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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Maternity Leave

94 replies

Mmolly2013 · 14/05/2014 22:22

I am going on Maternity leave soon. Currently working 35 hours per week earning about £1100 per month. Dh is on about the same.

When my maternity pay starts can i applying for working tax credits or anything else to help us out, as maternity pay means i will only get around £550 per month. So worried about how im going to live on that as rent is £300 each.

how does everyone do it

OP posts:
Original poster
Mmolly2013 · 14/05/2014 22:44

No hes amazing in terms of helping, its me that wants to support myself.

OP posts:
CurlyBlueberry · 14/05/2014 22:44

With one child and no childcare costs you may not be entitled to any tax credits - again worth a check but I'm part-time with comparatively very high childcare costs and don't get any. They have really lowered the thresholds in the past couple of years.

Original poster
Mmolly2013 · 14/05/2014 22:45

Im talking about separate from baby ie my debts, car insurance, my bills.

OP posts:
Catsize · 14/05/2014 22:45

He can also share your mat leave and you can go back to work sooner p'raps? Not if he is self-employed though, as we have found to our detriment. Partner shared it for DC1 when employed but now can't as both self-employed.
Without wishing to sound like my mother, did you not think of these things beforehand? Assuming this is a planned pregnancy?

AnythingNotEverything · 14/05/2014 22:45

Er, OP, you're disproportionately disadvantaged by physically having the baby you both created. He needs to buck his ideas up. You are a family now. Why should you be penniless and stressed out while his life hardly changes?

NoArmaniNoPunani · 14/05/2014 22:45

Your husband won't share his money with you? Shock

Cookiepants · 14/05/2014 22:46

But OP you are having a baby TOGETHER. This means you should be supporting each other. Me and DH have had times when one is making more than the other, it all evens out. I heaven forbid he became ill and couldn't work would you support him or say tough manage your money?

Original poster
Mmolly2013 · 14/05/2014 22:47

You can never plan these things properly untill your in that situation. We were hardly going to win the lottery in next few years so are circumstances moneywise would not have changes. Ive never had help from the government which is why im clueless about what i could get.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 14/05/2014 22:48

I'm in the same situation in that I'm on mat leave and my h and I generally have our own money.

I've dropped approx £1500 a month on my salary but both h and I know that in the mean time he helps with the shortfall. I like my financial independence but I suck it up as it's not forever.

If he is offering the money, what's the issue?

WooWooOwl · 14/05/2014 22:48

Your DH will have to pay more of the rent when you go onto SMP, or you will have to go back to work earlier than you would like.

You could talk to the people you are in debt to to see if you can take a payment break while you are on SMP, and then continue to pay it off when you're back at work.

You will get child benefit to help pay for things for your child, but you really shouldn't be thinking about getting benefits to pay off your debt when you have a husband that can pay the rent.

SoonToBeSix · 14/05/2014 22:49

On that income you would be entitled to maximum child tax credits about £50 a week that would also entitle you to a sure start grant . When you first apply for tax credits they may well say you are not entitled as they will base it in last years earnings. You then need to ask them to do an in year calculation based on your current income.

CurlyBlueberry · 14/05/2014 22:49

I get that you want to rely on your own money and think that's very commendable but as this is your child together, he should be covering half the costs, if you're going to think of it like that. Half the childcare... and if it works out better for you to go part-time, then the time that you are caring for your child, he needs to be putting something in financially or else you are doing more than your share. Does that make sense? If you weren't looking after his child round his shifts he would have to pay somebody to do it. He doesn't have to, as you're there, so needs to cover more of the bills to make it even.

schmalice · 14/05/2014 22:49

To be fair OP hasn't said he won't share his money more that she doesn't want to ask him to. OP I get the wanting to be able to have your own money but really this is one of those 'in it together' moments!

Original poster
Mmolly2013 · 14/05/2014 22:50

ok thanks for the advice

OP posts:
Original poster
Mmolly2013 · 14/05/2014 22:51

weve been together long time. i guessed im just used to buying what i want with my own money without having to ask. ill have to suck it up

OP posts:
Cookiepants · 14/05/2014 22:51

I doubt you would be entitled anyway OP. As I understand they would look at your pre baby earnings for this year which would be too much. You may have to apply next year when you know how much you will get from your part time hours.

Me and DH have gone from a household income of around £3000 a month to £900. Lots of scrimping in the Cookie house last few months.

SoonToBeSix · 14/05/2014 22:52

Sorry ignore my post I managed to totally miss your dh income. No I doubt you would get any tax credits just cb.

WooWooOwl · 14/05/2014 22:54

You aren't going to be supporting yourself on your own money if you want to be claiming benefits to have a baby.

You didn't create the baby alone and you shouldn't have to pay for the associated costs/drop in income alone.

I find your way of thinking about this incredibly weird.

Ponkypink · 14/05/2014 22:55

You will get child tax credits on that pay. I earn more than that and still get some (also they cover 70% of childcare costs as I am a single parent, but I'm pretty sure they cover it for families where both parents work on a similar income, the threshold for childcare help is quite high, goodness knows why they don't just subsidise it for everyone like the nordic countries and save some paperwork).

I don't think it's fair for you to be paying a full half the rent when you are on mat leave. Your financial arrangements are up to you and your partner of course but why should you take a big financial and him just carry on as before? He should be covering half the child-associated costs and that includes having you caring for his child if you both decide not to put it into nursery straight off, which means I would think he should pay another 1/4 of the rent while you are on SMP.

CurlyBlueberry · 14/05/2014 22:57

Mmolly could you arrange it so that he just picks up more of the bills? Then you are still left with your own money and not have to ask. e.g. he could pay full rent "in return" for you arranging your work around him and picking up the majority of the childcare.

jeanlucpicard · 14/05/2014 22:58

You have a partner... your income for benefits' purposes is assessed including his income.. your finances are seen as joint by law and by the majority of people that have healthy relationships. Why on earth would anyone think they are entitled to free money from the state just because they wish to keep their husband's money separate?

Original poster
Mmolly2013 · 14/05/2014 23:00

my husbands money would hardly be seperate if its included in the assessment for anything we could receive.

OP posts:
Catsize · 14/05/2014 23:02

You can never plan these things properly untill your in that situation.

Which I perhaps unfairly translate as 'let's just hope for the best when the time comes'. This is fine, but then I am surprised that you come to this forum asking for advice after choosing to take that approach.

People are divided into those who consider their finances before having a planned child and those who don't. If your AIBU is 'AIBU not to have thought about this and then come on AIBU to ask you all to think about it instead, without an AIBU?' Then yes, YABU.

Think I am just a bit grumpy tonight, sorry.

mindthegap79 · 14/05/2014 23:04

Separate not seperate. What jeanluc said :)

freezation · 14/05/2014 23:04

But you're the one who wants to keep your husband's money separate then claim benefits because you haven't got enough to cover half your bills!