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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you feel a Real Grown Up should have under control, but you just....don't (lighthearted)

149 replies

ocelot41 · 09/05/2014 22:19

The whereabouts of the feather duster. Parking (of any sort). An accurate record of the dates of the birthdays of every member of my gloriously massive and sprawling extended family. Knowledge of my blood type.

The state of my loft, filing cabinets, sex life, toe nails. The ability to fix a leaky overflow pipe or bake a cake (either would do).

Does anyone else have this kind of internal ticker tape of things they think they should have cracked by now but just...don’t? Please come be a bit useless with me...

OP posts:
Original poster
ocelot41 · 09/05/2014 23:13

Question: does anyone actually DO meal planning? Or is it one of those much talked about myths like enjoyable child birth? I mean occasionally very occasionally I go on an organisation kick and do spreadsheets and everything.

But then, things just never work out that way. The Asda man drops all the yoghurt, or only brings kumquats, or the kids decide they hate the meal they loved last week or...it just never works out. I think I have an inner thwarted Monica...

OP posts:
Coldlightofday · 09/05/2014 23:13

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NickNackNooToYou · 09/05/2014 23:14

General chit chat without sarcasm, swearing or over the top arm movements.

My children assure me I am grown up but I certainly don't feel it in total denial about my impending 40th Grin

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 09/05/2014 23:14

Good one magi Grin

My car is a shit tip on wheels, plus anything other than putting fuel into it I ask DH as I can't be bothered to learn how.

In my defence I'm very good at DIY, plumbing etc but for some reason when it comes to cars I just want it to get me from A to B and sod the rest!

Oh and eating habits - have just polished a family sized bag of m&m's to myself today and generally eat like a self indulgent teenager despite knowing it'll catch up with me - and soon but boy am I enjoying it! Grin

Raskova · 09/05/2014 23:15

What the fuck is a kumquat?

Stripytop · 09/05/2014 23:15

I meal plan, but nobody ever fancies eating what I've planned.

Coldlightofday · 09/05/2014 23:16

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notso · 09/05/2014 23:16

Me too Stripytop!

DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution · 09/05/2014 23:16

I meal plan! I'm more grown up than you ner ner.

It's only as we're trying to save lots.

Raskova · 09/05/2014 23:17

If you don't mean an orange, is it a clementine? Otherwise I'm stumped. Google...

Stripytop · 09/05/2014 23:17

Kumquat is dh's favourite word Hmm

Raskova · 09/05/2014 23:18

Looks like a grapefruit to me

HauntedNoddyCar · 09/05/2014 23:18

Cleaning beyond hoovering
Homework
Dd's hair. Other girls have nice plaits or buns. I only do ponytail or wonky other stuff.
Work. I'm winging it. Barely.

Please keep this up. I reassure myself that everyone is skating on thin ice in several areas!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 09/05/2014 23:18

It is tinier than a clementine.

RhondaJean · 09/05/2014 23:19

i can be tidy but it's at the expense of everything else

Yes! This is me!

Original poster
ocelot41 · 09/05/2014 23:19

Impending 40th here too. (Maybe that is what all of this is about?)
Coldlightofday I have to look that stuff up to. Actually I even have a sticker with my phone no on it ON my phone in order to prevent those embarrassing ’I’ll call you back, what's your number?’ moments. AND my brain spontaneously dumps pin numbers when I am tired which is quite a lot of the time.

OP posts:
DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution · 09/05/2014 23:19

Watching mastermind/university challenge and being able to answer proper questions, not just Simpsons or Other 'low brow' stuff.
If I were stuck in a life with Paxman, he'd probably scoff & eyeroll me to death.

Stripytop · 09/05/2014 23:20

Omg haunted, you are me!

RhondaJean · 09/05/2014 23:20

I thought everyone on MN does meal planning except me

Although I am planning my Indian take away for tomorrow night, does that count?

Shenanagins · 09/05/2014 23:21

I meal plan...but am not allowed to the supermarket to buy the ingredients as I always get stuck in the sweet section! Luckily my oh doesn't have this problem.

SummerRain · 09/05/2014 23:22

I had to give people a lift from one site to another at work recently. My car was full of rubbish, mud, bits of food.... it was mortifying Blush

How do other people have such nice clean cars? I just don't get it!

Stripytop · 09/05/2014 23:23

No Rhonda, that doesn't count. That is secondary meal planning for when your primary meal planning has gone tits up and everyone is refusing to eat Jamie Oliver's Sicilian stew. not that that ever happens in my house

Original poster
ocelot41 · 09/05/2014 23:24

Nicknack yes to sweatiness as well. I had to trick eldest DC who is at the stage of copying everything I say and who overheard me trying to find my keys while chanting ’Bugger, bugger, bugger’.

He now chants ’Bucket, bucket, BUCKET’ with feeling whenever he is feeling a tad..ahem..frustrated.

OP posts:
Original poster
ocelot41 · 09/05/2014 23:26

Oh bucket. That should have been sweariness. Obviously. My arm pits are, strangely, pretty well-behaved by and large.

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EatShitDerek · 09/05/2014 23:26

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