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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset that none of our family will be here for DD's graduation?

63 replies

Settimia · 14/05/2014 22:09

Two of my nephews have already graduated and the entire family came.

DD is supposed to be this summer. The dates were released a few weeks ago, everyone said how lovely, they'd definitely be coming... Now only one aunt (out of 8!) is still going to be here. It's so unfair. Even her godfather is going away.

I feel especially unfair for DD because MIL died on her birthday and no one ever wants to celebrate then. I was going to make a big buffet and have everyone here.

OP posts:
Picturesinthefirelight · 14/05/2014 22:12

Are graduations big family affairs these days then. When I graduated it was a strict 2 tickets only for my parents & my then fiancé had to wait outside.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 14/05/2014 22:13

I didnt even go to my own Graduation so a whole family affair seems odd but I would have thought only the parents would be invited.

Delphiniumsblue · 14/05/2014 22:13

I am surprised there is room. We had two spaces- and since it was over 200miles from home I can't see how we could entertain. They are very boring if it isn't your DC.

PotteringAlong · 14/05/2014 22:14

My mum, dad and sister came to mine. It never crossed my mind they would be a big affair.

Original poster
Settimia · 14/05/2014 22:15

Only 2 tickets for the ceremony but the rest of the family came afterwards to drink the free champers see my nephews in their gowns, take pictures and then we all went for something to eat.

I'm not expecting them to sit through the ceremony, but I thought they would have wanted to celebrate with us.

OP posts:
Jellybellymummyofsix · 14/05/2014 22:15

I didn't bother going to my own graduation.

When ds graduated we were very limited to numbers. I personally think it's an immediate family sort of occasion.

Delphiniumsblue · 14/05/2014 22:16

It is a strict 2 tickets, Pictures. We went to my son's girlfriend's graduation as 'extras' and had to watch a large screen. It turned out to be a better view than the actual hall , but even that was restricted with numbers. The mind boggles at whole extended families being there!

elliejjtiny · 14/05/2014 22:17

I was lucky that DH was graduating at the same time so I had my parents, inlaws and him there but I thought it was normally 2 tickets per person.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 14/05/2014 22:17

I didn't expect anyone to care less other than my parents tbh

SisterMoonshine · 14/05/2014 22:17

Don't blame them really - it is boring.
You didn't expect 8 aunts to go did you?

Original poster
Settimia · 14/05/2014 22:18

I'm not expecting anyone to come to the ceremony- there's no tickets. I thought they would want to come out with us afterwards to celebrate because that's what had happened with my nephews.

OP posts:
Delphiniumsblue · 14/05/2014 22:19

Maybe you are local. I certainly didn't expect them all to travel over 200 miles to take photos! I can't see why they would want to travel even a short distance, I am sure they will get to see the photos. It would also spoil it IMO- it was a small intimate group.

Original poster
Settimia · 14/05/2014 22:19

Yes, we are local. Only 15 minutes away.

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 14/05/2014 22:20

How come they're not going?

Is it because they don't want to or because they have holidays or other things booked?

Original poster
Settimia · 14/05/2014 22:21

They've all booked holidays.

OP posts:
TheDudess · 14/05/2014 22:22

I wouldn't spend any more time thinking about it. I've never heard of extended families doing this and I've graduated three times.

Just enjoy your day with your DD!

SpamTroll · 14/05/2014 22:22

Can you have a informal family get together later on to celebrate her graduation rather than trying to get people to sit through a graduation ceremony. I think graduation ceremonies are dull unless you are a parent.

Might your family not want to come because they have already had to sit through two ceremonies Confused

BonaDea · 14/05/2014 22:22

Yabu.

Floralnomad · 14/05/2014 22:22

My DS graduates this summer and has just announced that he's not going to the graduation ceremony ,although to his credit he did ask if it would bother me and his dad . It doesn't bother me I can think of several better ways to spend a day than sitting in a cathedral . Is your dd upset or just you?

SantanaLopez · 14/05/2014 22:23

I think it's a bit unusual but I do feel sorry for your DD if they all told her that they were coming and she saw how the entire family came to the other two.

SpamTroll · 14/05/2014 22:23

Sorry cross post

Original poster
Settimia · 14/05/2014 22:24

They're not invited to the ceremony.

DD is a bit upset, she's been really looking forward to it.

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 14/05/2014 22:24

Yanbu to be disappointed op but you know the hype does die down after the first one. You just enjoy your day with your family.

Onesleeptillwembley · 14/05/2014 22:25

My family would celebrate a gerbils birthday, tbh, but nope, never made an extended family thing of graduations. Just a meal with parents usually.

WooWooOwl · 14/05/2014 22:26

If they already booked holidays then it's not that they don't want be there, it's just that they are going on holidays at the most suitable time for them. It sounds like they've booked quite recently for this summer, so they might not have had many option with available dates.

I understand your disappointment, but you're saying you thought they'd want to be there, and they probably do, but you can't expect people to arrange holidays around one family meal. You could have a get together when they are all back.