My Dad stood as a UKIP candidate...

[curiousgeorgie]

He is Not a nice person.

We've been estranged for years, he was absolutely terrible to my mum in front of us, and continued to be violent to my older brother when we were made to visit him when my parents divorced.

Last year he decided that since I had 2 children he didn't know, he would take me to court for access to them. It cost us several thousand pounds but (obviously) he didn't win.

He's spread lies, reported us to social services for unfounded things, been threatening and repeatedly violent. Not just me, but also my mum, stepfather & siblings.

One of my friends sent me a link last night that he stood as a UKIP candidate for his area, I'm shocked that someone with such a history of violence and domestic abuse, absolutely no good character and no standing in the community could just stand??

I'm shocked to think that any party would accept him, given his criminal records and history?! Do they not vet these people?

I'm nervous to google and see if he actually won!

What HoneyDragon said.

Just reading the title of a thread and responding to that only is not reasonable!

Do anyone here want to admit to only reading headlines, and the titles of books, too?

Apologies - I could do that.

Goergie, hard as it might be, try to step away. It's horrible, it's just beneath the surface, and it's hard to live with. However, by contacting the party, you are very likely to simply walk into a place where people don't give a shit. Father dearest is adored among his circle. What I say can't possibly be true. Poor, poor man having to live with such an errant daughter. Perhaps I should listen to what my father says like a good little girl, and that way, he wouldn't have to get upset with me.

It's hard. Even now I'm an adult, that's fucking hard to deal with.

I've thought about sending letters in to the local press highlighting what a twat he really is. I've thought of sending replies to all his articles about how he can't possibly be racist, but I haven't.

Yes, one one level, people can see this as me letting him win, and how I have a responsibility to give the other side of the story.

Personally, I see this as protecting myself and my family. I've faced his anger and upset over and over. I've been silenced by other family members who'd much rather not see my words written in the press. They don't agree with his words either, but after 30 years, they've learned he can't be stopped so the rest of us should just be quiet and look away. I've had to field the disappointment they feel that I can't just let sleeping dogs lie.

I now have to protect myself from all of that.

That's why I go for the UKIP kill. If I can get people to see in a more general way the sorts of people they have standing as representatives, then I don't need to have the angry mass of my Dad turning up at my doorstep. I need to protect myself and my children from that.

Oh, and I had the same difficulties and same response when Dad stood for Labour. At least Labour finally saw him for what he was and closed ranks against him.

I think you're winning. You won the moment you decided to stop his sphere of influence fucking up your life and your families.

You win each day you don't think about him, because your life is what counts.

Thanks Honey.

You win each day you don't think about him, because your life is what counts.

My TL;DR answer should have said that really.

OP - it is not your responsibility to save the world from your father. It is not your job to do that. He's the fuck up - not you. The rest of the world can deal with it's own problems - you don't have to step into that role.

Actually, SomePercentage I was part of a group that collectively helped to expose a prospective labour councillor with a colourful history. It didn't stop her from standing, as there were no convictions, but she did end up mentioned in the Rotten Boroughs column in Private Eye and she didn't stick around for more.

Is there a name and shame type place for errant councillors?

Now that they have the Right to be Forgotten by google searches this is going to be a big problem.

its shocking they let him stand, they should vet people

UKIP will let anyone stand. I read a thread on another board which said that UKIP would have won far more seats if they'd had more candidates and that next time every supporter who is able should come forward to fill empty spaces. If he did win, console yourself with the fact that it's nothing to do with him, it's just people automatically voting for UKIP.