MIL, dinner guest, out of date gift

[layla888]

I invited MIL and her sister for sunday dinner as it was bank holiday weekend etc. MIL didnt bring anything (which I think is rude as you should always bring a gesture flowers drink anything) but her sister gave us a bottle of bucks fizz that's 2 years past its end of life date. I know its full of sugar and prob ok still (is it??) But AIBU to be a little annoyed at this??? P.s. I dont think ive had bucks fizz since I was 12 one Christmas.

I would also not go empty handed to a family Sunday lunch. We were all brought up the same and you can hear us clinking up the driveway.

I wouldn't think much of the out of days Bucks Fizz though, why were you even bothered enough to check?

Of course it's polite to take something to a dinner party. Sunday lunch with the family, not so much.

Op don't be petty and cheap over something that's so small.

I'm with op too. I grew up thinking it was just the norm to bring something. My parents always would, and people would when they came to my house for dinner parties, so I now do the same.

If OP saw these family members often, then maybe not. But she sees them twice a year. I'd expect a bottle of wine or a dish. I wouldn't be too fussed about the out of date bottle. She probably just grabbed it from the rack. I also wouldn't be too upset that the others didn't bring anything but I would find it odd too

Issue is more giving me out of date drink lol a bit strange mmmmm

I believe manners dictate that you do not open a bottle brought by a guest in case it is horrible or has gone off.

However, dinner parties and family meals are different and I wouldn't expect the same level of etiquette.

The Buck's Fizz was probably something she had on the shelf and thought you may like it. Unfortunate it was put of date. Te fact you don't like it is by the by - I get the impression you would have been offended by it as a gift even if it had been in date.

It sounds like you don't like them.

YABU to expect a gift. Yes its polite but not always necessary. I wouldn't take something to my parents or ILs, or my siblings if it was just dinner. Close friends id ask if i should bring anything and if they say no, i don't as it usually just means that whatever is brought ends up being wasted or shoved in a cupboard. If i say 'shall i bring a pudding' and they say yes then i will or if its more of a group thing or formal dinner party ill always insist on bringing something but i will ask what is needed not just rock up with a bottle of wine as in my group we don't generally drink it.

The out of date thing just means she grabbed it from a cupboard as she wanted to bring something and as you expect it then this should be adequate. If you are saying she should have brought something she bought specially then YABU.

That you expect something from your MIL in exchange for dinner is just odd IMO.

I was looking at the alcohol contnent and noticed the sell by date I didnt even think booze went off! I wasn't purposely looking for it!

I wouldn't go empty-handed to family, but it's not a regular occurance so more of an occasion when it does happen - and they would always bring something to ours.

With friends I would always, without exception, take something - that's very rude, not to.

Bin it.

Well done on the stealth boast of mentioning your wine was £15. Between that and expecting gifts you sound lovely

RiverTam yes thank you I think its rude not to also!

I always take something, even if it's just some biscuits or a cake but sometimes I forget and I never expect people to bring
Times are hard financially for lots of people

I always take something. I'm not offended if it doesn't get drunk - whoever is hosting has provided food and drink anyway.

^CorusKateTue 27-May-14 14:01:01
I can't think of the last time I checked the date on a bottle of drink.^

I didn't even know booze had best before dates!

I would assume it was an oversight and not think any more of it unless you have reason to think it was deliberate?

As for MIL not bringing a bottle, well this thread is pretty evenly split between people who would and wouldn't so again, unless you have reason to assue it was some kind of pointed comment, don't think any more about it.

I think some of these comments are a bit harsh. things like this are hugely subjective depending ok upbringing. As I said, I don't remember my parents ever going to a dinner party, family or friends, and not taking something. Same goes for guests at my house.

It's how I grew up so even at uni if a friend asked me round for dinner I would take some wine or beer or a dessert, and most of my friends automatically did the same. If the majority of OPs friends and family bring something then I don't blame her for thinking this is a bit off.

But again, the out of date wine is a non-issue. I've never thought to double check the SBD on a bottle

Unless she's done something like this before or you have some kind of hate relationship with her, I wouldn't give it a second thought. If I was really close, I'd tell them straight out it was out of date. Do you otherwise get on well with one another?

How often do you go to dinner and is it reciprocated?

For me, family dinners are frequent we're at each other's at least every other week so I would never expect to bring a drink or drinks to be brought. However if it was an occassion then I would...