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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the age of consent should stay at 16?

66 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 11/05/2014 00:14

I know that there has been talk of lowering it but I wholeheartedly disagree. Most 16 year olds cannot cope with the emotional side of sex and relationships. I lost mine at 16 but wish I'd waited till 18 tbh.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 11/05/2014 00:15

I think the whole sex education thing needs a complete overhaul before there is any talk of lowering the age of consent.

turgiday · 11/05/2014 00:15

I had no idea there was talk of lowering it. I agree with you.

JennySense · 11/05/2014 00:16

To be honest I'd be more in favour of raising it. Legal ages are all over the place imho.

raffle · 11/05/2014 00:18

Who is talking about lowering it? Do you have a link?

AgentZigzag · 11/05/2014 00:18

I don't think the fact that it's at 16 means a whole lot to a couple of teenagers deciding on whether they want to have sex or not, but surely lowering it would suggest it's OK for younger children to be trying it out.

I would have thought (given how they've gone with alcohol/fags) that they would want to put it up not down Confused what reason do 'they' use to say why they want it lowered? (I've never come across anyone saying it in RL).

BertieBotts · 11/05/2014 00:21

The age of consent most likely has no bearing on teenagers, isn't it more to protect vulnerable younger people from predatory abusive older partners? I agree it should not be lowered. I would support a law about age gaps too that went up to a higher age.

TucsonGirl · 11/05/2014 00:21

Probably should be lowered to 14 but with a +/- of 2 years for under 18s. Don't think it is ok at all for older men (or women) to be having sex with 16 year olds. But wholly raising the AOC to 18 would be ridiculous.

turgiday · 11/05/2014 00:24

Tucson, there already exists police guidelines for how they deal with under 16;s having sex. If both partners are teenagers very close in age, they won't take any action.

The age of consent was originally brought in because of child prostitution/rape. If the age of consent is lowered, girls of 14/15 will be "working" in brothels.

ThingsThatShine · 11/05/2014 00:25

I think 16 is a sensible age. 18 is I think unrealistically high and younger than 16 does seem young as it may pressure young people into thinking they should be doing it younger.

somedizzywhore1804 · 11/05/2014 00:27

Agree re the older partners thing. At 16 I was sleeping with a 30 year old. I'm sure that any psychological damage done- and there definitely was some- was because of his age, not the sex. I'm sure if I'd been shagging an 18 year old it would have been fine.

Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 11/05/2014 00:27

14???? Nooooooooooooooooo!
This was in the news about 6 months ago as a proposal. Forgive me for the delayed reaction!

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 11/05/2014 00:28

I agree ThingsThatShine. For that reason alone it shouldn't be lowered.

YouTheCat · 11/05/2014 00:29

I like the Canadian system tbh which involves ranges for different ages.

I remember 14 year olds when I was a teen who had been together for a year and were responsible and everything. I also remember a 12 year old with a 19 year old bf who was totally being exploited.

turgiday · 11/05/2014 00:30

14? No that would be a disaster. It would make it legal for a 14 year old girl and 30 year old man to have sex.

AgentZigzag · 11/05/2014 00:31

The only person I've ever seen saying they think the age of consent should be lowered to 14 was Johnathan King Hmm so no ulterior motive there then.

AdoraBell · 11/05/2014 00:37

YANBU and if I had the power I would raise it to 21, not that it would make much difference to the average teen.

I also wasn't mature enough at 16.

AgentZigzag · 11/05/2014 00:40

Fuck 21 Adora, raise it to 35.

It'd save a whole load of shit for the majority of the adult population Grin

AdoraBell · 11/05/2014 00:44
Grin
Handsoff7 · 11/05/2014 00:47

I think it should be graduated based on age of partner.

So something like:
14 with a partner 16 or younger
16 with a partner 18 or younger
18 with a partner over 20.

Our current law which technically criminalises two 15 year olds (even if nothing would happen in practise) and allows a 50 year old to sleep with someone on the day he or she turns 16 makes little sense.

YouTheCat · 11/05/2014 00:49

I think that's how it works in Canada though the age thing might extend to 21 but I can't remember exactly.

AdoraBell · 11/05/2014 00:54

Handsoff7 you've articulated it much better than I did.

What I was trying to get at was a definite line between adult and adolescent.

Lara2 · 11/05/2014 07:04

Handsoff7, that makes so much sense!
I first had sex at 14, with a 16 year old. It seemed like a good idea at the time, we were both curious. In hindsight (wonderful thing) it was way too young - but a 16 year old partner was better than an 18 year old!

If my own experience is anything to go by, teenagers are going to have sex whatever the law says - it's about protecting them from older partners. My parents had brought us up in a very clear no sex until marriage culture, but it made no difference - of course they never knew.

DogCalledRudis · 11/05/2014 09:40

I don't get why people think that older partners are exploitative/abusive. Same age partners are capable of exactly the same.

MrsWolowitz · 11/05/2014 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sassysally · 11/05/2014 09:48

I think it should be lowered maybe to 14 or certainly to 15 but with a maximum age separation for those under 18

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