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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to put my DC in a playpen occasionally?

77 replies

LovingSpoonful · 20/05/2014 13:26

I thought I was normal but apparently I'm cruel...

DS is 10 months old. He is crawling and covers a lot of ground. Our house hasn't been childproofed (for example, we've not put cupboard door safety things put on, moved everything out of reach, or cushioned corners) - our attitude as much as possible is to try to teach about risks and what can/can't be touched rather than create a baby-friendly zone where everything is at least two feet off the ground.

When me or DP are free to play with DS he can roam all over the house under our supervision but there are times when we need to do something (cook, take washing upstairs, have a wee) so we bought a playpen to contain DS and keep him safe when we can't be standing over him. Sometimes he's only in there 5 minutes (wee), never more than 30 mins (preparing dinner). Some days he doesn't go in at all. He clearly prefers having more space to roll around on the floor but doesn't mind going in the playpen, never gets upset and is soon absorbed with whatever toys are in with him.

However, both sets of grandparents are horrified that we're 'caging' our baby and it's got to the point where I'm starting to doubt myself and wonder if we are doing something odd. I have asked them what I'm supposed to do, and they all claim that in 'their day' they just managed with a baby rolling under their feet. Do other people use playpens for this purpose? If IABU, can anyone suggest how to keep an active baby/toddler out of the way when you're doing things like carrying pans of boiling water around the kitchen?!

OP posts:

Foxy800 · 20/05/2014 13:50

We used a travel cot as a playpen occasionally when my dd was a baby 8 years ago. It was never for long and she was happy.And above all she was safe.

Lanabelle · 20/05/2014 13:53

Playpen all the way - complete lifesavers. mind you - some adults could do with caging too.

hagarthorne · 20/05/2014 13:55

I had a big old fashioned wooden one with bars just like a cage. They used to make it into a cave with a blanket over it. Used it for answering door, ironing, cooking etc. Also put the Christmas tree in it one year. It was brilliant.
I used reins as well for dc2. Hence the fact that she is still alive.
Of course you are not being unreasonable!

RiverTam · 20/05/2014 13:57

I think there's nothing wrong with playpens, especially as your DC obviously likes it, but equally I think you're being a little bit U if you're refusing to childproof your house at all. We did a bit on ours, cupboard doors things, though not much, and it is handy just knowing that there is no way DD could have got into the bleach cupboard, for example, or where the wine glasses are - just because you are teaching him doesn't mean that it's not worth it. And not having a childproof house is a PITA when other children are over!

Summerblaze · 20/05/2014 14:06

Im actually not altogether sure how you would manage to get anything done with a baby around if you didnt have a playpen or a childproof house. When do these people vacuum or clean the bathroom. Do they just sit with their babies all day. Genuine question especially if you have more than 1 child.

Ploppy16 · 20/05/2014 14:09

I never had a playpen, no room and not enough money to spend on extras.
Cleaning etc got done around the baby, hoovering they went in a high chair or chased the Hoover around the room for 10 minutes same went for cooking tea or anything else needing my full attention. You gt used to doing it.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/05/2014 14:13

Yanbu if your lo does not mind the playpen, it's a lifesaver. My dd would stay there whilst I did the housework, but ds hated it unfortunately, he was so active, so needed it more.

liquidstatehasrisenagain · 20/05/2014 14:13

I haven't given birth yet but one of the first things I bought was a large wooden playpen. We have a dog so it will provide a barrier (although I fully expect some of you to go on about it not being enough protection). Plus leave me free to nip upstairs to the loo, answer the door etc.

sillylily · 20/05/2014 14:29

Yanbu, very sensible idea for short periods. I would still recommend a few child-proofing precautions too because however attentive you are, you are only human and it only takes a few seconds for toddlers to get into all sorts of pickles. I speak from experience - I recall one day as I momentarily turned my back to collect the post from the doormat, my DD managed to undo the zip of a beanbag and empty polystyrene beads all over the floor. If you have ever tried to sweep them, you will know how they get more and more static until you, floor, child and everything within sight is covered. No harm done that time but I learnt a lesson.

Original poster

LovingSpoonful · 20/05/2014 14:36

So pleased to know I'm not the only evil jailer! Thanks for the comments. I'm still perplexed as to how anyone manages without some kind of baby container. I don't like sitting DS in a highchair for long periods of time and any bouncy seat is in danger of tipping now he's so strong and wriggly. Is there a secret 'other way' I'm not in on?!

Handsoff7 - I bought my playpen secondhand on ebay but it's much like the Argos one someone helpfully posted a link to.

RiverTam - I do keep things that are obviously and immediately dangerous like bleach, knives and potentially poisonous plants out of reach, but I don't want to turn my house into a padded cell with every sharp corner blunted and every book, DVD and saucepan stored up high so DS can't reach it (like some of my friends' houses) - that's what I meant by not babyproofing.

OP posts:

Lemongrab · 20/05/2014 14:37

I used a playpen for both of mine when they were babies for all the same reasons you do. They were perfectly happy in there with some toys and are not scarred for life because of it!
Thankfully, many things are very different to the way they were 'in their day', so I would just politely tell the GPs to butt out because it's absolutely none of their business.

merrymouse · 20/05/2014 14:38

I thought playpens used to be more rather than less common?

We had a playpen for DS. By the time DD was born the house was better childproofed so if I was in the kitchen I used a stair gate across the door and she stayed on the other side.

Anybody who claims they never had to barricade a mobile baby from getting into a particular part of the house either has a short memory or had a very docile baby. Perhaps the grandparents just made more use of the highchair or other restraining devices?

TheScience · 20/05/2014 14:47

Playpens used to be much more common when I was a child.

We never needed one when DS1 was a baby - had stairgates on the kitchen and stairs, but other than that there wasn't really anything dangerous around.

ShadowFall · 20/05/2014 14:47

YANBU.

We also use a playpen for DS2 (8 mths) when cooking / going to toilet etc to make sure he can't get himself into trouble. And also to protect DS2 from an overly excitable toddler DS1.

Original poster

LovingSpoonful · 20/05/2014 14:50

Having digested the comments on here I now suspect have always suspected the grandparents' criticism about the playpen is just another inexplicable dig to be stored away with 'poor mite must be freezing - it's 78 degrees and he's only got two layers on', 'in my day babies were eating sausages by ten weeks' and 'there's nothing wrong with leaving him in the pram in the garden while you have a sleep'. Sometimes I think they are contrary for the sake of it. But that's another discussion altogether!

OP posts:

NancyinCali · 20/05/2014 14:53

I didn't use one for dd1 but I have gated off the kitchen as it's not safe to have her in there under my feet when cooking. Planning to use one for dd2 though to keep her away from tiny toys (and so dd1 doesn't try to poke her/pick her up!).

PrincessBabyCat · 20/05/2014 14:56

Yes well in their day they were also walking to school in the snow with bare feet uphill both ways. :)

IfNotNowThenWhen · 20/05/2014 15:03

I lived in a tiny cottage with ds when he was a baby, so just a living room witha small kitchen off to one side, but open, not walled off, so I had a playpen. It took up the entire living room floor, so he had just as much space, other than he couldn't climb on the sofa. I got in it too quite often.
He loved it, and learned to walk in it by launching himself from one side and staggering across to the other.
I used reins too, but I reckon most people who snoot at reins have cars and rarely actually walk anywhere of great distance with a toddler.

mummylin2495 · 20/05/2014 15:06

One of my friends had twin boys and she made a huge do-nut out of two continental quilts.the sides were quite high So the babies sat in it and it kept them both in one place. Of course once they could crawl it wasnt so helpful. But they played quite happily in there. She sewed them together. I used a playpen for mine and that was years ago.

LillianGish · 20/05/2014 15:06

Playpens are brilliant - if your dc is happy in there then what is the problem? I even managed to persuade a baby- wearing, attachment parenting friend of mine to take my old one off my hands after she'd spent a weekend at my house and realised how amazing life could be when she didn't have to take her dd with her every time she went to the loo. I'd take your ds to grandparents' houses and let him rampage unhindered just to make the point (hopefully they have lots of little knick knacks, books, CDs and preferably lots of fragile items within his grasp).

TitsCrossed · 20/05/2014 15:20

We used the travel cot filled with balls. Ds loved his mini ball pool and I loved peeing in peace. Nowt wrong with play pens!

MissMarplesBloomers · 20/05/2014 15:34

We had one years ago when my two DD's (now late teens ) were small.

The only corner it could go in meant they couldn't see me if at the sink. So one day I put babe & pen on our big kitchen table & she loved it. She could see me while playing with her toys & I could keep up the chatter with her, or visitors could sit & talk to her for a bit while I finished doing chores & then get her out for a cuddle. Hours of fun lobbing things out at mum!

The HV was a bit when she called in one day, but it worked for us!

NotYouNaanBread · 20/05/2014 15:38

We got a gorgeous wooden one from Babydan - it's a fab lightly distressed off white and remarkably sophisticated-looking for a piece of baby kit! It's in the storage unit now - must put it on ebay this weekend.

Deverethemuzzler · 20/05/2014 15:45

We have always used them.
My favourite is the baby dan or the cheaper Lindam version.

Nothing abusive about keeping your child safe.

We used to call ours 'The Cage' though, because it amused us

aquashiv · 20/05/2014 15:51

I used one with my twins. We have a dog I couldn't risk their safety plus I had another tiddler to look after.

A pen is great I'm sure you have it filled with stimulating toys for a bit of focused play or star ING into space.
Ofcourse you are right get used to parent ING advice from so called experts

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