Am I being unreasonable to want my doctor to apologise to me?

[tennor]

To cut a long story short my life is falling apart at the moment, I need to sort out work (retrain) and somewhere to live among other things. I’ve been suffering depression and went to the doctor A who referred me to my borough’s psychological services. I spoke to them on the phone and they have made an appointment for me, however they said they were worried about my mental state and asked me to make another appointment at the doctors (I guess for anti depressants). The morning of my appointment I found out that a friend of mine had died. Another Doctor, Doctor B, looked at my letter from Psychological therapies and said “well I don’t know what they expect me to do” she asked me about my mental state too, I replied that I feel stressed and angry. She told me “I know what you’re doing you’re putting this on to bump your way up the housing ladder” – however I am not even on the “housing ladder”. Taken aback by this comment I said I’m stressed out, my friend has died and asked if she could prescribe me some Valium. No she replied, I asked if she would prescribe just 1 pill, she said “I don’t give people like you valium”. I said I think that she is not a nice person and she showed me the door.

I walked out on to the street totally stressed out, muscles cramping. I tried to go home yet found myself walking up and down the road. After about 30 minutes I went back to see Dr B, I knocked on her door, she opened it and said she was busy, I said ok i will wait. She then walked past me and around the corner and that was the last time a saw her. Two minutes later the receptionist came around and asked me to leave, I told her I just want to see Dr B to get some Valium, she told me the doctor doesn’t want to see you and this surgery doesn’t prescribe Valium. She said If I had a problem, write a complaint.

I went back outside pacing up and down and decided I would write a complaint letter, I went home and wrote the letter which included the facebook address of my dead friend and my post to him which I had left that morning before going to the doctors. I went back to the doctors with my letter, I wanted her to go on line and look at it so she could see that I was not making this up.

I was asked to wait in reception and she would see me, 20 minutes later the police walked in and told me that she has made a complaint about me being aggressive and that she is not going to see me. The police had the new video and audio cameras recording everything that went on, I have to say they were the nicest police I have ever met, If they didn’t have the video cameras I would have certainly have been arrested. I told them im not leaving so arrest me but they defused the situation and I left peacefully with an appointment to see a different doctor.
However I am still angry at the way Dr B treated me, and her outright lie to the police about me being aggressive. I asked the receptionist if she had ever seen me be aggressive and she replied no.
i want to add that I have never had valium prescribed to me before or any other drug for that matter from my doctors and that I hardly ever visit the doctor. i want to book an appointment with her so she can read my compliant letter and visit my dead friends facebook page and apologise to me. Am I being unreasonable to the cow?

None of us were there.
None of us know what exactly was said, and how.
I know MN provision is sadly lacking in many places.

Any GP has a duty of care to all their patients and there is a zero tolerance policy towards abusive behaviour.
I don't think that the GP in question nor the OP had their finest hour here.
Yes, poor MH can cause erratic/atypical behaviour and yes, not every HCP is good at dealing with this.

Canus supporting someone with mental health crisis does not simply involve taking them to a place of safety...what do you propose that would look like or involve? What would be the long or short term benefits of that over and above coming up with a clear plan of action?

Shocking behaviour on your part in my opinion, that poor GP, someone with self confessed anger problems knocking on your door demanding you look at a Facebook page and asking for Valium, it doesn't make sense your post, if the GP said 'housing ladder' she would of meant purchasing a property not social housing (like another poster mentioned too) which I presume you're referring to.

I would be sending a sorry card if anything if I was you

Hope you get the help you need

Hope you are feeling a little calmer today OP. I have been where you are and it is terrifying

Ask if there is a mental health crisis team you can access, or mental health social worker you could speak to. Do you have any family or friends to support and help you with this?

It is completely unacceptable for a HCP to send you off with no help, support or coping strategies.

It is clear you are not well, for the GP to treat you like that is imo very poor.

Oh dear, I am sorry for your loss & for everything you are going through at the moment .

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking your GP to prescribe you an antidepressant if you feel you need one, but whether that is appropriate and, if so, which one is the Dr's job. You cannot (as you have found), go in demanding Valium. A good Dr is never going to prescribe a drug to someone if they don't feel it is needed.

I have had MH issues of my own, and I have also worked in a GP's Surgery (many years ago) so I can see the situation from both sides.

I'm sorry but I think the Dr was right to call the Police, she had a patient demanding Valium, being verbally abusive to her & refusing to leave. You also say that she had a letter from your Psychologist saying you were considered "a danger to yourself and the public".

If the housing comments were as you say then that was out of order. I also do not know why the Crisis Team were not called alongside the Police, but maybe if we could speak to the GP (obviously not as a) she is probably not on MN and b) she couldn't discuss it anyway) - we would find that she had a good reason for that.

I really do hope that things improve for you very soon & I do think you need help. I would register with a new GP and ask for urgent advice. Please do not demand Valium or verbally abuse anyone though!

Best of luck .

"odd and scary" - you think that if you're sitting in your office with the door closed, someone who has already been seen barges in and insists you read a complaint, look at a FB page and give her some valium, is acceptable. Would it be in a bank or solicitors office? Jeez I'd be scared sorry, its odd, none of my patients barge into my room unannounced?!
And then arguing with the police for 10mins? and thinking only a camera protected her? why? sorry we are only hearing one side here and it sounds off to me.
I have 40-50 patient contacts a day and they dont behave like that, and if they do, they are asked to leave, if they refuse to leave, the police are called. End of.
I have seen many suicidal, depressed, anxious patients, and on the whole they dont behave like that either. I am sorry but the behaviour comes across as drug seeking - maybe it wasnt but that is how is sounds and probably seemed to the GP.
Op what did you want to happen other than being given valium?

Maybe you haven't seen any in acute mental health crises then. Which surprises me as a GP.

Complaining about the GP's attitude and advice may have been appropriate if the OP hadn't then started repeatedly hassling the GP and demanding valium and refusing to leave the surgery until the police were called. In view of that if anyone needs to apologise it's the OP. Mental ill health isn't an excuse for bullying people to get what you want (unless you are psychotic or severely demented).
I think the relationship with this particular GP is over and if the practice and the OP decide to stay together she is better seeing another GP rather than trying to bully the GP into reading particular stuff on the computer and prescribe valium.

Brian I would wager I have seen many hundreds more than you, and they do not behave like a spoilt child insisting on dangerous controlled addictive drugs and then performing when they dont get it. On the whole...

You are a GP macdoodle? Really? Gosh that is truly shocking.

Oh and as I cross posted with your last vile post. It's shocking and disgusting that you are a GP.

Really?? Because I don't like to be threatened and harassed in my place of work? I see many thousands of patients a year and they DO NOT behave like this (on the whole), and a lot of them are anxious/distressed/have mental health illnesses.
Being a patient does not give you an excuse to behave in an inappropriate manner, not unless you are lacking in capacity, which the OP clearly is not.
Nor do I (or any other medic) have to put up with it.

And you and the Op and Brian are all free to find any other GP you like, there are lots of us. Really its not a loss.

Actually I am with macdoodle on this. When my son had a crisis I was frightened of him and a gp should have the right not to treat if they feel threatened. Oh and he used to obsess over 'wrongs'.
The fact is you don't go to the doctors to tell them what to prescribe. They gauge what you need after a lengthy period of study and training. You don't need Valium you need help.

+1 for Mac. Hcps don't have to put up with this ever. Anywhere. I for one am grateful that GPs post on MN and don't want them to be put off by posters like Brian and canthis because GPs posting will provide far more value than those two ever will. Combined.

I agree with ik8,you need to seek the right support in real life and you need to 're contact psychological services.
Phone the samaritans if you need to

hCPS should offer up appropriate help and that did not happen.

I can't believe people are arguing that it is ever right that GPs are put in a position where they feel threatened by their patient.

From what the op posted it seems that all the GP did wrong was mention housing. Nothing the GP did would have been good enough it seems unless it was to prescribe a strong drug which he didn't feel was appropriate

Op perhaps in future it would help if you took someone else with you to appointments who can help support you?

Macdoodle you are of course right about your personal safety and so on, but you display a worryingly glib attitude towards dealing with people who may be on the cusp of something drastic and may be deeply influenced by your intervention or lack thereof. Do you really think it's that easy to just go and find another GP when you're in a desperate hole and contemplating suicide? Sure, most people don't behave like that, but then thankfully most people aren't in crisis or possibly acutely suicidal.

I don't think anyone has actually said it's alright for a GP to be put in a position of feeling threatened. What has been argued is that it's not ok for a GP to judge and fail to provide support to someone who requires it.

But even from what the op said it seems that to her she would only accept one answer from them. We also need to remember that this is one side of the story and I am guessing the GPs version would be very different (and the truth somewhere between the two)

Sure, but there are also wider principles under discussion here now, and the 'well, they can go to another doctor' attitude is dangerous.

I have been a GP for 11 years in one practice, and GP training locally for 5 years before that. In all that time I have only ever called the police twice, both were for patients asking for valium and refusing to leave, both times I felt very vulnerable and threatened (one was a woman, one a man). TWICE in 16years. You have to wonder what the OP was behaving like to make the doctor avoid her and call the police, not done lightly. I do not like this GP bashing on the face of a one sided story, but feel free I'm made of tough stuff, and TBH those of you who feel its ok I would not want as my patients.

Why? Surely once you have felt threatened by a patient, and the patient is so unhappy as to slag you off by name on the internet, then the therapeutic relationship is irretrievably broken down and it is the patients best interests to register elsewhere.