To ask what you feel a Real Grown Up should have under control, but you just....don't (lighthearted)

[ocelot41]

The whereabouts of the feather duster. Parking (of any sort). An accurate record of the dates of the birthdays of every member of my gloriously massive and sprawling extended family. Knowledge of my blood type.

The state of my loft, filing cabinets, sex life, toe nails. The ability to fix a leaky overflow pipe or bake a cake (either would do).

Does anyone else have this kind of internal ticker tape of things they think they should have cracked by now but just...don’t? Please come be a bit useless with me...

I have recently found the wonderful tesco denture tablets. Stick two down the toilet at night, in the morning toilet looks amazing, all lime scale gone. I admit I did this for a couple of weeks before it all went, however for 90p for 30 tablets this is such a bargain I do it every week and my toilets look lush.

Must say that I heard this tip years ago but have only just managed to do it....!!!

Stripy you may be right :) I fail at going to bed when DH is away.

I do meal plan and Iron weekly

My cars always a tip too.

Other people seem to find all this stuff easy...

Another one who has to be told it's bedtime, stripytop. I'm a night owl, so would happily sit up all night.

I found moss on my car last week. Yes really.

I do not do meal-planning. Have tried and failed, DH is the king of "I don't fancy that tonight, let's order a pizza!"

[approaching-40 emoticon]

I iron, but only the front of everything. My car is very clean and shiny on the inside [smug] but only because I never use it.
The outside however, is covered in birdshit.

things i have not yet learnt to do; (but had assumed i would be able to do as a grown up, i live in hope that one morning i will wake up with organised added to my life, like you know, boobs, spots and body hair and such)
maintaining clean environment. i do blitzes occaisionally and no ones died of food poisoning (so far) but the place is always untidy. stuff does not really have a place and if it did have it wouldn't be there anyway (iykwim)
a weekly shop - where i have everything and have no need to do couple of top-ups due to forgetting milk or gravy
wearing outfits rather than clothes, with co-ordinating shoes and bags, i think scarves may be key but i feel like a trying too hard twat
going to bed and rising at a sensible hour, i want to wake up like cinderella all bird song and cheerfulness am more like monster rising from pit
knowing what to say, my small talk skills are awful i am so awkward
sensible eating, seriously i would start every day with cake if my arse wasn't so big (sigh)
have three children & a mortgage, how the hell did that happen - i still play on the swings!!

I've got parking nailed, can fix virtually anything, plumbing/ gas/ electric related as well as basic car mechanics and joinery skills and I can both cook and bake, drive 7.5 tonne lorrys, tractors, help a ewe in lamb, a cow in calf, mare in foal etc, handle any caliber of bore or gauge firearm put in front of me and hand rear anything that looks like it wont make it.

The list of things I have yet to master is much much longer: housework, not shrinking clothes in the washing machine, not dying them in the tumble dryer, dusting, ironing, not walking through the house with mucky farm wellies on, building anything from ikea, dyson hoovers (I hate the damn thing), cleaning toilets or baths to that 'sparkle' that everyone else seems to get, cleaning blinds, cleaning the oven, making a bed (as in putting the duvet inside the covers - still takes me at least 10 mins), the ability to walk in heels, scrubbing up in any form of socially acceptable (not in overalls, old jeans and hoodie and manky work boots or wellies)

I suppose the thing I am most proud of is the nonchalant look I can wear when the inlaws visit and have their disapproving looks on. I may not have mastered these things but as long as I am on some sort of level with them then that's all that matters. I happen to like the stuff I'm good at and don't really care so much about the other stuff

I actually cannot use the telly properly. i have not developed my telly skills since mastering the remote control back in 198?. I can turn it on and off and change channels, but anything like putting a video on or recording something is beyond me. Have to ask the 8 yr old to do it.

And of course now I need glasses, but won't buy any cos I'll just lose them, I can't see the buttons on the remote anyway.

Just stickin with my wireless these days.

Periods.

Coo Lanabelle! I'll trade you some laundry for nonchalance lessons! (But give up on Dysons, they are the Work of Satan).

Filing - ugh

This is making me snigger very quietly..only because DH is asleep next to me and it would be mean to wake him up by laughing loudly grown up for once I am a little scared at recognising nearly all of these...

Poofus. Ablation. Sorted.

I can park and do all sorts of fabulous technical and diy stuff.

I am terrifyingly grown-up by some of the standards being set here. I file, I meal-plan, my ironing is always, always, up-to-date. But I cannot for the life of me keep a store of wine in the house. I have literally no idea how anyone who uses a car on a regular basis can keep it clean. And small talk, like a proper functioning adult? No. I'm not shy, I'm just teenagery-awkward and lazy.

I changed the fuse in a plug the other day.

My parking is always spot on. I can reverse bay park that bitch better than any man because I know how big an inch really is

I've painted a few walls

Tonight I marinated chicken

Feel more grown up now

I can park too. I am brilliant at it. However I struggle to stay awake at the wheel on motorways, hence I don't drive much. When I do I have to constantly eat sweets to stay awake.

Ooh I can...

Run in heels

Build anything from ikea

Use my dyson (but I prefer not to)

My parking is always spot on. I can reverse bay park that bitch better than any man because I know how big an inch really is

Hurray! You have helped me find something I am properly grown up about Brecon! There is always an amply stocked wine rack in our house!

Soft drinks? Not so much. Milk and herbal tea. Oh and tonic water (for the gin).

I guess my username says it all!!
Ever optimistic that one day it will all fall into place!

Loving sweatiness/sweariness too.

I wish I could put clothes away.

I have no idea how to put make up on and I'm 50. The makeup stands in Boots and department stores are far too complicated for me. I'd love to be able to look vaguely presentable instead of shiny. I've had makeup lessons but I'm still clueless.

Run in heels? Run? I can't bloody walk in them.

Oh I can build Ikea stuff and I have a proper fuck off drill.