To think that my boss is being unreasonable?

[DancerChick]

Background- Been at the job for 5 months and have very strange boss.

Right, so there is a very senior person in the office that I get along with very well and he always seeks me out in case of an issue. I've had great feedback from this person and I really respect him.

There was an issue today which I brought to his attention and we worked together to resolve it. A video conference meeting has now been arranged with the relevant teams to try and work out how to avoid similar problems in the future. I was invited to it because I have been involved in resolving these issues, however, my boss wasn't sent an invite.

My boss is big on everything being brought to her notice at the end of the day and so I let her know about the issue and mentioned in passing that we had a video conference coming up to discuss it further and I would keep her posted with whatever was discussed.

She then basically invited herself to the conference.

She said that she "really should be in that conference" and that I need to "include her in these things".

Now I didn't set this conference up and it was not up to me to compel this senior person to invite anybody.

On her insistence I have now sent her an invite for the conference and she will not be a part of this meeting.

I don't think this was appropriate. I don't think she should have invited herself, I think she should have reached out to senior management and set up an invite after giving them her reasons for wanting to be a part of this.
I was also not comfortable forwarding an invite to her when I was not the host, but I had very little choice in the matter.

I am now in two minds about whether I should send this senior person a heads up about my manager being in the meeting or not. Even if I did send a heads up, what would I say? So sorry she invited herself, deal with it?!

To make matters worse she doesn't have the best communication skills or the highest level of business expertise. She often is repetitive and rude in meetings and asks very obvious questions. I am worried this will make it hard for the rest of us to come to a final solution and I am also concerned she may try to take credit for my work.

Any thoughts?

Business etiquette in this case would be

1. Inform your boss of the meeting (it's part of her job to know what you do, and how well you do it)
2. Ask if she thinks she needs to attend (shows openess and gives her the opportunity if required)
3. If she says yes, send a request to organiser asking to extend the invite to her. ' we think it would be useful if X was also included, can you extend an invitation to this' Copy her in. (The ball is now firmly in the organisers court and not your responsibility.)
4. If she doesn't attend, give her an update after.

Just to add my team do the above. 9 times put of 10 I ask them if I need to be there. If they say yes, I go, if they say no, I don't. But expect an update after.

But then I trust my teams judgment, and vice versa. We have worked together longer than. 5 months. It takes time.

Maybe she wants to be there because she's concerned about how you will act and feels the need to monitor you. Do you have a probationary period?

Gennz Did you actually write Who Touched Base in My Thought Shower? They are all in there!

Perhaps your boss thinks you're quite ambitious and might be after her job? Maybe she's right.....it's certainly the impression I got from your post.

Why bother asking if you have no intention of listening to anything anyone says to you? Don't come here for affirmation.
This is very similar to a poster from a few weeks ago who complained bitterly about office procedure, then responded by ignoring the immense amount of sensible advice and support she was given. Take heed of what people are saying; it is basic common sense.

I agree with the majority. It's entirely reasonable for your boss to want to attend a meeting that may impact on an area for which she has responsibility, and you probably should have asked initially if it was possible to include her. You sound a bit smug about your relationship with the more senior person, and your boss probably feels very undermined. It won't reflect well on you in the long term.

Haha weneed I'd actually never heard of it. Willing to bet that the author spent time at a the same multi national I worked at - it's like the Finishing School for Twattery Bizniss Jargon

Gennz

I should add though, that I am having a bit of lighthearted fun at the expense of management speak, but in fact I agree with every word that Lessonintightropes said at 23.07 last night.

To put it bluntly YABU.

Hmmm,

1. You've been there 5 months
2. You don't like your (female) boss
3. You have ingratiated yourself with a 'much more senior' male colleague
4. You are delighted to use this relationship to exclude, undermine and generally by-pass your line manager, who you clearly have no respect for.

If I was your boss I'd be looking to get you out the door too.

Maybe you should have reached out to her yourself and given her a heads up to ensure she was in the loop. shoots self

I haven't worked in the business sector for many years, but if I were your boss I'd be checking my back for knife marks.
You clearly don't like or respect her and you're flattered that the senior person bypasses her and comes directly to you (doesn't matter that it's your role to deal with whatever, if your boss is responsible for your workload it should go through her so she knows what is going on with her team).

My advice - don't piss her off, because you haven't worked there long enough to get away with it.

It sounds like you've mentally ditched your boss in favour of the far more senior bloke in the office. I don't see the big problem with getting your boss included in the conference. The way you talk about it, it's as though you're required to get her an invite to a wedding. Surely all you need to do is say to the organiser that your boss would also like to attend the meeting.

Just let the senior who involved you initially know that you have potential issues with your immediate superior and how can you best resolve it or whether it's something he needs to deal with.

Bear in mind that when you express misgivings about your boss's competence to the people above her in the organisation, explicitly or implicitly, you are also criticising them: you are implying that by hiring her/keeping her on, they have fucked up. Trying to show people that you're cleverer or more competent than her is not going to work out well for you.