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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect work to cover my child care costs?

219 replies

CatThiefKeith · 20/05/2014 14:55

Background is I work as a receptionist at weekends, but the weekday receptionist is having some health problems following a routine operation and I got a phone call this morning asking If I can cover her job for the next fortnight.

Dh works full time, plus 3/4 evenings in a different job, so the only way I could do so would be to employ a childminder or increase her days at preschool and use a childminder for the rest of the day ( it is only open mornings)

It is a minimum wage job, so I would effectively be working 14 days without a day off for less than £3 p/h.

Would I be massively unreasonable to say I will do it if they cover the childcare costs?

OP posts:
BrieAndChilli · 20/05/2014 16:56

Due to child care costs I work fri and sat nights so DH looks after the kids. It is not 'fortunate' it is crap
I can't change jobs as working 'normal' hours would then incur child are costs (if you already work mon- fri and already pay child care you have a much bigger selection of job types to switch to)
We have to turn down numerous invites to bbqs, impromptu camping trips, school events, nights out etc etc as I am working and DH looking after kids
I have to put up with the feeling of inadequacy working in a min wage job while others have proper careers

ChocolateWombat · 20/05/2014 17:04

They are asking you to do extra. You are entitled to say 'no' without giving a reason. However, you could say 'I would like to help out, but I will be financially out of pocket because of the child costs I would incur whilst working'
They will then either just accept it or offer to pay your childcare costs if they really want you to work. Before you have the conversation, be clear in your own mind about how much extra you will need, so you can give that figure if asked.

Of course, if you simply don't want to do it, say you can't because you do t have childcare for the period you don't usually work, which is perfectly true. They must know you have children and probably expect you to say no for this reason.

slithytove · 20/05/2014 17:04

Yep, when my maternity leave ends, I will need to find a job working at least 16 hours for minimum wage - I was hoping to work evenings and weekends so DH can watch the kids.

If I have to get childcare, I will need to find a job (or two!) working double the hours to afford it. So I will be one of the 'lucky' ones, rarely seeing DH in order that we can survive.

Fortunate my arse.

whatever5 · 20/05/2014 17:04

I would respond as I think now is that time to be firm and set a precedent i.e. if they want you to cover the job in emergencies outside your normal hours they will have to pay your childcare.

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 20/05/2014 17:06

In the past, when I have covered annual leave, I have had at least 4 weeks notice and my dm/mil have helped out, so that's where it's come from, but it is a nightmare, as he well knows, since they both live an hour away (in different directions)

My working hours are 9-6 so generally I have to take her there the night before, drive home, go to work next morning, pick her up straight from work and then get home around 8pm.

With petrol costs it is probably the same as paying a childminder!

OP posts:
atos35 · 20/05/2014 17:06

If they are really desperate then it is reasonable to ask them to either pay your childcare costs or a percentage of them at least. Why not see if they will pay you weekend rates for the weekday cover? If not just explain you cannot do it as it will not only leave you out of pocket financially but also will not benefit your family in anyway! At least if you offer to do it for extra money then you have showed willing, if they don't agree that's really not your problem.

ChocolateWombat · 20/05/2014 17:09

They are asking you to do extra. You are entitled to say 'no' without giving a reason. However, you could say 'I would like to help out, but I will be financially out of pocket because of the child costs I would incur whilst working'
They will then either just accept it or offer to pay your childcare costs if they really want you to work. Before you have the conversation, be clear in your own mind about how much extra you will need, so you can give that figure if asked.

Of course, if you simply don't want to do it, say you can't because you do t have childcare for the period you don't usually work, which is perfectly true. They must know you have children and probably expect you to say no for this reason.

HauntedNoddyCar · 20/05/2014 17:09

Respond with
No, not on this occasion.

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 20/05/2014 17:12

Weekend rate? That'll be my normal minimum wage then, since I work the weekends normally. Smile

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 20/05/2014 17:13

Shock at this
These are days you don't usually work, right? So ypu could be doinf anything else. You could be away.
and as for the casual assumption that female f a mily members are ready to jump in
Angry

MyDogEatsBalloons · 20/05/2014 17:13

Just answer back "no, that's not a possibility . I could look into a childminder, but you would then need to increase my hourly rate to £9ph. Please let me know if this is acceptable"

*or whatever.

Though it doesn't sound like you really want to do it anyway, in which case a simple "no" would be fine!

StealthPolarBear · 20/05/2014 17:15

And I wrk plenty of extra hours but it doesnt sound like they deserve it in the slightest

Rhine · 20/05/2014 17:23

"fuck off " would be my response.

Cheeky bastards!

LaurieFairyCake · 20/05/2014 17:26

I would reply that "my mother, father, mother in law and father in law work full time".

Can't believe male in laws don't get mentioned.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 20/05/2014 17:28

Expecting you to work 14 days straight without a day off is a piss-take of the first order anyway. After their response to your email I wouldn't engage with them further and leave them to their own devices. Employers with their attitude don't deserve to have any employees who give a monkey's because they patently don't

BerylStreep · 20/05/2014 17:38

Working 14 days in a row is in breach of the Working Time Directive anyway.

It isn't a bad idea responding with NoddyCar's suggestion of 'no, not on this occasion.'

You could also suggest that IF you are able to source childcare, it would cost £40 per day, and that if they are willing to meet this cost, you would be willing to do 3 of the extra days per week.

(Unreasonable to expect you to cover the whole 14 days, not only because of WTD, but because your poor DC wouldn't see you for that period, which is unfair on them if they are not used to it).

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 20/05/2014 18:01

I will wait until tomorrow to reply I think, but like the suggestion about paying the extra £40 and doing 3 days p/w.

Once dd starts school next September I have every intention of getting a full time job, this one really is just to keep my hand in and I wouldn't want to work for them f/t anyway.

Bloody cheeky bastards.

OP posts:
MaryWestmacott · 20/05/2014 18:05

I would reply a very simple "no, I have no family childcare available for those weeks."

MintyChops · 20/05/2014 18:13

They are cheeky bastards and sexist to boot. Just say no tomorrow and start the job hunt.

AuditAngel · 20/05/2014 18:13

CatTheifKeith if they are going to pay you a higher rate to cover your child care costs! remember to allow for the extra tax and NI you will have deducted before you receive your pay.

It is probably better if they refund your child are costs as suggested above.

I am also going to make one more comment, but first I would like to apologise in case my assumption offends you. Please consider the impact additional wages may have on any benefits you receive. I think that a refund of child care costs would also avoid this problem. (Sorry if I am wrongly assuming you claim benefits)

Original poster
CatThiefKeith · 20/05/2014 18:26

Audit Angel, the only benefit I receive is CB, so that won't be a problem fortunately.

I have replied.

"Dear Boss"

Family assisted childcare is not possible at this time.

I have looked into childminders and the cost would be approximately £40 per day.

As I am sure you understand, this means it is not financially viable for me to cover xxxx for two weeks. It is also unworkable as it would mean a shift pattern of 14 days straight.

I have given the matter some thought, and the only option I am able to offer is three days midweek if you are willing to cover my childcare costs.

I realise this is not something that the company usually offers, and will therefore not be at all offended if you would prefer to use an agency temp.

Kind regards

Keith

OP posts:
holidaysarenice · 20/05/2014 18:35

My only thought is to be careful of your contract. I have a friend who refused to cover holidays and she ended up in hot water as her contract had a clause that stated specifically that her hours could be changed or that holidays had to be covered.

onedev · 20/05/2014 19:40

Good response Keith. Hope they back off or agree with your suggestions.

EverythingCounts · 20/05/2014 19:45

That's a good reply and far more reasonable than they have been. Iwould start job hunting anyway mind. They are the kind of employers who are taking advantage in a tough job market, but who nobody actually wants to work for as you are just taken for granted.

Didactylos · 20/05/2014 19:47

What - he actually suggested that your mother or mother in law give up their time for free to provide childcare to benefit his company?
(also making the rather huge presumptions that they are alive, healthy, able to look after children, in the reasonable geographic vicinity, not already working or otherwise occupies and on speaking terms with you)

what is regarded as 'womens work' is so damn undervalued!