kept kids and girlfriends away from each other and had a high powered job meaning lots of early nights and travelling)

Anhoo, after what seemed like ages, we were all set, he cooked dinner, his flatmate had been sent packing for the night...and it was horrible. I couldn't feel a thing, had no idea of he was in me or not.

I used feeling like too much of a part time girlfriend as the excuse, but his friend who had warned me; she just knew the real reason Blush

Shame, as he was such a lovely man.

CruCru · 29/05/2014 22:23

Actually, that wasn't trivial but it wasn't his offence.

UterusUterusGhali · 29/05/2014 22:57

Wouldn't do it in his tractor.

I've never done it in a tractor, and they have springy seats!

INeverFinishAnythi · 29/05/2014 23:15

Found out his name was actually Dennis. Everyone called him Den which seemed quite cool and ridiculously I never made the connection that he was actually called Dennis until he said it. Killed it stone dead for me. It had been a few months too!

MrsWinnibago · 29/05/2014 23:37

He wore a bowler hat for our third date....teamed with a brown tie dyed t shirt. Shock

He was an "Avant Garde" film maker which goes some way to explaining the hat but not the habit of suddenly miming to rock songs in quiet pubs.

tumshieheid · 29/05/2014 23:57

He ate ice cream with a fork.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 30/05/2014 02:17

What's wrong with trying to stroke a squirrel?

Shock
Ludoole · 30/05/2014 03:16

One whirled his tongue around in my mouth like it was on a fast spin...Hmm
Another was lovely for a while, until I finally spent the night at his house and woke to find his marriage certificate and childrens birth certificates on the bedroom wall.... (wife-that I had NO knowledge of was at a hen night it turned out...)

Current fella eats funny-like a bulldog chewing a wasp-and I really think this is going to eat away at me....

CuttedUpPear · 30/05/2014 06:51

I am considering dumping DP for the use of the word 'supper' when talking about dinner.

We have been together for 6 years and it grates on me massively.

WIBU?

Roussette · 30/05/2014 07:58

MrsWinnebago I've nearly choked on my morning cuppa thanks to you! although the words bowler hat and avant garde do seem to go together

Sadly many moons ago I've had not only the micro penis (we started off as friends and ended up as friends, that's fine) but the floppy one too (not the same person - that would be too cruel!). It died a death every time any part of my anatomy got near it. Apparently it was my fault that I didn't excite him enough! He was toast.

Tex111 · 30/05/2014 08:35

Three different guys and all a million years ago in the 80s:

Drove an El Camino.

We would only go on dates to the cinema where he worked because he could see movies for free.

Would do no more than kiss me on the cheek because he was a Christian and being more physical would be a sin. Such a shame. He was lovely.

exWifebeginsat40 · 30/05/2014 08:50

  1. penis so small he apologised and cried afterwards.

  2. went on a date with someone who looked exactly my type online. in person he had no arse and i could smell his breath when he talked. got a friend to fake an emergency phone call so i could leave. he knew.

  3. kissed with his mouth WIDE open and sort of wiggled his tongue about. also drank lager at 8am. i stayed over at his one night and, on hearing a noise in the street, he pulled a handgun out from under the bed and when i asked what the fuck he was doing replied 'just making sure this is loaded'. also showed me an assault rifle he kept in the bedroom cupboard and kept hinting that he 'knew people'.

LuluJakey1 · 30/05/2014 08:59

Had very small penis with no girth and it kept going floppy.

I know it sounds shallow but we weren't really suited anyway and I didn't do it earlier because I didn't want him to think it was the penis because he had such a complex about it.

I just could not feel it!

But I told him it wasn't him it was me, I just 'wasn't ready for another relationship'. He didn't believe me.

costababe · 30/05/2014 09:14

I wonder what's happened to all the micropenis men?Sad

normalishdude · 30/05/2014 09:20

flippin 'eck. I mean, it's good to have standards...but....some of these are way beyond ridiculous.

thamrin · 30/05/2014 10:04

normalishman i think 95% of these reasons for dumping are totally acceptable as deal breakers... they may be trivial but the trivial grates after a while!!

horrible kisser, micropenis, inability to eat normally, height issues, bad breath, bad manners... eugh

liquidstatehasrisenagain · 30/05/2014 10:23

I married a man with a floppy penis. Fortunately I had learnt to be less shallow by then and after a few weeks everything worked perfectly. Grin

I remembered another. Really funny guy, chatty, until we got into bed then it was absolute silence no grunts, groans etc until he came and screamed 'woo hoo'. Too weird for me.

PoirotsMoustache · 30/05/2014 10:27

Kissing him was like being stabbed in the mouth with a pneumatic drill.

He couldn't read properly.

He bought me an iron instead of a Lady Gaga album because he saw it on my list of things I need and thought I'd prefer that to something fun.

Same guy

PoirotsMoustache · 30/05/2014 10:28

liquidstatehasrisenagain what was your reaction the first (only??) time he did that? I think I would have pissed myself laughing!

liquidstatehasrisenagain · 30/05/2014 10:44

Poirot I did fall off the bed laughing and sadly hit my head on a radiator. He couldn't see what the problem was Hmm.

lambbone · 30/05/2014 10:48

Dumped a guy because it turned out he had a crooklock (anyone else remember them? I am quite old). Ewww! It would have been like dating my great uncle.

luciferswench · 30/05/2014 10:51

Laughing along with some of these thankfully never experienced micro penis but had pencil penis instead that was different most definitely not for me though. Shame he was a nice guy i just could imagine being poked at with a pencil for the rest of my life.

One didnt make it past a week after seeing he had a permanently dripping nose made me want to boak when he tried coming in for a kiss.

A couple of enthusiastic kissers I want a bit of passion however I draw the line at being eaten alive.

Deverethemuzzler · 30/05/2014 10:57

lambbone omg you have just reminded me!
Driving Gloves Boy had a crooklock too!

That put the tin lid on it.

lambbone · 30/05/2014 11:03

Devere - wondered if he might!

Lweji · 30/05/2014 11:05

Wonders if any blokes out there complain about women with vaginas that are too tight or short.

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