Husband won't discuss

[Princesslucky1]

We have a child through donor sperm, before we had treatment we had to go to counselling to discuss any issues, one of them being should we tell child or not. We could not make a decision so decided we would talk about this in the future now child is almost 3 and I've tried to talk to my husband about should we tell or not... He said no we should not tell, I'm in between minds but would like to as least discuss it further. Donor can never be found and no information will ever be given to us or child. Its so confusing I hate secrets but what's the point in telling?

Completely agree with Maryz and Kewcumber. I told dd when she was a baby so it was a story that I built on in age appropriate ways and there was never a bombshell moment. Yes, there have been questions and because her donor is someone we know (a friend of mine) it has been interesting at times. That's a whole different discussion but anyway this far from dominates her or our lives. She has a family that she lives with 100 % of the time, she is in no way confused about who her family is. However, it has proved to be extremely important to her to understand where she came from which I think is how most people would feel.

I think, as others have said, if you don't tell then it DOES become huge. There really is no getting round it so better to just do it asap.