Am I being unreasonable to want my doctor to apologise to me?

[tennor]

To cut a long story short my life is falling apart at the moment, I need to sort out work (retrain) and somewhere to live among other things. I’ve been suffering depression and went to the doctor A who referred me to my borough’s psychological services. I spoke to them on the phone and they have made an appointment for me, however they said they were worried about my mental state and asked me to make another appointment at the doctors (I guess for anti depressants). The morning of my appointment I found out that a friend of mine had died. Another Doctor, Doctor B, looked at my letter from Psychological therapies and said “well I don’t know what they expect me to do” she asked me about my mental state too, I replied that I feel stressed and angry. She told me “I know what you’re doing you’re putting this on to bump your way up the housing ladder” – however I am not even on the “housing ladder”. Taken aback by this comment I said I’m stressed out, my friend has died and asked if she could prescribe me some Valium. No she replied, I asked if she would prescribe just 1 pill, she said “I don’t give people like you valium”. I said I think that she is not a nice person and she showed me the door.

I walked out on to the street totally stressed out, muscles cramping. I tried to go home yet found myself walking up and down the road. After about 30 minutes I went back to see Dr B, I knocked on her door, she opened it and said she was busy, I said ok i will wait. She then walked past me and around the corner and that was the last time a saw her. Two minutes later the receptionist came around and asked me to leave, I told her I just want to see Dr B to get some Valium, she told me the doctor doesn’t want to see you and this surgery doesn’t prescribe Valium. She said If I had a problem, write a complaint.

I went back outside pacing up and down and decided I would write a complaint letter, I went home and wrote the letter which included the facebook address of my dead friend and my post to him which I had left that morning before going to the doctors. I went back to the doctors with my letter, I wanted her to go on line and look at it so she could see that I was not making this up.

I was asked to wait in reception and she would see me, 20 minutes later the police walked in and told me that she has made a complaint about me being aggressive and that she is not going to see me. The police had the new video and audio cameras recording everything that went on, I have to say they were the nicest police I have ever met, If they didn’t have the video cameras I would have certainly have been arrested. I told them im not leaving so arrest me but they defused the situation and I left peacefully with an appointment to see a different doctor.
However I am still angry at the way Dr B treated me, and her outright lie to the police about me being aggressive. I asked the receptionist if she had ever seen me be aggressive and she replied no.
i want to add that I have never had valium prescribed to me before or any other drug for that matter from my doctors and that I hardly ever visit the doctor. i want to book an appointment with her so she can read my compliant letter and visit my dead friends facebook page and apologise to me. Am I being unreasonable to the cow?

Because they might well be found dead before they go and register anywhere.

I don't think it's that posters can't see that actually macdoodle but the op sounds desperate and personally, regardless of what has/hasn't happened it sounds like she needs immediate support

Regardless of the finer details of the OPs story what is highlited and is very much a massive issue in primary care right now is how people with mental health issues are accessing and navigating specialist support through primary care providers. It is of high national concern and debate just now and GPs with any once of commitment to professional development should be making their own professional commitment to challenge this and sadly that does not happen. It is only too common seeking help for mental health is stigmatised and misinterpreted as substance misusing behaviour, attention seeking and willfully treating and manipulative behaviour.

And if you recall, I have already offered strong opinion on the drug-seeking behaviour, but whatever that is, there's a person in severe distress to consider.

I would say if anyone has let the op down it was psychological services - if they were so concerned THEY should have given her an immediate appointment with someone suitably trained not just took the "go to your GP" cop out.

It lost some of my post
Personally I feel the discussion around the op' s behaviour is unhelpful when she in distress

Your last post places the blame on the patient for that breakdown in theraputic relationship. It worries me that you are unable to take a more critical approach to how the GP could have implemented better positive regard and understanding of self in this. The relationship broke down in my opinion when the GP used mag animalising and judgemental language. Such as people like you, assuming the Patient was seeking free drugs and a bump up the housing list.

I think if I'm correct based on how services work in my area, the psychological service is one which offers low and high intensity therapy for depressions and anxiety and is probably not traditional mental health services, therefore the appropriate response to someone with higher level needs, suicidal ideation or presenting crisis would be directing back to GP in first instance.

Ok so what should have happened? The OP went home wrote a ?complaint letter and a link to a FB page, and then went back to insist on an apology?
We dont actually know how the consult went, only that the Op was unhappy with the outcome (which was no valium as far as I can tell). The original concern was from ?psychology on the phone ?the receptionist. They didnt even assess her did they?
And no were does it say she is suicidal.
The GP may have been in the middle of a 30 patient surgery. Sadly the days of hand holding are long gone.
I know from experience that patients do not often realise that the doctor is assessing them just by talking to them.
I didnt give antibiotics to a child and the mother complained I didnt even bother to examine him. Of course I did, thoroughly and documented it. But her perception (?because she didnt get what she wanted/felt she needed) was different/wrong.
The complaints culture it tiring and wearing and why I pay 1/6 of my income for medical protection insurance. We shouldnt have to live in fear that patients will threaten and harass and complain when they dont get what they want but sadly that is what is happening.

Canthisone, and you're placing it firmly on the GP with only one side of the story (and that side isnt a great one).

There are always two perceptions in such an interaction. Regardless of the ops or the Gps behaviour which I have not commented on either only to say Appropriate action was not taken by the GP, based on what OP says of course because that is only what is being presented here. I could start every post with in my opinion based on what you say OP, just to be totally clear but I don't find that necessary.

OP writes: "knocked on her door, she opened it and said she was busy, I said ok i will wait."
poster macdoodle describes this as: "barges in and insists you read a complaint, look at a FB page and give her some valium"

macdoodle seems to be writing her own story of what happened here - not reading the actual OP!!! And this is from a GP? Dear me.

OP, I've only just read this thread.

I'm sorry that you had such a terrible day yesterday and sorry for the loss of your friend. Being in a mental health crisis can be terrifying, not just for you but also for the people around you

Don't forget the GP had a duty of care to the other patients in the surgery as well as to you and if she'd had a letter saying you were a danger to the public she had to be VERY VERY cautious especially after you returned. Think how it would have looked for her if she'd known that and then you had kicked off and she'd done nothing.

When you're better and you think about yesterday you'll realize how odd your behaviour and your subsequent postings on here would have appeared to someone in a normal rational state of mind.

I really hope you've managed to get in touch with the crisis team or similar today and asked for help. Don't waste your energy going after the GP with complaints and demands for apologies, instead focus on getting yourself better. Its clear from your postings on here that you were not really behaving very sensibly or rationally yesterday. We all have bad days. Please put yesterday in the past were it belongs and focus on sorting yourself out right now.

I hope you get the right support very soon.

It doesn't really matter what the OP did or didn't so. The fact of the matter is that the GP should have involved the crisis team or similar and got the OP emergency help. Even if that meant protecting him/herself first then calling them after things have calmed down.

The OP's actions were obviously not the best, no one would say otherwise, but she is unwell and needed emergency help and they failed her. There is a way of making sure the GP is safe AND getting the OP urgent medical help. HCP's manage to do it every day.

Exactly that the edge.

Macdoodle

You don't sound like you enjoy dealing with your patients particularly. Unless, that is if they 'behave'.

OPs GP appears to have made a quite large error of judgement here unfortunately and escalated the situation. The GP is the professional here and not acted accordingly. Was there not a letter saying OP was a danger which OP saw on a screen? That should have involved a crisis team as far as I'm concerned.

Just read the whole thread, I think a lot of you are being

1. unkind to macrdoogle (I'd be happy for you to be my GP)
2. massively unrealistic about a what to expect from a GP. It would be lovely if they could hope your hand through every crisis but there simply is not the time.

MH services are defiantly stretched/ poor but that's not the GPs fault

I'm not sure why everyone's giving Macdoogle a hard time.

NO ONE deserves to feel scared or intimidated in their job.

Just because you've chosen a career were you encounter people with varying MH issues does not mean you should give them a little cuddle on the couch and slip whatever drug they demand into their hot cocoa.

GP's have a duty of care. I can't say I believe the OP 100% but of most of what she said is true I'm not surprised the GP walked away.

Imagine being that doctor. You're working, maybe with another patient. A patient you saw earlier in the day (who was adament that they should be prescribed a very particular drug which they have been given before by a friend but was not ever prescribed to them) turns up at your door agitated. Telling you to go to their dead friend's facebook and read their complaint letter. What would you do? Honestly?

Of course I like my patients to "behave" , should I enjoy being harassed and threatened? What an odd comment.
I love my job and the vast majority of my patients. Yes there are some I really dont like, I am human after all, I like to believe I am professional at treating them even when they are unpleasant and aggressive.
It is the system that is broken I am afraid. I am doing almost twice the work I was doing 10 years ago for less money, and more stress. Secondary care and mental health services are a shambles but somehow I am expected to solve/fix that.
As a society we medicalise EVERYTHING, and there is/expected to be a pill for every ill, and a cure for everything, which the GP should have. Sometimes life is shit, and people get upset and distressed, that really doesnt mean there is a magic fix for it.

Brian I would wager I have seen many hundreds more than you

Unlikely, from what you say.

Behave as in not making allowances for certain circumstances. I'm not condoning aggressive violent behaviour if course, neither have I been where OP has been however from the OPs post it seems to me her GP failed her. I also think you are applying a made up scenario of your own to what happened with OP.

I don't think anyone is suggesting you are responsible for fixing the MH area of the NHS however making the correct referrals and judgements calls are something a GP is expected to do and in this case it appears that didn't happen.

I phoned the practice to get a copy of the letter sent by my Mental Health team to my GP in order to make a complaint and was informed by the practice manager that I have been struck off and that my records are longer there and that a letter is in the post (recorded). She said if go back to the Surgery again that they would call the police.

The police resolved the issue peaceful on the grounds that I had an appointment with the surgery on Friday with a different doctor!!!

This made me so angry, so I stormed down there. It’s about a mile away and by the time I got there I had calmed down. I spoke to the receptionist, she asked me to take a seat. The manager came out with a copy of the letter from my MH team. I asked why I had been stuck off and she said she couldn't say, a letter that’s on its way would explain.

They were reasonable with me and I was reasonable with them, the police were not needed. I’m still angry at Dr Most of you know who :) but that will pass.

To clear things up, a time line of what actually happened as apposed to
what some posters on here are saying happened based on there own assumptions.

I originally went to the doctor because I had got a letter from psychological services asking me to. I explained why I was there and added that I was especially distressed that morning because I had just found out a friend had died & asked for Valium to cope that day. If this is demanding something, then I also demanded an asthma pump. She made comments about my motives, saying “I know what you are up to” and said she wasn't giving an addictive drug to someone like me. I said to her that she isn't a nice person (those were my words) and left.
I paced the streets for 20 minutes, I went to go home one way, felt it was wrong, back the other way, felt that was wrong and kept on ending back outside the surgery. I went back in and knocked on the door, she came to the door, opened it and said she was busy. I said I will wait. I stood in the corridor, away from her door (and with my back to it) facing the reception. I heard the door go, looked round and she was going up the stairs. I stood where I was & the receptionist came and said I had to leave and escorted me to the door, I said what happened and the receptionist said I need to write a complaint letter, I said I was distressed and needed one Valium and she said that surgery doesn't ever prescribe Valium.
I left and was again and saw my friend on the street who took me home. I went through what happened and my friend said that that surgery does prescribe Valium and I should write a complaint letter. I hand wrote the letter and went back to take it to the doctors.
I went back and went to the room where I saw the original doctor, but it was empty. Someone from reception went past me and into a room, then someone came out and asked what I wanted. I said I wanted to give the complaint letter to the doctor and I wanted help. The woman said I could see a doctor but I had to wait in reception. I waited in reception for 20 minutes and then the police arrived, they knew my name and were very caring. They said they had been called because the doctor said I was threatening and abusive. I do not feel I was. The police commented that he didn't feel I was threatening or abusive, and the receptionist also said (in front of the police) that she never saw me being threatening or abusive. The police were the ones to suggest I make an appointment with a different doctor and that I should forget about seeing this one. The receptionist booked me an appointment. I left.
I phoned the doctor today to ask for a copy of the letter which the psychological services sent them, and was told I had been struck off the surgery list & they no longer hold any of my information.

Your last account isn't at all what you said in your OP.

Read both back and spot the glaring differences.

Anyway, the surgery no longer feels able to deal with you, and have removed you from their list.

Find a new GP and move on, less aggressively. Forget about apologies for imagined slights, just begin anew. Otherwise you will end up hanging on to this one thing, unable to see the bigger picture.

Macdoodle, no one should be threatened or harassed at work but being so defensive and critical is hardly helping someone who is clearly very unwell.

That's unless you think pacing up and down and all in the op was normal behaviour, which as a gp you clearly wouldn't

It's rare for GPs to keep patients on their lists when they have had to involve the police, unless they are a very rural practice. You don't sound as though you regretted your behaviour or intended to apologise, you were just wanting to complain about them so I think starting again elsewhere is sensible.
If you want a copy of the letter that was sent by psychology then you are best asking psychology for a copy.