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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL, dinner guest, out of date gift

65 replies

layla888 · 27/05/2014 13:38

I invited MIL and her sister for sunday dinner as it was bank holiday weekend etc. MIL didnt bring anything (which I think is rude as you should always bring a gesture flowers drink anything) but her sister gave us a bottle of bucks fizz that's 2 years past its end of life date. I know its full of sugar and prob ok still (is it??) But AIBU to be a little annoyed at this??? P.s. I dont think ive had bucks fizz since I was 12 one Christmas.

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 27/05/2014 13:40

She probably just grabbed it form the rack, forgetting that there might be a sell by date on it.
Just chuck it out, and remember it's the thought that counts...

CorusKate · 27/05/2014 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gobbynorthernbird · 27/05/2014 13:41

You expect a gift for cooking Sunday dinner for family? Or was it a proper dinner party?

CoffeeTea103 · 27/05/2014 13:42

Yabu, it was one dinner, do you really expect something? I always take something along, but if someone doesn't bring anything to mine I don't really care. I don't expect them too.

CoffeeTea103 · 27/05/2014 13:42

To

curiousgeorgie · 27/05/2014 13:42

When I invite my family for dinner I don't expect them to bring anything.

I'm sure they didn't realise it was out of date.

mommy2ash · 27/05/2014 13:43

i wouldn't bring a gift to dinner at a family members house. i doubt she did it on purpose. i wouldn't give it a second thought.

Original poster
layla888 · 27/05/2014 13:44

I was always told.to bring a gesture if somone has invited you round for dinner I think its just polite. We are not that close and see each other maybe twice a year. Not even a little something for the kid's.

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 27/05/2014 13:44

Hmm I wouldnt take or expect gifts from close family (or friends but they sometimes do).

I also wouldnt check the expiry date on anything.

In fact, YABU for not opening the Bucks and serving it there and then.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/05/2014 13:45

I think you're giving this too much thought.

I wouldn't expect a gift from MiL and her sister for Sunday lunch but at least she bought something.

Bin it if you're unsure.

DuckandCat · 27/05/2014 13:45

I'd never expect family to bring me a 'gift' for coming over for dinner.

They may sometimes bring a dish (dessert etc) but I would be offended if they didn't. I find that odd, but all families are different I guess.

It would also never occur to me that Bucks Fizz would have a 'use by' so I think YABU.

EduardoBarcelona · 27/05/2014 13:46

kids
fair enough - i think you are being a bit naff expecting it

GoEasyPudding · 27/05/2014 13:46

I worked for a company where the owners where also the on site managers.

Whenever these very senior, very well off owners came by with treats for the office - some nice chocs or cake or anything edible it was always out of date! Every single time, became quite the joke but only after we all got over being a teensy bit offended.

Offense at such things should pass like clouds across the sun....then best to just sit back and chortle at the meanies!

Beeyump · 27/05/2014 13:48

yabu to say 'you should always bring a gesture flowers drink anything'

Says who?? I mean, it's nice, it's polite, but to expect it? Just seems the wrong attitude somehow. Especially with close family.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 27/05/2014 13:49

If I took a gift round for my friends or family after inviting me for dinner, they'd laugh at me.

hellsbellsmelons · 27/05/2014 13:50

OMG this is weird.
I have family over to mine all the time and they wouldn't dream of turning up empty handed.
They always bring wine (and lots of it) and last time my mum and dad bought me flowers as well.
I cannot ever ever in my life, imagine turning up at anyones house for dinner without at least 2 bottles of wine!
Even if I am not drinking. I think it is odd not to bring anything.

gobbynorthernbird · 27/05/2014 13:51

It's ruder to expect a gift than it is not to take one.

Joolsy · 27/05/2014 13:52

Actually I'm with OP. I always take a bottle of something or a pudding if someone else is cooking for me, however close we are. And I think it's tight if others don't do the same. If it's just 1 guest, then fine, but generally it's a whole extra family I'm cooking for. To turn up emptyhanded is just tight.

HelenHen · 27/05/2014 13:53

Yabu... I hope your disdain wasn't evident! What's the real issue here? cos it seems like you're clutching at straws and desperate to find reasons not to like them!

Janethegirl · 27/05/2014 13:53

I'd take something when visiting relations I see that infrequently, so YANBU.

CorusKate · 27/05/2014 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
layla888 · 27/05/2014 13:54

Yeah I offered to open it but they refused and would rather drink my £15 wine. I dunno I just think its polite to bring something all my friends and my family do at dinners parties etc

OP posts:
CorusKate · 27/05/2014 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EduardoBarcelona · 27/05/2014 13:55

but, OP it doesn't really MATTER, does it? this?

Beeyump · 27/05/2014 13:55

Hmm. Maybe I was being a little harsh...I see that you only see each other around twice a year - in that case, I'd definitely bring something!

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