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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that 'breastfeeding welcome here' stickers here aren't necessary?

70 replies

freezation · 14/05/2014 20:49

Just that really. Why are they needed? The lack of a sticker could put someone off breastfeeding when they need to. I don't understand the point of them. It's not helping to normalise breastfeeding.

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 14/05/2014 20:56

Damned if you do, damned if you don't Hmm

shouldbeelsewhere · 14/05/2014 20:59

OK so no kids here but really it strikes me that's a bit like big signs announcing "wheelchair friendly" which make me giggle and think "I'm glad you're going to be friendly to my wheelchair but I'd rather you were friendly to me." or "wheelchairs welcome" which is similar. I think a lot of places go over kill on trying to attract what might be minorities or might not feel comfortable/welcome. It's about atmosphere and what you do, not what you claim, venues!

Original poster
freezation · 14/05/2014 21:00

Really? Maybe we should have 'formula feeding welcome here' stickers? Either everywhere should have them or nowhere. Otherwise it's suggesting that if an establishment doesn't have a sticker then they don't welcome breastfeeding, which I'm sure wouldn't be the case Wink. It's a bit patronising.

OP posts:
Original poster
freezation · 14/05/2014 21:01

Agreed shouldbe

OP posts:
SleepRefugee · 14/05/2014 21:03

But you do get dirty looks occasionally in some places, especially if the nursling is past the newborn stage or - gasp - a toddler.

I think they are a good thing, indicating that at least the people running the place are not ignorant of the law, ie that it is unlawful to ask a BF mother to stop/move.

SaucyJack · 14/05/2014 21:05

When was the last time you heard of someone being asked to leave a cafe for bottle feeding?

Original poster
freezation · 14/05/2014 21:07

But that doesn't help to normalise breastfeeding. People shouldn't be ignorant of the law and places shouldn't be avoided because they don't have a sticker.

OP posts:
curlyclaz13 · 14/05/2014 21:08

I didn't give much of a flying what people thought/think about me and am aware I am allowed to do it without being asked to stop/move but some mum's aren't as comfortable or confident. A sticker probably allows these mum's to feel more comfortable feeding in these places? Maybe they have comfy chairs and places more discrete to feed for those who choose to?

Optimist1 · 14/05/2014 21:10

It's a bit like the gay-friendly rainbows, isn't it?

If my children were still of an age to be BFed I think I'd think positively about an establishment that advertised their acceptance, regardless of the fact that there are laws in place.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 14/05/2014 21:12

Because there is a difference between "we happily welcome bfing mothers and embrace the wonder of bfing" and "we allow you to bf here because our jands are tied due to the law".

Anything that helps a bfing mum feel more comfortable to feed out and about can only be a good thing.

Where I work (hotel) a wedding guest asked where the loos were so she could bf her baby. I responded by saying she was welcome to feed where ever she liked, but we also had a small meeting room adjacent to the weddi g reception room which she may prefer to a toilet. I got her a key, so she could come and go as she pleased, and stocked it with a comfy chair and plenty of bottled water.

I do wonder how many mums have bfd at my hotel in the loo or traipsed up to their bedrooms because they felt they may not have been welcome to feed around other guests.

dreamingofwineandcheese · 14/05/2014 21:12

When I was breastfeeding DS I was comfortable with feeding anywhere that I needed to and was fully prepared to say my piece if I was ever confronted by anyone who thought I was in the wrong. I never experienced any negativity and mostly I got nice smiles from people.

However, seeing one of those stickers does automatically make you feel more comfortable about feeding there ime. I think maybe that's more what they are for?

Original poster
freezation · 14/05/2014 21:12

I haven't saucy but that's not really the point. The stickers are symbolic of a wider issue. No welcome signs, just people feeding their babies however they choose to.

OP posts:
Busymumto3dc · 14/05/2014 21:13

I took my dd into argos, aged about 3 months

I was instantly pounced upon by a sale insisting informing me that they were breastfeeding friendly and I could feed my dd in their store

I just stared at her. Gobsmacked

Dd was sleeping peacefully. And also formula fed.

Busymumto3dc · 14/05/2014 21:14

I've never seen stickers in argos though

Clearly they just tell you instead

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 14/05/2014 21:15

The sticker isnt just for bfing mums though- it also alerts uptight prudish people who take pffence at seeing the back of a babys head nestled into a womans top, and gives them a chance to take their odd views amd cash elsewhere.

CrohnicallyHungry · 14/05/2014 21:16

I breastfeed DD, am well aware of the law regarding it and am perfectly willing to argue my case against anyone who expresses their disapproval.

However, in the early days, when I was still getting over wishing I had an extra pair of hands to help cover up and get DD latched on (tongue tie baby, over production of milk, meant if I wasn't careful anyone within a 6 foot radius was liable to get soaked) I loved spotting those 'breastfeeding friendly' stickers while out and about. It meant I could fully relax and do what I needed to, and knew I would have the owner's backing should anyone comment (unlike some high profile cases where owners have sided with the complainant and asked the breastfeeding woman to leave).

Original poster
freezation · 14/05/2014 21:17

I think I'm just cross that there are places where "we allow you to fb here because our hands are tied due to the law" as thinkive said. There is a huge problem in our society when people think like that. It's very sad that some mums feel uncomfortable about feeding their babies the way they want to in public. How have we got to this stage?

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FleurDeHeadLys · 14/05/2014 21:18

I liked them, especially in the early days when I wasn't so confident.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 14/05/2014 21:18

I always thought they should be read as

" you can fuck off if you want to give a feeding mother weird looks or try to throw a blanket over her"

SaucyJack · 14/05/2014 21:20

It's very sad that some mums feel uncomfortable about feeding their babies the way they want to in public.

Agreed. Just don't agree that breast-feeding friendly stickers are contributing to the problem.

FleurDeHeadLys · 14/05/2014 21:20

It's very sad that some mums feel uncomfortable about feeding their babies the way they want to in public. How have we got to this stage?

I think it's always been that way, tbh. My grandmother (b. 1921) loved that I could feed in public; she was always made to go into a different room. She certainly didn't feed in front of men.

Original poster
freezation · 14/05/2014 21:20

Maybe the thread title should be "shouldn't be necessary" rather than "aren't necessary"!

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Original poster
freezation · 14/05/2014 21:23

needs that would be fantastic! Exactly what we need!!
fleur I suppose I mean that society has supposedly become more enlightened but not necessarily in this area.

OP posts:
myusernameis · 14/05/2014 21:29

The stickers sound like a great idea to me. As someone who will hopefully be breastfeeding in a couple of months and who is slightly anxious about doing it in public (despite being fully aware of the law) I know being in places with these stickers would definitely put my mind at ease.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 14/05/2014 21:30

Lots of new BF mothers are really anxious about BF in public and yes that's sad, but if this makes it easier for them I'm all for it. If you're feeling a tearful wreck from lack of sleep, hormones, mixed success with BF or whatever, you might not feel up to challenging and asserting your rights, it's good to know upfront if a venue is somewhere you will be able to relax and not have to deal with arses.