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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that all ex's stuff is STILL in my house

68 replies

92littlecat92 · 23/05/2014 14:35

Yet another issue - Sorry guys, I hope you don't all think I'm useless!

Short story: Ex left after cheating, six weeks ago. However he didn't plan very well and ALL his belongings are still in my home and he still has a key.

I have even packed all his things up to make it easy for us both and just want them OUT of my house. having a pile of his stuff all packed up in the corner of my front room is not exactly helping me to move on.

Not only that but for the last three Saturdays he has cancelled on coming to collect his stuff the night before (disrupting my weekend plans - eg. telling people I can't make it to things I could have gone to!) because its no longer convenient for him mum(his lift).

I have been very good and not destroyed any of his belongings.

WIBU to tell him he has 2 more weeks to get his stuff or I am giving it all to charity?

OP posts:
HavantGuard · 23/05/2014 14:37

How about charging storage if it's not gone this weekend?

eddielizzard · 23/05/2014 14:39

i would say come and get it this weekend - bank holiday so you've got plenty of time - pre-arrange time or it will be going to the dump. capiche?

and then dump it.

Shazam24 · 23/05/2014 14:40

Firstly change your locks,

Secondly, no.dont give him 2 weeks notice text him and tell him he needs to pick it up TODAY as its in your garden and is looking rather unsightly. 6 weeks is taking the piss, just get rid of it all today

WooWooOwl · 23/05/2014 14:40

Change the locks, and give him a deadline of when he needs to have his stuff gone by. Not at all unreasonable to tell him you need it gone by a certain date and after that you will be getting rid.

Forgettable · 23/05/2014 14:40

Is it possible, for ease, for you to arrange for it to be taken to his Mum's place? Obvs inconvenient for you but it would be GONE.

Wrt key, ask one more time for return then I think you ought to change the locks, yes an unneccessary expense but worth sucking up.

Sorry he is being a twat.

Forgettable · 23/05/2014 14:41

I must be a bit soft, you lot are NAILS

Sidge · 23/05/2014 14:41

2 weeks? You're softer than me.

I'd tell him he's got 72 hours to get it (or another arbitrary date/time) and then it's going out in the garden/into the charity bin. And do it.

And get your locks changed whilst you're at it.

Original poster
92littlecat92 · 23/05/2014 14:42

Forgettable - I would be happy to arrange myself but as he lives over 100 miles away it is too much to ask of any of my friends who can drive (I haven't learned yet)

I know it would get the stuff gone but tbh I feel I have already done more than whats fair by packing it all up for him!

OP posts:
WowOoo · 23/05/2014 14:43

Shazam24 sounds likes she's not to be messed with!

2 weeks is plenty of time to get his ass in gear. You are being extremely reasonable and nice about it. You need to repeat the info firmly and mean it. Good luck.

eddielizzard · 23/05/2014 14:43

if you were my friend i would do it for you. are you sure none of your friends would help you out? i know you don't want to put anyone out, but friends actually do like to help occasionally!

Forgettable · 23/05/2014 14:44

Oh right, yes never thougt about the distance!

Yes tell him come get it or you will dispose of by xx/yy/zz

NatashaBee · 23/05/2014 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gordyslovesheep · 23/05/2014 14:45

I still have 6 packing boxes of my ex's shit in my garage ...5 years on - I even moved it from the old house to this one

Dizzywhore · 23/05/2014 14:46

Bin it and tell him he had his chance! Or if your not as harsh as me give him one more chance then bin it if he doesn't turn up. He sounds like a twat your well shot of him! X

trashcanjunkie · 23/05/2014 14:46

I'd change the locks today and put his stuff outside your house and text him exactly that. I really would, and cannot bear this kind of piss taking.

HecatePropylaea · 23/05/2014 14:47

I think it would not be unreasonable to write to him, recorded delivery, email copy, saying that he has until X date (perhaps 14 days from the date of the letter) to remove his belongings otherwise you will dispose of them.

Or send them down with a courier arranged to pay on delivery, if you can find one that does that.

Forgettable · 23/05/2014 14:48

Oh GORDY

ipswichwitch · 23/05/2014 14:48

Ex did this. Kept claiming it was "too difficult" to come get it and face me even though he was the one who ended it
cheated

Informed him he had 2 days to come and get it or I would sell/give to charity/burn it. He still didn't turn up but sent his mate over for it! Twat.

Finola1step · 23/05/2014 14:49

Ultimatum time.

He gets the stuff by 6pm Sunday evening or they will disposed of on Monday.

Change the locks. He could easily have your key copied before he hands it back.

His mum probably doesn't want all his stuff in her place. Tough bananas.

CanaryYellow · 23/05/2014 14:49

I'd have binned it a couple of weeks ago.

But if you want to be generous, tell him that it's going out in the front garden tomorrow morning and if it is still there by the end of the bank holiday weekend it will be going to the tip.

BuzzardBird · 23/05/2014 14:49

I'm sorry but why are you still letting him walk all over you? I would text him now and tell him its in the front garden and he had better collect it today as the neighbourhood have started rifling through it. You owe him a big fat nothing! Change your locks yourself if possible to keep cost down and move onwards and upwards. Be good to yourself, not that useless fecker!

Finola1step · 23/05/2014 14:51

Gordy, please. Time to open those boxes, give stuff to charity shops. Chuck the rubbish. Why are you keeping them?

MostlyMama · 23/05/2014 14:51

Put it outside. Text him 'Your stuff is outside, might want to fetch it before it starts raining again'

He is taking the piss with you and he knows it. Don't put up with his shite. We are all behind you!

mummymeister · 23/05/2014 14:52

you have been really reasonable. making arrangements then cancelling is a classic control strategy. you need to refuse to play his games. give him notice by text, change the locks and put everything outside on the date and time. stop being so nice to him or he will keep taking the mickey. move his stuff out and then you can move on with your life. good luck.

BeCool · 23/05/2014 14:53
  1. Change your locks. It's not that expensive and you can change a YALE type barrel quite easily yourself. (see You Tube)
  1. He's totally dicking you around. You have been over accommodating - because you are probably a very nice human being. I would now tell him you are putting his stuff out the front of your home at X time on X date, say midday Sunday. And leave him to it. Tell him this as a statement of fact. Engage no further. Go out.

or put it out there NOW - as Shazam says - and text him a photo. And go out.

He is making this your ongoing problem - it shouldn't be.

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