Re this woman coming on holidays

[Daisymasie]

A group of us who have been friends for years are thinking of going away for a week in the sun together. However, one of the group keeps talking about clubs and nightlife and where 'the good bars' are. We're all mid to late forties and the rest of us have absolutely no interest in that kind of holiday - most of us can't remember the last time we were in a nightclub.

We really just want a relaxing holiday chilling by the pool with good books, going out for something nice to eat in the evenings, maybe have a bottle of wine on one or other balcony - that kind of thing.

AWBU to think this woman is being a bit immature and to be regretting we've included her. We've known her for a few years but not as long as each other. We knew she liked a good social life but didn't realise she still associated a 'girls holiday' with clubbing and pubbing.

Have you got any brochures ? If not it may be worth googling the resort you have in mind so that she knows you are serious when you all say"No clubbing".

Also are you planning to go to a hotel or a villa? I'd make damn sure that even if she says that a low-key holiday is fine, I wouldn't be the one to share a room with her as if I was going away without DH & DS sleep and relaxation would be top of my agenda and I could do without someone clunking in at 2am.

We do a ladies ski trip every couple of years and the set up sounds similar to what you are planning. We ski during the day and then relax in the chalet in the evening - no amount of persuasion gets us out for drinks, we can do that inside !

OT but have you considered a villa holiday instead of a resort? Private pool self catering, and perhaps more freedom to live it up as your wee group rather than being confined by other people. Go somewhere where there are decent bars, and you can reach a compromise between nights in around the pool/BBQ, and perhaps catching a World Cup match at a decent bar.

Worth a thought perhaps, owners direct is a handy website which I've used in the past and always had a great villa holiday.

Surely a bit of compromise is all that's needed if you are all friends.

So she wants to go for a night out on holiday, have a few drinks and let her hair down. Its hardly an unusual request is it. Surely you could all go for a couple of nights out. Youre 40 not in your 80's. I can understand why the prospect of sitting in someone's room every night is not appealing. Why not do a bit of both. You never know, you might actually enjoy yourself.

Talk about it now at the planning stage! You have to talk now to save arguments.

Wow - it's thinking and not booked, had assumed was booked - I'd seriously say something now to save an upset friend.

I'd sort of be surprised though, is this what she normally does at home/on holiday? How comes this pubbing/clubbing side has been raised now?

Is this what she sees as an essential party of a girly holiday?

If all of you but one want a strictly chill-out holiday, cant you just say? If you're so grown up?!

I'd rather go with her

I wouldn't Grass, talk about the oldest swinger in town. I am early forties and I turn into a pumpkin if still out past the stroke of midnight.

Christmas almighty, do some people just curl up and die at 40 then.

She'd hardly be the oldest swinger in town. My parents are in their 70s and have no problem having a night out in a few bars on holiday, or staying out past midnight.

Christ that should be haha

I hadnt picked up that you were going to a hotel rather than an apartment or villa. Can't think of anything worse than a group of women packed into one single balcony 'enjoying' a bottle of wine. You'll need an apartment if you don't want to go out at night because otherwise there's no communal space.

Just because people don't want to hang out in bars and clubs with twenty somethings doesn't mean they've turned into geriatrics. The vast majority of 40somethings I know would rather the type of holiday the OP has described than the one her friend seems to be envisaging. They probably have busy and stressful lives at home and just want the opportunity to relax with no one asking them for lifts, or where their clean t shirt is, or having to squeeze a trip to the supermarket in on the way home from work, or feeling guilty if they sit down for a while to read a book because they really should be hoovering, visiting their sick aunt, etc etc

And XiCi, six out of the seven want to chill on the balcony at night with a few glasses of wine. You might find that boring, but tons of people (myself included) would find that bliss.

Wilson it depends on the hotel. I've had hotel rooms with huge balconies where a group of us could sit out and have dinner.

I think you are doing the right thing. It really might not be an issue and once you explain and she might still really look forward to the holiday.

It's very sensible to sort this out now so much better to clarify things rather than go on holiday and end up getting frustrated with each other.

Hope the talk is going well.

Lots of hotels hAve large balconies.

Your holiday sounds like heaven.

I've been there, done that with clubbing holidays. All I want now is sun, restaurants, books and the odd cocktail!

Your holiday sounds like heaven.

I've been there, done that with clubbing holidays. All I want now is sun, restaurants, books and the odd cocktail!

I'd like to go on holiday with her. Is she free at the end of August?

Sounds like a lovely relaxing holiday! I'd love that myself! Maybe you can compromise with one night where you go to a karaoke bar or whatever? You never know you might like one evening out somewhere for a change of scene.

Why don't you just book somewhere like Pollensa then that has absolutely no nightclubs.

Why don't you 'mature' ones book yourselves a nice coach tour round a couple of garden centres, with maybe an afternoon of bowls or a visit to a stately home thrown in, and let your friend take herself off to Ibiza?

Oooof, why the hostility, solidgoldbrass ?

Sounds like you're denigrating all of them

Necessary SGB?

She sounds very tiresome; the way she is just going on about "oh you'll want to let your hair down" etc would make me want to tell her to fuck off and not come. Good luck with The Chat......

"I hadn't picked up that you were going to a hotel rather than an apartment or villa. Can't think of anything worse than a group of women packed into one single balcony 'enjoying' a bottle of wine. You'll need an apartment if you don't want to go out at night because otherwise there's no communal space."

And you wouldn't have a fridge to chill the wine in. I think an apartment sounds more fun if there are a group of you.

SGB Why don't you go on holiday with the oldest swinger in town, and I will take her place . I like old gimmer holidays.

Everybody is different though and tbh I don't like the sound of any of the groups idea of a good holiday.
I am past the night club stage but certainly not into the book, wine and bed, that is so boring.
Just shows that we are all different.