To please, please ask for your positive stories of people getting well having been on HDU/ intensive care

[grobagsforever]

DP was admitted last week and moved to HDU last night. They don't know what's wrong. He has fluid on belly, some kind of infection and impiared liver function. There is talk of moving him ti ICU. We seem to be waiting on endless tests. He is 35 we have a three year old and I am 7 months pregnant. I need him . Please tell me your positive stories of recovery from these situations.

Whilst I sympathise with a need to receive reassurance I think this thread perfectly illustrates why asking for other's experiences can be counter-productive. Other people's experience can never tell you what will happen to you and there is so much inconsistency in people's accounts of their treatment that you just end up confused. The reason for that of course is that individual patients have individual courses of illness. There is clearly quite a lot of hurt on this thread now which is very unfortunate.
Quite honestly it is simply incredible to me that the OP is now more than a week on from when her story started with us and she has been repeatedly given dire prognostic information without specific diagnostic information to support that. I know that sometimes you cannot determine a primary site but the OP's husband is a young man with a presumably previously excellent performance status. You would have thought he would be a good candidate for at the very least some active palliative treatment. He has been kept for a week on ICU then had transfer delayed due to beds. No treatment plan appears to have been communicated or commenced and the OP is thrown back on asking strangers to support her spirits. Now she is sleeping on chairs and helping him to the loo. Is this really what cancer care in 2014 looks like? Not to mention that these unfortunate people evidently signed a DNR in a blur. It's absolutely shocking and we do nobody any favours by glossing over that.
I know some posters feel questions should not be asked but I'm sorry I think the Op is past that now. Given the care she is describing she needs to be empowered and supported to move on. That's more useful than any experience that can be described.

Except, Mrsmaturin, she's said she's happy with the care her dh is receiving. She's happy. No use in projecting based on our own experiences.

It's difficult to know how much is Grobags' interpretation/comprehension or if the care being offered is kindly (antenatal scan/marriage/open visiting)but there is no plan of action because it does seem contradictory.

What is happening about your dh's nutrition/building him up so that chemo more likely to be tolerated Grobags?

When a family member was in ICU/HDU in France (accident at sea, helicoptered there)we were lucky that immediate family could fly over to provide support for him & each other; you need someone else to give you some respite/be with you when treatment plan is discussed.

Would they consider that? Having the baby come early so dh could meet him? (slithytove's post a page or so back)

When is the baby due grobags? You must be exhausted and getting so little real rest.

Report them anyway

Crystal, that's awful. Report them, you have to.

Crystal, I know you are hurting but please take it straight to HQ.

whoever read crystal posts and decided that they needed to send nasty PMs needs to look at themselves and their motives

I think there are a few people on here who need to do that.

Pretty mean to bash crystal who's only been trying to help, and who's had a very rough time herself . That kind of behaviour also derails the thread, and it's really important for gro that that doesn't happen.

Hello

We've (again) had a bunch of reports about this one so we're going to suspend the thread for a bit while we work out what's going on - please bear with us (and don't start a new one please)

Thanks

Crystal you do not have to put up with nasty pms just report them love.

Hello

OK we've had a good dig and re-opened this now.

We appreciate the support and care that lots of posters are extending to the OP and we wish her and her DP all the best.

Just for complete clarity, we have no reason at all to think the OP isn't on the level and we can't see any sock-puppeting taking place on the thread. (A couple of posters have namechanged during the course of the thread but we can't see any intent to mislead.)

Crystal we've had a look at your incoming PMs (including the ones that have been deleted) and can't honestly see anything out of the ordinary - certainly nothing that we would see as breaking Talk Guidelines. Do please get in touch with us off-board if you think we're missing something. We're very sorry to hear about your dad and we hope you're being well looked after.

And thank goodness for that.

As to why anyone would think the op wasn't on a level

Grobags hope your dh nausea has improved today and that you've got some answers at the review. And that all the shite that has happened today won't stop the support you've obviously found here xxx

Crystal have an un Mumsnet hug x

Big hugs to Crystal and OP.

And thank goodness for that.

As to why anyone would think the op wasn't on a level

Grobags hope your dh nausea has improved today and that you've got some answers at the review. And that all the shite that has happened today won't stop the support you've obviously found here xxx

Crystal have an un Mumsnet hug x

yellow

As to why some people would think OP wasn't on the level?
Well, maybe that's because different people have different opinions?

No one has suggested on this thread that the OP isn't genuine. No one has done anything other than support her.

There's no point posting little faces cos not everyone agrees with you.

So grobag, does your DH have a diagnosis? Have you heard from his parents? How is your DD?

God, I'd give everything I have not to be on the level! But I am. DH hasn't been sick at all today which is wonderful. He's having anorher healing/meditation now and looks very peaceful and relaxed. We will hopefully have a targeted plan fir getting home soon where hw can get the rest he needs and get strong and defy the doctors. I am aiming to go home and sleep tonight and be there when DD wakes up in the morning.

I'm truly sorry for those who recieved less flexible visting hours etc than we have. I thibk the staff have all been very shocked by DH's highly unusual presentation, rapid decline and previous excellent health. They've probably also been swayed by my massive bump and ourbICU wedding. It's a fucking ridiculous story but it's all true.

So do you have a diagnosis? Oh and trust me as a helathcare professional your bump makes no difference.
Professional care is offered regardless.
Excellent that your dh has made it from itu and is heading home so rapidly.
pity that it seems that you are still left in the dark.
best wishes.

Very glad to hear you have had a calmer day and DH's symptoms have improved.

Really hope you all get home soon and he becomes stronger.

And that you have a cuddle with your daughter and get some rest tonight.

The hospital sound like they have tried to be very flexible. They were with me when my mum was terminally ill in January- they never asked me to leave when she was most poorly and never made me stick to visiting hours.

Try and get some sleep tonight and I hope DH improves enough to have some treatment soon.

Grobag, do you know what his diagnosis is? It's highly negligent of them to let him go home without a diagnosis. You mentioned he's on a gastro ward now, maybe one of the nurses could read his notes and explain them to you?