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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To not know whether to move to tunbridge wells or west Sussex?

87 replies

Mixedupmind · 18/05/2014 16:07

We want to move from Surrey, I use Surrey loosely as we are bordering London before my eldest starts school next year
We are renting and would like them to have their own rooms which currently they don't and we couldn't afford them too, a nice garden and a nice school.
The roman catholic school we would get living here is lovely but the secondary feeder school is near enough in Croydon which worries me.
Just would like a village lifestyle without having to drive as we don't want the extra outlay
My husband does drive so no problem for town trips / visiting family
Kent seems lovely but secondary schools are mainly grammar?
West sussex seems nice apart from Bognor apparently
Any advice?

OP posts:
ElleMcFearsome · 19/05/2014 08:33

puzzle has beautifully articulated what I was thinking Thanks

Icelollycraving · 19/05/2014 08:42

I am from TW,I now live in West Sussex. I have lived in SE London & someone on mn was saying it was a dump. Lots of people agreed. It actually made me feel a bit upset. It's where my home was. Yes,it wasn't great & I'm glad to not be there but it hit a nerve. Immigrants? Chavs?! Oh my,why not look where Ukip are strongly supported & go there.

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 19/05/2014 08:47

I said this is what I've been told is bad about Crawley, not that I think it's a bad thing, I haven't been there in years.
Lots of my husbands work friends live there and are always complaining that Crawley is now like living in Poland, this isn't a concern of mine, I was just saying that's what I've heard about it.
Bognor too, although again this isn't my concern, my concern is that the secondaries dont do very well apparently?
I'm not sure why people are replying if they're bored of my threads, you do realise you don't have to?
Thanks to the people who have replied trying to help

OP posts:
DorisAllTheDay · 19/05/2014 09:09

Latest OFSTED report for the Regis School. It's a newish school and looks to be pretty good - my DDs went to its predecessor which didn't have a great reputation but they did perfectly well there.

MNHQ
AmyMumsnet · 19/05/2014 11:08

Hi OP,

Why not post your question on the local Mumsnet sites? You'll get some good insider knowledge over there.

Feminine · 19/05/2014 11:08

Your threads don't exactly warm posters to you. I feel like it is hard work communicating with you. Even if you don't think/feel these things about 'chavs' 'polish' etc... why bother typing it?

Your replies are very weak to boot!

Why haven't you gone to visit these places you want to move to? Get in your car( next day your DH has off )and explore!

It is the first thing on the list.

Oh yeah YABU Grin

JingletsJangletsYellowBanglets · 19/05/2014 11:32

"...., this isn't a concern of mine, I was just saying that's what I've heard about it. "

I think posters are offended because you were just saying that's what negative things you've heard about it to make you not want to move there.

Saying "lots of immigrants" is not the same as saying you're concerned that the schools in the area are overwhelmed trying to support a multi-cultural student body who are not proficient in english and as a result, they're overstretched and failing to meet other basic criteria.

That would be a concern to any parent.

teaandthorazine · 19/05/2014 11:41

You know OP, I live in a great place with lovely primary schools, a good feeder secondary, a village atmosphere, beautiful green spaces, safe and quiet. My friends live in large houses, shop in Waitrose and indulge in other achingly middle-class pursuits. Our children speak and behave beautifully (well, when they're not mowing each other down on the rugby pitch, that is) and have so far managed to avoid either class As or arrest. You'd love it.

It's within a ten minute bus ride of central Croydon, though, so maybe not, eh? Hmm

candycoatedwaterdrops · 19/05/2014 11:43

People do try to help you but you don't always listen or if you do, you don't seem to absorb the info.

ComposHat · 19/05/2014 12:04

I can't see what you want op. I can understand asking these sorts of questions if you were living the other end of the country or were moving from abroad, but you are on the doorstep.

Why not get on a bus or train and have a look? Now the weather is nice it will be a good day trip out for you and the children.

teaandthorazine · 19/05/2014 12:37

Actually, having read the OPs multiple other threads on this subject, I'm beginning to think this is a wind-up.

You say on another thread that you are terrified of your children going to school near Croydon. Terrified? Of being 'close to' Croydon? Really? I really think you need to get yourself a grip.

You live on a very small island, OP. Unless you are planning to restrict your children's lives to a vanishingly small area and personally vet every single person they ever come into contact with, you need to stop being so ridiculously small-minded.

Even in the Pantiles, undesirables may lurk, you know...

waterlego6064 · 19/05/2014 17:38

Lots of my husbands work friends live there and are always complaining that Crawley is now like living in Poland

See, this puts me off living in Crawley.

Not the Polish residents, the OP's husband's friends. Grin

BalloonSlayer · 19/05/2014 18:10

complaining that Crawley is now like living in Poland

Surely the only way they can make that statement without being atrocious twats is if they themselves have lived in Poland? So I am not sure what they are complaining about. Confused

AllAboveBroad · 19/05/2014 18:17

Only if this husband has been to Poland and experienced a terrible "Crew night" in a thankfully now closed Bar Med can he make such a comparison

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 19/05/2014 20:57

It isn't my husband, it's his colleagues.
As I said we've never been to Crawley within the last 10 years so I have no idea.
As for the multiple threads etc, please don't feel you have to respond to them, you don't have to, you can move into another thread quite easily.
Thankyou for those who have replied, I'm just confused as you can all probably tell

OP posts:
waterlego6064 · 19/05/2014 21:59

What I don't get, OP, is that you say that 'chavs' and immigrants is not a problem for you, but is what others have reported as being 'bad' about the area. If it's not a problem for you, then why do these opinions matter?

If those reviews of the area are not relevant to you, then why did you mention them here?

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 19/05/2014 22:18

They're not relevant or irrelevant as I have no idea what the areas are actually like.
I was hoping for more level headed views on the areas rather than small minded views from colleagues that aren't important.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mixedupmind · 19/05/2014 22:18

They're not relevant or irrelevant as I have no idea what the areas are actually like.
I was hoping for more level headed views on the areas rather than small minded views from colleagues that aren't important.

OP posts:
LadyWithLapdog · 19/05/2014 23:25

Small minded views but you still thought fit to air them on here. You could broaden your mind by actually visiting the places. It should be pretty easy from Carshalton. Which is a nice place, BTW.

ComposHat · 19/05/2014 23:30

What on earth is stopping you visiting these places op?

Queenofknickers · 19/05/2014 23:37

Consider East Sussex - pretty villages, train routes to London and some really good schools

Original poster
Mixedupmind · 20/05/2014 08:05

We will be visiting these places next week to have a proper look around; I just wondered if anyone has any advice before then that's all
Thanks for the tip re east Sussex, we will look into that!

OP posts:
LadyWithLapdog · 20/05/2014 08:15

Advice is to keep an open mind.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife · 20/05/2014 08:22

Consider rusthall, 30 minute walk or 10 minute bus ride into Central tunbridge wells. Reasonable house prices when compared with the rest of t wells, (not compared to the rest of the country!), lovely village centre, couple of local primary schools depending on which part you live in. Huge park, and a couple of little ones. Feels quite rural with woods and common land all around.

In terms of secondary schools, sounds like the grammar/not grammar thing might not be an issue if you're after a catholic school? St Gregory's is a catholic school in t wells, or bennet memorial if you're after c of e.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife · 20/05/2014 08:23

It's not a hugely pretty village centre by the way, but has everything you need and more, and has a great feel. There's a few toddler groups too, and a children's centre.