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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to put my DC in a playpen occasionally?

77 replies

LovingSpoonful · 20/05/2014 13:26

I thought I was normal but apparently I'm cruel...

DS is 10 months old. He is crawling and covers a lot of ground. Our house hasn't been childproofed (for example, we've not put cupboard door safety things put on, moved everything out of reach, or cushioned corners) - our attitude as much as possible is to try to teach about risks and what can/can't be touched rather than create a baby-friendly zone where everything is at least two feet off the ground.

When me or DP are free to play with DS he can roam all over the house under our supervision but there are times when we need to do something (cook, take washing upstairs, have a wee) so we bought a playpen to contain DS and keep him safe when we can't be standing over him. Sometimes he's only in there 5 minutes (wee), never more than 30 mins (preparing dinner). Some days he doesn't go in at all. He clearly prefers having more space to roll around on the floor but doesn't mind going in the playpen, never gets upset and is soon absorbed with whatever toys are in with him.

However, both sets of grandparents are horrified that we're 'caging' our baby and it's got to the point where I'm starting to doubt myself and wonder if we are doing something odd. I have asked them what I'm supposed to do, and they all claim that in 'their day' they just managed with a baby rolling under their feet. Do other people use playpens for this purpose? If IABU, can anyone suggest how to keep an active baby/toddler out of the way when you're doing things like carrying pans of boiling water around the kitchen?!

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/05/2014 16:06

I'm confused, are you also storing Gary glitter or a lion in the playpen?

Original poster
LovingSpoonful · 20/05/2014 17:37

I might as well be NeedsAsock! I think it's probably a symptom of the way they unconditionally worship and adore their grandchildren and couldn't bear to think of them being left alone or ignored for a second - this compared with the way their own children (ie. us) were left to bake in boiling hot cigarette smoke filled cars with only a can of lighter fuel to play with.

OP posts:
Lurleene · 20/05/2014 17:45

DS loved his cage and would try and climb in it all the time....

Binkybix · 20/05/2014 17:46

I've just invested in one and got the same reaction from GP. I love the playpen! DS moans for a second then starts playing very happily.

Christelle2207 · 20/05/2014 17:47

Just got one for my 9mo.

frumpypigskin · 20/05/2014 17:47

I've got three children and have never used one. My first were twins and I thought a playpen would really come in handy. I then realised that as soon as the twins had some independent movement it would end up being a confined fight club so I didn't bother.

I used stairgates and closed the doors of rooms I didn't want the babies in but otherwise they were quite free to roam. They only came in the kitchen if I was in there and had their own 'plastic' cupboard that they could empty and play with whilst I was busy preparing meals. Otherwise they went in highchairs and I gave them things to play with, sang to them, chatted etc etc.

I think if it works for you and your child is happy then I wouldn't worry what people think. If you would prefer not to use one there are ways around it. Personally I didn't feel quite right about it but can't even verbalise why not, so probably not a particularly sensible reason.

Loobiya · 20/05/2014 18:06

YANBU

I put DS in a travel cot for the exact same reasons listed.

thebodylovesspring · 20/05/2014 18:13

Tell them to stop being ridiculous.

I was a cm and it was invaluable for making sure babies were safe and crucially safe from the toddlers if I was going to the loo or fetching something.

Also great for the garden so they are under shade, can play and are safe from putting flowers in their mouths.

Honestly some people are just daft or have forgotten.

Much better safe than sorry.

LongTailedTit · 20/05/2014 18:22

Ah OP, in contrast, my DM harangues me to get a playpen. I can see it would be v useful and would actually live to have one, but have no room for one, and no room to store it when not in use either! Still DM won't accept the as an excuse and is always on at me with "Well, if you had a playpen...". Apparently they are magic devices that miraculously convert any child placed within into compliant angels able to amuse themselves for hours on end. I'm led to believe DSis and I practically lived in ours.
I just close the stairgate when I want a wee or take the DC to the bathroom with me. Would rather have a playpen tho.

BMW6 · 20/05/2014 18:41

Many many months ago a Mum on here posted that she couldn't do any housework cos she was holding / playing with her small child all the time.

I suggested she use a playpen (like my Mum did, and for generations before her) and my suggestion was met with outrage that I was proposing putting her baby in a cage.....Hmm

ViviPru · 20/05/2014 18:47

As a casual observer, I feel as though playpens, like reins, have come full circle; widely used, then frowned upon, now considered an acceptable option to ensure sanity safety. I suspect lots of these GPs aghast at the idea were paying attention during the frowned-upon era.

pilates · 20/05/2014 18:48

Def Not, an essential bit of equipment IMO.

ilovevenice · 20/05/2014 18:50

It's ridiculous - no-one minds cots though they are just as much cages as play pens. Or do they?

thebodylovesspring · 20/05/2014 18:52

Reins save lives. Not all kids need them but some most definatly do.

TA here who is mightily fed up of helping look for wandered off toddlers who invariable have gone back along the busy road to parents car.

Same parents and same children every time.

Absolutely unforgivable neglectful parenting IMO.

My dss needed them or they would have been run over. Dds didn't.

harriet247 · 20/05/2014 18:57

Yanbu, dd ia in hera for around 5-10 mins at a time. When I need to wee/answer door/make phonecall etc etc. My great aunt thinks it is cruel :/

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 20/05/2014 19:09

We had a lovely big one, it was fantastic. With twins I would put the quieter one in to play with a few toys and she could get on with that without her sister climbing all over her.

She now (aged 18) says that she can remember being in there and loved it, feeling "safe and comfy" as she puts it.

The other twin wasn't so keen, but was sometimes parked in there while I dealt with the other one - nappy change or whatever.

It's not a cage, it's just another useful piece of baby equipment which some parents will find useful and some won't feel the need for.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/05/2014 19:09

It's just occures to me that I'm sat in a fuck off giant playpen,granted I have a radio and a book and my iPad but giant playpen it is.

I have a open plan downstairs and when I need the karzi I put the baby one side of the bars and the hurricane the other,this is because the hurricane is very keen on loving the baby usually very tightly and by the head and I'm pretty sure death by cuddles or heads being pulled off is genrally frowned apon.

I'm pretty sure I'm not traumatised

PleaseJustShootMeNow · 20/05/2014 20:07

Depends. I didn't use one with DD or stairgates, doors locks, reins or anything as they weren't needed. DS is a whole other kettle of fish. We have the whole kit, playpen, gates on every door, everything that can be moved or screwed down and he still manages to find ways to take years off my life.

Boaty · 20/05/2014 20:07

I had a playpen for DC 20 odd years ago...invaluable! and DM didn't call round unexpectedly one day to find me sat in it reading the paper for five minutes peace and quiet, Oh no!
Grin
OP - Ignore them!

Slongette · 20/05/2014 20:18

I just got a second hand one from eBay - DS is only 6 months, but already rolls along way!

I've also got 2 dogs so it's as much for their safety as his!

WanderingTrolley1 · 20/05/2014 20:29

YANBU.

Keeps baby safe if you're busy.

DC3 is 15 months and I wouldn't be without mine - especially now I have a 13 week old. I make sure there's a few books and toys (and maybe CBeebies within viewing distance) and he's happy!

Pixel · 20/05/2014 22:03

Phew! I was a bit worried when I clicked on this that I'd be the only one saying playpens are brilliant Smile. We had a lovely big wooden one, both dcs loved it in there with their toys and books.

Mum used a similar one when my sis and I were small so that she knew we were safe if she had to go outside for coal or something. However my sister still (46 yrs later) has a nasty scar on her arm from toddling into the kitchen and tipping boiling gravy over herself. It could have been much worse. My mum couldn't understand how she'd got out of the playpen, turned out one of the grandparents had taken her out because they felt sorry for her. Not much changes really does it.

Don't listen to the Grandparents, yanbu!

ArtFine · 20/05/2014 22:14

I've used the cot as a play pen a few times. At least the cot came to some use!

KitCat26 · 20/05/2014 22:42

GPs often have a very rose tinted view of their own child rearing ime.

The concept of play pens has been about for ages, my grandma fondly tells me of the time when she secured a spare cot side on top of my dad's cot as a lid to stop him escaping!

Use your play pen without guilt and enjoy having a wee, etc, in peace Grin.

ChickenMe · 21/05/2014 12:09

I love playpens. We had a beautiful wooden one when my brother and I were little. It was huge - I wish my mum had kept it.

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