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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel like everyone has stolen my news

102 replies

Aylish1993 · 15/05/2014 20:49

Just that really as soon as I found I was pregnant I got to tell my mum and pils and that was it because family told family as they do, now my so called 'friend' has just announced it on fb when I was waiting 3 weeks till our baby was born so I could put a picture on. Probably being over dramatic but is it so much to ask that I want to tell people MY news?

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 16/05/2014 10:12

YABU and a teenager.

It's know.

CoteDAzur · 16/05/2014 10:13

Your friend is also BU and a teenager, so feel free to delete her, though.

Original poster

Aylish1993 · 16/05/2014 10:15

Look I just came on to ask if I was over reacting I didn't ask for all these insults, I am young but I'm not a teenager and I don't think you need to judge me on my age in any case.

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 16/05/2014 10:18

Maybe you should think about how exactly we know you are very young.

It is not your age that is being criticised.

eurochick · 16/05/2014 10:20

YANBU. It's your news to announce as you wish.

I'm pg at the moment and after several years of infertility and losing my last pregnancy, I don't feel comfortable talking about it and certainly don't want loads of pregnancy-related attention and queries about how things are going. I haven't put anything on FB about it (and so far neither has anyone else). I'll put an announcement up if and when the baby arrives safely.

I'm 38, btw, and only have people I like as FB friends, so it's nothing to do with age or the type of people I have on FB. Your reasons are different to mine, but whatever your reasons it is your news to announce (or not) as you wish).

Original poster

Aylish1993 · 16/05/2014 10:24

Why would I be bothered that people think I'm young? I am. I just don't appreciate you using it as an insult. I have a fair bit of life experience, it's just I am still annoyed by immature things such as this.

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 16/05/2014 10:26

Good luck with your pregnancy, eurochick.

The unreasonable part imho is where she says she only wants family and close friends to no know. OP is due in 3 weeks so her pregnancy must be very difficult to miss in RL for any stranger who passes her by in the street.

You clearly have a reason not to want to talk about your pregnancy and are being cautious due to past experiences. OP is being precious, and it sounds like her "friend" has had enough of this preciousness. OP is pissed off because the "friend" stole her prima donna moment of glory in the spotlight. Both look rather juvenile from where I'm sitting.

redskyatnight · 16/05/2014 10:29

No one will think they are meant to keep your pregnancy a secret if you are 37 weeks pregnant. You have had loads of time to tell everyone!!

Delibarately planning to not tell anyone you are pregnant and then miraculously appearing with a baby is just weird.

MorrisZapp · 16/05/2014 10:35

Have you planned some kind of attention coup on FB by suddenly producing a baby? That seems a bit odd.

If this is your first then I guess there's the usual sharp learning curve ahead, where the minutiae and like count on fb stop being important once the baby arrives.

We all go through it. I bought fancy toiletries so I could pamper myself in hospital post birth. I had nooooo idea.

Original poster

Aylish1993 · 16/05/2014 10:40

It's not a secret I just don't see why she has felt then need to tell everyone when she knew full well I didn't want a 'Facebook' baby. Congrats eurochick. When my baby is here and is fine then I wouldn't have had a problem but when you have a midwife that feels the need to see you every week and make out like you and your baby is in danger all the time because your over weight, you have protein in your wee, your bp is to high, the baby isn't moving enough, your not measuring right. To name a few of things, it puts you on edge and if anything did happen I don't want the whole world knowing I don't see why that's so wrong?

OP posts:

Andanotherthing123 · 16/05/2014 10:40

I'd be pleased people were excited that I was expecting a baby and were interested enough to bother to discuss it on fb. That said, I don't bother with fb and threads like these make me glad that's the case. Just concentrate on you and your baby OP - this is a magical time, please don't let fb randoms take that away.

CoteDAzur · 16/05/2014 10:41

Morris

I took a silk dressing gown to the hospital, thinking I wouldn't want to be walking around in pyjamas. It somehow didn't seem to matter after I spent hours spread-eagled with my fanjo in full view of any old doctor who wandered into the delivery room.

Sparklingbrook · 16/05/2014 10:43

Aylish I don't think people should announce other people's news on FB. If you had nothing on your page especially.

It is your news.

Hope all goes well with the baby.

vitaprod · 16/05/2014 10:46

At 37 weeks it isn't news at all. Easy perhaps for somebody to let slip at that stage I should think.

Yabu

And why do you have people you don't like on Facebook? The mind boggles

MorrisZapp · 16/05/2014 10:52

I was v happy wandering about in pants and milk stained three day old t-shirt in front of sundry visiting husbands. The cleaning woman politely asked me to make myself decent!

so I flashed my mangled minge at her

kinsorange · 16/05/2014 11:08

I find it very odd that you have grown up with technology, and yet dont understand how Facedbook etc works. Essentially it is gossip. The exchange of information, primarily by the young - ie our age.

Do you expect to control Facebook and other people?

kinsorange · 16/05/2014 11:09

Meant your not our

grocklebox · 16/05/2014 11:13

good fucking lord are you being unreasonable. If this is your biggest problem at this stage , why don't you focus on just how bloody lucky you are and chill out about fucking facebook.
Anyone with eyes can see you are pregnant, you dont have any news to steal.

grocklebox · 16/05/2014 11:14

and its know, not no.

Original poster

Aylish1993 · 16/05/2014 11:22

I asked if I was BU not if my spellings are correct.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 16/05/2014 11:30

Blimey grockle. Give her a break.

BumpNGrind · 16/05/2014 11:31

OP good luck with your pregnancy I hope it is ok. I don't think your friend was unreasonable to post about your pregnancy when you are this far gone. If it were before your 12 week scan I would say differently but this isn't news now.

slithytove · 16/05/2014 11:32

I would temporarily delete your fb account so you don't run the risk of anyone announcing the birth on your behalf, it sounds like its a real possibility.

This is what I'll be doing. Also like last time I will only be telling our parents that baby is here safe until we are ready for the world to know.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 16/05/2014 11:32

Tbh think you did amazingly not having the news erupt in nearly nine months. At least you had the pregnancy pretty much to yourself. Shame your friend grabbed the moment. If you are 100s of miles from home hope you have local support, take care.

CheeryName · 16/05/2014 11:35

YANBU - its your news for you to share. Good luck with the rest of pregnancy and birth and just try and focus on how you will feel announcing your lovely news in a few weeks.

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