To be angry that all ex's stuff is STILL in my house

[92littlecat92]

Yet another issue - Sorry guys, I hope you don't all think I'm useless!

Short story: Ex left after cheating, six weeks ago. However he didn't plan very well and ALL his belongings are still in my home and he still has a key.

I have even packed all his things up to make it easy for us both and just want them OUT of my house. having a pile of his stuff all packed up in the corner of my front room is not exactly helping me to move on.

Not only that but for the last three Saturdays he has cancelled on coming to collect his stuff the night before (disrupting my weekend plans - eg. telling people I can't make it to things I could have gone to!) because its no longer convenient for him mum(his lift).

I have been very good and not destroyed any of his belongings.

WIBU to tell him he has 2 more weeks to get his stuff or I am giving it all to charity?

You do realise that he has left it with you as a back up plan don't you? Uuurrrgh! I am angry for you!

Change the locks, put it his stuff on the curb, text him and tell him he better come get it today or you're going to post it on freecycle (or whatever the UK equivalent of freecycle is).

Put it outside. Text him 'Your stuff is outside, might want to fetch it before it starts raining again'

^^ this.

What everyone else says.

2 weeks is far too long to give him.

Outside. Now. Text or e mail... 'You should come and get your stuff, it's getting wet. Will take to tip on Sunday if it's still here. Don't worry about returning the key, I've changed the locks.'

It's really easy apparently to change your own locks and costs about £6 (saw a thread about it once'.)

This guy is really messing you about, isn't he? I've just seen your other thread.

When are you going to stop mothering him?

Give him one final date this weekend. Who cares if he cancels/cannot not make it? He has treated you like shit!

Take it all to the charity if it doesn't get picked up. No more second chances. Stop being a door mat!

Change the locks.

Give him a short deadline for collection. Leave his stuff on the lawn on the final day. Dispose of it after that.

Simples!

My dear husband left me for ow but forgot to take his four children and most of his belongings.
I asked him to collect bit for a year but he was too busy having fun with his new life while I brought up his children.
So one day as I was struggling to fit my clothes into one wardrobe I snapped and bagged it all up and took it to the charity shop.
He asked for a suit for a wedding a few months later.
How we laughed as I explained to him that I'd sent it all to the British Red Cross shop.

And yes change the bloody locks !!!!

ledkr

This happened to my mother.

She gave my dad 48 hours notice to collect and said that if he didn't come she'd post it all to him.

He didn't so she did. She sent his rubbish bin (still with rubbish in), his toothbrush, everything. She figured why should she have to shift and sort?

1. Change the locks today,
2. Dump his stuff outside ( hope it's raining where you are)

I lurk a lot on threads on mn and the number of decent rational people who get shafted, treated like shit and allow and enable it shocks me.

We should start a MN get a backbone thread.....(goes of to do that now).

He is controlling you.

It is one huge game to him. Fortunately it is very very easy to win.

Locks changed. Stuff on front garden getting wet. Text to him it goes to tip if not collected by Monday.

Simples.

While he still has a key he can pop round any time while you're not in and snoop or take things that don't belong to him. You need to change the BARREL of the lock and you should do it now. A replacement for most common types of lock can be bought at B&Q or similar for about fifteen quid or less and should take you about five minutes with a screwdriver. How do you fancy coming home one day and finding him sitting on your sofa and eating your food thinking you'll take him back?

If you haven't given him a deadline you should do this right away. He's had weeks now, so I'd say by tomorrow evening it should all be gone or you'll turf the lot out. And bloody-well do it! He's nothing to you now, so why would you care?

Text him, "collect stuff by monday or having a lawn sale to get rid of it."

You are under no obligation, legal or otherwise to house his shit.

Stop being so bloody nice and get tough.

Does he own half the house? If so, legally can you change the locks?

Stuff still there OP?

I've been there OP - with my XH. Whenever he did collect anything, it was only ever part of the stack of stuff. In the end I told him I was bringing the rest of his stuff round to him (it was only 5 miles away admittedly). Got a phone call en route - he was busy doing XYZ and was going to be late. My answer: your choice, but we made an arrangement, I'll leave it on the pavement if you're not there. He was there.

Change the locks now. Get a friend to help you out - I would certainly help a friend in your circumstances. Make arrangements in writing to meet him halfway given the distance. If he doesn't show, leave the stuff and email or text him a photo, "you weren't there so we've left your stuff".

This kind of messing people about really gets my goat.

My ex left boxes of stuff in the garage. I like a mug kept it. Then through his shenanigans taking most of my savings plus being made redundant (I partly blame him for this too) I ended up homeless. Despite extra warnings I either dumped or sold it as I considered it abandoned.

House is rented, but contract in my name only, stuff still bloody there!

I think I will ask a friend with a car to help me

No, listen. Listen.

You are allowed to say no to him.

He is presuming on your space.

Give him 48 hours to collect, then call Red Cross or similar.

Just get it gone, none of it is your problem.

It's allowed and nobody will think you are a bad person.

Don't drive it down to him, you don't owe him that time.

Why why why are you taking responsibility for this horrid person who doesn't give a shit about you???

Today is Tuesday - you could text him today to say stuff will be out the front at 3pm on Saturday. And going to charity on Sunday. Plenty of time for him to get his new GF or friend or family member to help him.

Stick it outside the front door and see which gets it first, thieves or the rain.

Do what I did and throw it outside and tell him to come get it. My ex picked it up later that day and he lived over 100 miles away with OW at that point.

I did cover it with a tarpaulin. My view is that if you want to cheat on your family don't except them to be accommodating with you moving out.

I changed the locks too.

I agree with the others on this thread - time to play hardball. Change the locks (change the barrel of the yale lock, as mentioned by pps). Then text him and tell him either he collects the stuff by sunday night, or on monday it will be going to the tip/the charity shop. And do it.