Re this woman coming on holidays

[Daisymasie]

A group of us who have been friends for years are thinking of going away for a week in the sun together. However, one of the group keeps talking about clubs and nightlife and where 'the good bars' are. We're all mid to late forties and the rest of us have absolutely no interest in that kind of holiday - most of us can't remember the last time we were in a nightclub.

We really just want a relaxing holiday chilling by the pool with good books, going out for something nice to eat in the evenings, maybe have a bottle of wine on one or other balcony - that kind of thing.

AWBU to think this woman is being a bit immature and to be regretting we've included her. We've known her for a few years but not as long as each other. We knew she liked a good social life but didn't realise she still associated a 'girls holiday' with clubbing and pubbing.

Everyone IS different. I've got friends who think dinner parties are fun

I am 37 and I love wine and dancing.

You're a long time dead...

Want to hear how talk went!

Boring to you morethan. But your idea of a holiday would probably be boring to other people. The main thing is that one person does not dictate to the majority or completely change the tone of the holiday to suit themselves.

SGB You sound like you need to maybe grow up a bit.

OP here.

Chat went quite well. We said we were a bit concerned that we wouldn't be great company for her as none of us were into the idea of a typical 'girls holiday' kind of thing. She admitted that she'd been getting those vibes from us and had said it to her DH, and it turned out he had actually said to her all the things we wanted to say re not imposing her will on everyone or trying to force people to 'let their hair down'. She's said she'd still like to come on the holiday and is happy to go along with the majority. So that's a load off my mind.
By the way, when I said 'hotel', I was just using the term loosely. We'll probably go for a couple of apartments or even a villa if we can get one that's not too expensive.
Thanks for all the advice.

SGB perhaps you should go on a holiday where there's lots of kids' clubs and sand pits. It sounds about your maturity level.

I though SGB's post was quite funny.

There's nothing wrong with what OP wants or with what the neighbour wants. They don't have to denigrate each other's preferences, just come to an agreement about which will hold sway on this particular holiday.

Glad the talk went well. She sounds very nice really.

Denzel there's nothing funny about being sneery and insulting. I have seen some witty posts on here but SGB's wasn't one of them.

In light of SGB being quite a lot older than Daisy, this is quite funny, and I do agree she needs the sand.

Sounds like you have handled this perfectly.

That's a good outcome.

She's said she'd still like to come on the holiday and is happy to go along with the majority.

...which is precisely how I suggested she might react earlier and you slated me for even thinking that you might be making more of it than it really was...

I'm getting too old for this defensive poster lark. I shall go and find a book to read instead.

I got the impression that it was when she began to pick up 'vibes' and mentioned it to her DH that he copped on and managed to explain to her how presumptuous she was being. Up until that point she had been trying to ignore the hints being given by her friends and steamroll them.

I didn't see you being 'slated'. The OP just asked had you read her previous posts as your post didn't seem to take those into accounts. You're being a tad over dramatic I think.

No drama, although I could have replaced the word 'slated' with 'dismissed' just amused at OP not seeming able to consider that it was a non-issue in the first place. And you too for that matter!

Now where's that good book?

How was it a non-issue? The friend's husband had to speak with her and even then, she waited until the friends actually spoke to her before she agreed to back off.
It was an issue that was sorted diplomatically and with friendships left intact.

Aaargh!

SGB - I have realised with horror that I quite like your idea of an OAPs holiday. Oh my god - I have turned into my mother.

I like raeding books, eating out and drinking wine, and I like going out to pubs and going out dancing. Nothing wrong with either of those kinds of holidays. It is not as if she was talking about going out and having sex with lots of men every night.

I do think that those who denigrate other people's ideas of enjoyment, are very judgemental.

I think it's normal to be a bit surprised if a woman in her mid to late forties expects or assumes that a group of similar aged friends are going to want to be going out clubbing and pubbing every night on holidays. I would be pissed off if someone came on holidays with me and expected that.

OP, glad it was all sorted out so civilly. You handled the situation very well. And cheers to your friend's husband too. He obviously has no illusions about his DW.

TBH I wonder why some people go on holiday at all. Surely you can drink wine and sit looking at your bedroom wall at home and save the money.

I don't think you're being entirely serious SGB, but I go on holiday for the sunshine, swimming in warm sea, fresh seafood and beautiful scenery. I get none of that at home, whereas I do get quite a lot of going to bars and even the odd club when I'm at home so don't really feel the need. I have been to the major clubs in Ibiza and I honestly prefer smaller places local to me. I do stay up late when I'm away with friends, but it's much more likely we'll be the last to leave the restaurant rather than the club because we've gone away to catch up and talk to each other.

Looking at most people asleep on sunbeds around the pool I'd say most people go on holiday for a rest.

Glad it's all sorted OP

Actually SGB - maybe some of us spend most nights out clubbing and partying, and need a holiday to rest and recuperate?

Actually (not directly related to OP's holiday plans at all) I do remember thinking from time to time when I was on holiday in the past that some fellow guests might as well have stayed at home - all they did was sit round the hotel pool or in the bar. Didn't even go to the beach let alone look round the area (Amalfi coast, gorgeous, loads of beaches, loads of shops, lovely scenery etc).

My friend and I went on holiday for a rest, sat and chatted, swam, did some paperwork we'd brought with us, exercised, ate etc. The family who sat near us spent EVERY SINGLE DAY sleeping on sun loungers, in full sun. They only woke up to booze (copiously). By the end of the week they were blistered and red, and seriously hung over. Now that's a sad holiday.

To be honest, your holiday seem like my kind of heaven.

What is the point of clubbing if you have the best ever company already? Married 40 something year old women dont need to go on the pull in a club.

A group of friends to explore, relax, wine and dine with, peace and quiet, nice weather, sunshine, cook together, wine on the terrace ....

It would be my dream holiday. No real chores, no children to sort, no husband to think about, just be me with my friends without any obligation in any direction, bliss. No need to think about sunlotion, water, lunch, for anybody but myself. My mind would be tranquil.

In fact, I think I should book myself into spa just on my own. Or take a tent out to the mountains. Just me, my campfire, my fishing rod and my coffee.