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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to put my DC in a playpen occasionally?

77 replies

LovingSpoonful · 20/05/2014 13:26

I thought I was normal but apparently I'm cruel...

DS is 10 months old. He is crawling and covers a lot of ground. Our house hasn't been childproofed (for example, we've not put cupboard door safety things put on, moved everything out of reach, or cushioned corners) - our attitude as much as possible is to try to teach about risks and what can/can't be touched rather than create a baby-friendly zone where everything is at least two feet off the ground.

When me or DP are free to play with DS he can roam all over the house under our supervision but there are times when we need to do something (cook, take washing upstairs, have a wee) so we bought a playpen to contain DS and keep him safe when we can't be standing over him. Sometimes he's only in there 5 minutes (wee), never more than 30 mins (preparing dinner). Some days he doesn't go in at all. He clearly prefers having more space to roll around on the floor but doesn't mind going in the playpen, never gets upset and is soon absorbed with whatever toys are in with him.

However, both sets of grandparents are horrified that we're 'caging' our baby and it's got to the point where I'm starting to doubt myself and wonder if we are doing something odd. I have asked them what I'm supposed to do, and they all claim that in 'their day' they just managed with a baby rolling under their feet. Do other people use playpens for this purpose? If IABU, can anyone suggest how to keep an active baby/toddler out of the way when you're doing things like carrying pans of boiling water around the kitchen?!

OP posts:

Trooperslane · 20/05/2014 13:27

They abu.

You're doing the right thing.

whatsagoodusername · 20/05/2014 13:31

Better to have a baby caged for 5 minutes while you're unable to attend to him than have him get into serious trouble.

I had a playpen for DS2 - mostly to keep him safe from DS1 if I needed to be away from them for anything. We also didn't especially babyproof the house - no stair gates, no cupboard locks.

They have survived and were not traumatised by the playpen. They quite liked it, really. I left the door open when not in use and they would wander in and out and play there regularly.

LaBelleDameSansPatience · 20/05/2014 13:33

I sooo wished my dd would accept her playpen without screaming ... she still had to go in sometimes, to be safe.

NigellasDealer · 20/05/2014 13:34

I bet 'in their day' far more people used playpens - seems like a good plan to me when you need a wee/ are frying chips etc.

wheresthelight · 20/05/2014 13:35

I have a travel cot as a play pen in twelve living room, dd is 9 months and desperately trying to walk so she goes in it whenever I need to do something outside of the room she is in. I also have one in the garden for her so I don't have to bring her I. To get a drink or pee etc

The grandparents are being very silly imo

Handsoff7 · 20/05/2014 13:35

Where did you find your playpen?

I've looked for one in a couple of shops and not seen one

Handsoff7 · 20/05/2014 13:36

and YANBU obviously!

Princesslucky1 · 20/05/2014 13:36

I think if it's for very short spells and baby seems happy enough then it's ok... I'm a childminder I've never used one but I've made the house as safe as possible.

Salazar · 20/05/2014 13:39

I got one when I found dd climbing up the chimney when I came back from the loo.

Great purchase.
No issues with anything that keeps a kid safe.

Fairylea · 20/05/2014 13:40

I had one from kiddicare. It was a big bright mesh thing for 50 quid and it was invaluable.

I don't know what on earth people have such an issue with them for. Better babies are safe and enclosed somewhere rather than roaming about getting into all types of mischief. It's not like anyone leaves them in there for hours on end.

Fairylea · 20/05/2014 13:40

*why not what

voodoochimp · 20/05/2014 13:40

My DD never needed a playpen.

She never touched anything she shouldn't, opened cupboards, pulled things of shelves or climbed on the furniture. we didn't have to babyproof. Not because of anything we did, it just didn't occur to her I think.

is this weird?

I suspect I'm not going to be so lucky with my 2nd one!

Andcake · 20/05/2014 13:41

Fine for very short spells - we used for the same reasons - but as it was just a large travel cot he was never in there more than 20 mins - for cooking he would be in the high chair with some toys

Summerblaze · 20/05/2014 13:41

I used a playpen with all 3 of mine.

DD loved it. She never wanted to come out. She would have all her toys in there and would be in there for up to a couple of hours sometimes. During this time I did all my housework which gave me more quality time with her once I was finished and she had finished playing in there.

DS1 and DS2 also used it but they only liked it for a short time so I only put them in when I needed to do something upstairs for a longer period of time. My living room was very baby proof anyway and had safety gates up. They couldn't get out of that room so going for a wee didn't mean I had to put them in the playpen. Like a pp, I also kept the door open when it wasn't in use and they wandered in a played in there lots. I also had occasions when the older ones locked themselves in so they could play with something without it getting broken by the younger ones.

DD is now 10 and it hasn't done her any harm at all. She is a very happy, sociable girl.

Don't listen to people saying it is cruel. It isn't and could potential save a disastrous accident with irons, hot water etc around.

LemonSquares · 20/05/2014 13:42

YANBU GP memories are very unreliable things IME.

I have to admit I didn't use it as much with first two as I thought but we baby proofed a lot - used bouncy seats round house more plus they wanted to be carried everywhere - but god send with 3rd as two toddlers and a baby need eyes everywhere and sometimes needed safe place.

Handsoff7 - we had this one few years ago lasted 3 DC

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/1574690.htm

wigglesrock · 20/05/2014 13:43

I used a travel cot as one - it worked out really well. Mainly for the toilet & was very handy when dd2 was born.

Leeds2 · 20/05/2014 13:43

I used to put DD in a travel cot, which we used as a playpen. Invaluable.

diddl · 20/05/2014 13:43

I used one for mine.

Handy in the garden as well when you want to read a book

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 20/05/2014 13:44

The parents are either lying, misremembering the past or mad. Playpens have been in common usage since I was a nipper fifty-odd years ago and probably for decades before that. If it wasn't a play-pen they would be left outside in their prams or push-chairs to get some fresh air. There's nothing wrong with ensuring your child is safe if you need to get on with things in another part of the house unless you want to have the child strapped to you in a papoose every waking moment. Carry on as you are and ignore them. You know best

Purpleroxy · 20/05/2014 13:47

A playpen is great to keep babies safe. When my dd was a baby and laid flat looking up at those arches with toys dangling off, I put her and the whole lot in a big playpen as I had a clumsy 2yo toddling about and I didn't want him falling on her. He also used it when he was younger to keep him safe whilst I did essential stuff. Both of them had a load of nice toys in the playpen and when dd was 1yo and ds was 3yo, he used to climb in with her and the pair of them would play very happily. I remember visiting children wanting to go in the playpen and their parents recoiling in horror. I had a 3yo here with the mum and the 3yo started waking through the open playpen door. The mum pulled the 3yo out as she was so horrified that her dd should ever enter a playpen . By them it was no different to a den. If I hadn't sold it years ago on eBay I reckon my 6yo and 8yo would hang blankets over it and hide in it still.

MrsRuffdiamond · 20/05/2014 13:47

I'm sure playpens were used a lot more, years ago, than they are now. I don't quite know why they seem to be less common these days.

I tried to use one, but maybe left it too late as all of my dc did great (and heartrending) impressions of wrongly convicted prisoners rattling the bars of their cell whenever I put them in!

I think they're very useful, as you can safely have them one end of the kitchen, or just by the door, so that dc can see you while you're cooking. Lots of parents use highchairs for the same purpose, don't they? So at least in a playpen dc can move around. If your ds is quite happy in the playpen, I would carry on using it. I'm sure he'll let you know when he outgrows it.

Surely the gp can see how much safer it is for him to be in his own little play area, than crawling around, tripping you up, and ending up with something being dropped on him?

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 20/05/2014 13:48

It's odd, because I thought playpens were much more common for that generation, I actually don't know anyone who uses one now.

But Yanbu if your baby is happy enough in it. My dds would have HATED it, so I never bothered.

MrsRuffdiamond · 20/05/2014 13:49

Forgot to say YANBU!

Ploppy16 · 20/05/2014 13:50

Gp's are wrong. This is a baby cage!

to want to put my DC in a playpen occasionally?

PenelopeChipShop · 20/05/2014 13:50

If I've learned anything about babies since having mine (only 22mo still!) it's that if they seem happy, they are happy! If your LO doesn't mind the play pen and is safe there then why on earth change what you're doing?

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