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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not know whether to move to tunbridge wells or west Sussex?

87 replies

Mixedupmind · 18/05/2014 16:07

We want to move from Surrey, I use Surrey loosely as we are bordering London before my eldest starts school next year
We are renting and would like them to have their own rooms which currently they don't and we couldn't afford them too, a nice garden and a nice school.
The roman catholic school we would get living here is lovely but the secondary feeder school is near enough in Croydon which worries me.
Just would like a village lifestyle without having to drive as we don't want the extra outlay
My husband does drive so no problem for town trips / visiting family
Kent seems lovely but secondary schools are mainly grammar?
West sussex seems nice apart from Bognor apparently
Any advice?

OP posts:
BalloonSlayer · 18/05/2014 16:15

Secondary schools are not "mainly grammar" in Kent - they have the grammar school system so that if your DCs pass the 11+ they go to a grammar, and if they don't . . .

Whereas West Sussex has comprehensives.

You need to come down for the day and drive about. FWIW proper village-y villages come with massive house prices. Less pretty-pretty villages are more affordable. This applies to Tunbridge wells and West Sussex.

Nancy66 · 18/05/2014 16:38

is commuting an issue?
Somewhere like Horsham gives you a good and quick train line into London.

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 18/05/2014 16:39

What happens if they don't!??
I'm more familiar with west Sussex as we have family there however they live in Bognor and advise us not to move there!

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 18/05/2014 16:41

We are in Worthing, we like it here.

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 18/05/2014 16:48

We don't need to commute at all
Husband will drive to work so I just need to be able to walk the kids to school / have a shop / park / soft play maybe to keep the youngest busy
Horsham we Looked at but the houses were small for our budget which kind of defeats the object of moving

OP posts:
ComposHat · 18/05/2014 16:48

the secondary feeder school is near enough in Croydon which worries me.

What is so worrying about Croydon?

Feminine · 18/05/2014 16:51

Isn't this the 3rd thread you've made about this? Aren't you in a place that starts with a C?

Apologies if not. :)

I think you need to visit the areas. Maybe read the local newspaper in your chosen spots? Get a feel for it.

I have done that in the past, it has helped quite a bit.

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 18/05/2014 16:56

Croydon was always rough when I was growing up and I doubt it's changed that much.
I can't find my other threads now but thought people who lived in the areas may be able to give me a heads up

OP posts:
ComposHat · 18/05/2014 17:08

Blimey, me and you have very different conceptions of rough if you think Croydon is rough!

Feminine · 18/05/2014 17:10

mixed you do know that some posters live in Croydon don't you?

Like I said you need to visit those places you like.

Opinions aren't that helpful when choosing a place to live. Wink

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 18/05/2014 17:21

Of course some people live there and are happy, I wouldn't be happy raising my children there.
Just as some people wouldn't want to live in the country or beside the sea!

OP posts:
ComposHat · 18/05/2014 17:24

I still fail to see what the problem is, no one is asking you to move to Croydon or even send your kids to a school in Croydon, the school is 'near' Croydon. So if your children never have to set foot in the dread Croydon, what is the problem?

GermanGirlinLondon · 18/05/2014 17:28

May I ask where about you are in Surrey/London borders?

joanofarchitrave · 18/05/2014 17:29

I think the grammar/secondary modern versus comprehensive issue is quite an important one to address - at least to work out whether you care which system your children would be in, or whether you think either could work well for them.

I quite understand not wanting your children to grow up in the same area you did, I feel a bit the same myself (I grew up near Tunbridge Wells in a village Grin) All I would say from the point of view of a teenager in the same area is think BUS ROUTES. And bear in mind that going to a gig in Brixton Academy and getting home the same night requires your children to leave the gig at about 9.50pm [not bitter at all]

Melonbreath · 18/05/2014 17:47

If you don't like Croydon avoid Crawley. Actually avoid it anyway. Ex was a teacher there, the kids gave him a nervous breakdown.
And the secondary school in Burgess Hill is rubbish.

Lewes is lovely, but I think that's East Sussex.

catgirl1976 · 18/05/2014 17:54

DH is from Tunbridge Wells.

We considered moving there at one point, but personally I really didn't like it. Loads of people seem to love it though so maybe it's just me.

There are some stunning villages outside TW though and the countryside is amazing

Thymeout · 18/05/2014 18:28

Yes - what's happened to Croydon? Up until relatively recently, the worst you could say about it was....boring. Now I keep reading threads where it's talked about as if it were Beirut.

Granted I only ever venture there for IKEA, but could anyone explain why it's got such a bad name and which areas I should avoid?

OP - Kent school system is OK if you're sure your kids would get into Grammar. If not, it's a secondary modern - look at the threads in Education on moving to a grammar school area.

Objection · 18/05/2014 18:38

YABU

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 18/05/2014 20:34

Thanks for the replies
I've heard Kent has good secondary's even if not grammar
Is this not the case?

OP posts:
spottydolphin · 18/05/2014 20:41

nothing wrong with Croydon. Or Crawley.

unless you're ridiculously snobbish about where you live. in which case I guess you'd want to avoid them

GlassCaseofEmotion · 18/05/2014 20:56

Having lived in both places I can say that Crawley makes Croydon look clean and friendly; and Crawley is awful. Horshamites are terrified of their town getting too close to Crawley's borders.
Horsham is expensive and has a lovely, quaint town centre but the shopping isn't great unless you need a coffee or an estate agent. It's also expanding rapidly at all sides with new housing springing up but not enough accompanying resources so the excellent comps will soon be even more oversubscribed.
The smaller surrounding villages like Mannings Heath or Warnham are very beautiful and again pricey but you do get more for your money. Chichester is on the up I think but do avoid Broadbridge Heath, Crawley and Bewbush. West Sussex people will judge :)

SaucyJack · 18/05/2014 21:28

I live on the West Sussex coast. It's a pretty good place to live as we have the beach and the countryside, but we're also ten minutes out of Brighton for when we want decent pubs/shops and cultural stuff.

It's not villagey tho, and certainly not the place to move to for cheaper housing.

teaandthorazine · 18/05/2014 21:42

Blimey, I've read so many disparaging comments about poor old Croydon on MN recently that I'm beginning to feel the same way about the damn place as you do when someone slags off your irritating family members, eg: 'I can say that but you bloody well can't!' Grin

Just out of interest, OP, what is the name of the 'secondary feeder school near enough in Croydon'?

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 18/05/2014 21:47

Im in Carshalton and the feeder school is st John fisher in purley.
That's the only boys catholic school within Sutton borough.
St phils is the girls which is in Carshalton
I haven't heard anything good about Crawley so won't be looking there and Horsham is expensive
Chichester we looked at but again expensive and town like with Bognor Regis being very nearby and apparently a dump
Kent I'm unfamiliar with however have friends in tunbridge wells / tonbridge who would never bring children up in Sutton compared to kent so I'm at a total loss

OP posts:
teaandthorazine · 18/05/2014 21:54

Kent I'm unfamiliar with however have friends in tunbridge wells / tonbridge who would never bring children up in Sutton compared to kent so I'm at a total loss

Nothing worse than champagne tastes on a white lightning budget, hey OP?