To ask what you feel a Real Grown Up should have under control, but you just....don't (lighthearted)

[ocelot41]

The whereabouts of the feather duster. Parking (of any sort). An accurate record of the dates of the birthdays of every member of my gloriously massive and sprawling extended family. Knowledge of my blood type.

The state of my loft, filing cabinets, sex life, toe nails. The ability to fix a leaky overflow pipe or bake a cake (either would do).

Does anyone else have this kind of internal ticker tape of things they think they should have cracked by now but just...don’t? Please come be a bit useless with me...

I change the bed linen on a Friday and put it in the wash on a Friday night. I then wash everything else on a Saturday so I can iron it all on Monday so there are clean clothes for work.
The house is clean and tidy because I have a cleaner.
I don't meal plan because I never know what I'm going to feel like.

However, I don't feel like a real grown up because I don't have DC. I am a teacher and I always feel like the mums are more grown up and better than me despite me being about twice their age.

This thread has remind me of this from Calvin and Hobbes just after their house got burgled:

For those who like Haribo, I have only today learned that there is a Haribo ice lolly. Available in Tesco allegedly.

Am very excited by Haribo discussion and considering a trip to the newsagents. I know I shouldn't eat them as I am technically a vegetarian but I crave them!

You need M & S veggie Percy Pigs and or Colin Caterpillars. Also there is a company called Goody Good Stuff who make veggie cola bottles and the like.

I can bake a cake, and sew on a button, but can't buy clothes or shoes that look good, and have no ideas re hair and makeup. Small talk is also beyond me.

I keep wondering when I'll be a grown up. I'm married with two small children, but still feel 18.

Last night I drank copious amounts gin and tonic with the neighbours, and i felt a flicker of being an adult.

However we ran out of milk and i was too lazy to get some. So I've just had breakfast. No idea about tea.

I'm rubbish at budgeting, and i need to pay off debts. Maybe then I'll feel like an adult.

I have just had to do small talk. I am mulling the conversation over and over and trying to remember if I said anything stupid.

As Poofus said periods, I am determined to diarise them and not be caught out (every month) before they stop. An ablation seems too much.

I have seen Haribo cupcakes and a birthday cake in Tesco. I prefer foamy banana myself.

DH loves Sherbert Fountains.

I nearly died eating a flying saucer

I was 23!

At 36 I should be able to look after sort the clothes washing for me DH and 2 DC but I just fail at it. Socks go missing, panic trying to wash and tumble dry pe kits at midnight, piles of ironing then when I try to iron I just iron creases in. Wet clothes alway hanging on radiators.

Pipbin, Holland and Barratt hide lovely Neal's Yard vegetarian jelly sweets in their snack section. In some shops they get stocked with the sweets. Little black packets, expensive, but the best substitute for the Haribo fun for miles.
I am good at advice about sweets

laundry!!!

Oh God, just my whole life!!! And I'm in my 50's! I keep wondering when it's all going to fall into into place and I'll be a proper grown-up
I have a friend, same age as me, who has absolutely everything sorted - seriously. Her house is gorgeous - she makes all the curtains etc. She also works and yet it all gets done - no help from anyone. She and her DH have all their money, retirement plans sorted. I feel so inadequate in comparison! She comes to my house and we have to wade through the mess (it's usually the end of term and I'm knackered, so it's all built up in time for the massive clear up in the holidays) and the galling thing is I bloody know that her house is looking fab even though we do the same job!!!!!
I love her hugely though!

Yrs but Lara, does she feel like an adult???

I have a new one to add today. Biscuits. I will know that I am a Real Grown up when I can keep a packet of biscuits in the house and have one or two, and then (responsibly, maturely) leave the rest for another day or for guests. Rather than say, scarfing the lot.

I went to go kiss my eldest goodnight last night (he is 4) and he raised one eyebrow (yes, he can do that at 4!) and said 'Muuuummy! Is that chocolate I can smell?'

Busted.

Noooo. You know those mini packets they make for kids lunch boxes??? Well, surely the bigger packets are for grownup lunch boxes?? 25 chocolate digestives, anyone?

My life! How do some people manage to be organised and have time to think about how they're bringing up their kids,I barely managed to survive!

I should also be doing something about the pile of housework and dirty house I've got rather than being on here! Also the pile of craft projects I've got lined up for me, dd, dd's dolls, the house... Oh well.

Addicted to sugar

Be tidy. I have never, ever in my entire life met anyone as messy as me. (I'm untidy/messy rather than dirty though - all my stuff and room etc is clean!)
Be organised for my completely unpredictable periods by being, y'know, proactive.
own enough underwear to be able to wear whatever I like and not have my outfits ruled by my pants.
Throw out and replace laddered tights.
have clear skin (damn you acne).
Be able to make myself go to the pitoftorture gym in order to be a healthy person even though I don't enjoy it.
To bot be so obsessed by the numbers on my clothes - they don't mean anything but they matter hugely to me.
Replace my toiletries, shampoo etc BEFORE they run out.

I've killed every plant I have ever owned.

I have a washing pile the size of Everest and no matter how many times I try to get on top of it it always defeats me.

I haven't got that pulled together look that grown ups have. I never look well groomed. I'm clean obviously, but not particularly stylish or well presented. I still don't really know what suits my body shape.

My dm still buys cards on my behalf for birthdays etc as im not grown up enough to remember everything.

I have never thrown a dinner party.

I regularly let my car run down to less than 10 miles of petrol and my dm reminds me when it needs servicing or the mot is coming up.

I don't pair up socks or iron anything.

I'm generally failing in pretty much all aspects of being a grown up really.

Housework and cooking. I feel like I'm an eternal student sometimes.

My house, the washing, my beauty regime

Everything

Getting on and doing stuff instead of procrastinating
Keeping my house proper clean instead of just surface clean (see above)
Being sociable/more extrovert
Being a more responsible parent, I just can't find it in myself to give a shit if the dc eat all their easter eggs in one day. Once they're gone they're gone.
Not swearing
Being properly organised (see point one)
Keeping on top of filing (see point one)
Ironing, I go through stages of ironing. And then stop bothering again.

I would actually love to be someone who has a spotless house (including inside cupboards/behind radiators etc), who has a fully stocked larder so they can effortlessly rustle up lunch for 10 and cakes for afternoon tea, who has outfits for every occasion and knows what to wear when without any angst but the truth is I'm far too lazy. I work hard at work and keep my house passable to good but when I have a couple of hours free I'd rather read a book than file my paperwork. That's how I think I'll be when I grow up.

I still get a little frisson of feeling grown up when anyone refers to "your son/daughter"

I love that you guys are talking about washing. A few years ago I went and bought three laundry baskets (the fabric fold down ones) the woman asked me why I had so many. I told her I wanted to sort through my massive pile of dirty washing and put it neatly in these baskets. She was disgusted that I even had dirty washing. Let alone a pile of it