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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

because I am a woman, in a car, in a petrol station?

38 replies

Nomama · 09/05/2014 19:08

Cos the stupid bastard who drove round me and the car behind me to get to the empty pump in front of us certainly thought so.

I have no problem with the fact that he drove round us to get to an empty pump, that makes sense and I do it too.

But did he have to say, as I walked passed, 'If you wait a minute, love, I will pay and get out of your way'?

A bit pissed off, I did respond, 'I am perfectly capable of driving round you', adding a stern teacher's glare. Did he look embarrassed, did he feck? He said ' but it would be much easier for you if you don't have to'.

The bloke parked behind me walked past and snorted at this point. I glared at him, ready to bark and he said' don't look at me, he's the one being a prat'.

I smiled, and we both drove round the dickhead, still filling his car.

Also, AIBU because I didn't slap him, cry or fall to my knees and thank him?

I am not annoyed, not annoyed..... the hell I am not!

OP posts:
MrsMaturin · 09/05/2014 19:11

I expect he thought you'd like him to drive your car for you too. He could do it easily, being a man you see.

Gosh you harpy, you! I bet you know how to open the flap cover too don't you? You'll never keep a man being so independent!

Hmm Grin
Sirzy · 09/05/2014 19:11

I can't help but laugh at men who assume women can't drive.

My next door neighbour has a van which is often partially blocking our drive making it need a wiggle for me to get off (not a problem we get on well and he will move it if needed) - he has long since stopped offering to move it when he sees me coming out as he now realises that I am more than capable of wiggling around him.

AgentSchraeder · 09/05/2014 19:13

I can't see a massive problem tbh. From what you've said he was being polite and friendly and you responded rudely. Did you leave out some details like a very condescending tone, or something?

MoreSkyThanWeNeed · 09/05/2014 19:13

Did he brandish the petrol pump like a penis? 'Cos he's got one and you don't and he clearly wanted to make sure you knew that.

What a plonker. I probably be a bit annoyed with him then would have stalled as I drove away

windchime · 09/05/2014 19:14

Well, I would have been grateful. I would have got in a tizz having to drive around him.

Catsize · 09/05/2014 19:14

My aunty hass her class 1 HGV licence. Her husband won't 'let' her reverse into a driveway in their car.

Sirzy · 09/05/2014 19:15

Agent - why did he need to say anything? The op had shown no signs of not being able to get out had she? So why the need to 'offer'

NigellasDealer · 09/05/2014 19:15

cannot really see your beef really, people are dicks....with penises and without....

PosyFossilsShoes · 09/05/2014 19:15

I think it was terribly brave of him to allow you to drive round his car, given that your dreadful XX-chromosome spatial awareness means you probably took off his wing mirror and half his paint. Give the man a break here. Wink

AnyFucker · 09/05/2014 19:15

I don't really get this

peacegardens · 09/05/2014 19:20

But it would have been easier, surely? For a man or woman. Why would you be offended.

AlpacaLypse · 09/05/2014 19:20

What he actually said was perfectly reasonable. I'm willing to believe it might have come over as condescending, depending on his body language and tone.

And I've finally trained DP to get out and swap seats with me if we get home, he's been the driver, and the space available on the street is less than about 20 feet long. Yes he's very good at steady 80 on the motorway but he's had to accept that I am truly a goddess of parallel parking (although only of pre 2005 models of Renault Scenics...)

CatsCantTwerk · 09/05/2014 19:21

I dont understand?

AgentSchraeder · 09/05/2014 19:31

Im a great driver. Its still easier to drive in a straight line than round a large object. So, again, unless he was a smarmy twat with the delivery, his actual words are not problematic IMO I wasn't there, though, so...

AnyFucker · 09/05/2014 19:32

I guess you had to be there Smile

RevoltingPeasant · 09/05/2014 19:32

Ah OP you would live my neighbour. Last winter when I was trying to get to work at seven in the morning, he decided to come out and give me a tutorial on how to defrost my windscreen.

Because, after sixteen years of driving in North America and Switzerland, I hadn't quite cracked that one yet.

RevoltingPeasant · 09/05/2014 19:32

Love

Original poster
Nomama · 09/05/2014 19:33

Oh... OK. Maybe it was the word love, or the fact that he had only just started to fill his car, or maybe it was the BIG space to the left of us, the drive out lane, that was utterly empty.

Maybe it was his tone of voice, maybe it was the way he stopped pumping petrol and stepped out to the side and watched me drive passed his car, hands all a flutter and a strained, anxious look on his face.

Maybe I was reading too much into it!!!

He was an absolute prat. No doubt about it.

OP posts:
Thistledew · 09/05/2014 19:38

I get it. Why would he assume that it was less convenient for you to (perhaps) reverse about a metre, then turn your steering wheel to manoeuvre around him, than it would be to sit there like a lemon and wait for him to stop filling up and pay for his petrol. Hands up anyone who thinks he would have made the same offer to a bloke?

Original poster
Nomama · 09/05/2014 19:39

Revolting, I'd lay a wager that your neighbour and this prat had nothing on the bloke I used to work with.

We were leaving work and he asked me if I could give him a jump start. Yes I said, I even have a set of long leads in the car, so it shouldn't be a problem.

I got the cables, parked my car behind his and got out. He looked at me and said it would be better if I parked my car with the bonnet closest to his car. I said no, it was better with the boot closest. I opened the boot and fiddled with the carpet cover.

He said to a passing colleague that he knew he should have waited for a man to help him and pointed at daft little old me looking for my car's battery in the boot, ha ha!

I pointed to the rear mounted engine, the battery, now exposed, and reminded him that the fucking car and cables were mine. Put the carpet back down, threw the cables into the boot and left him to it.

He was definitely a prat too!

OP posts:
BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 09/05/2014 19:43

I don't really get it either BUT I am perfectly prepared to say YANBU as I too have met complete prats where it's all in the delivery and really hard to explain 'cold' why they were ABSOLUTE KNOBLINGTONS.

Btw when faced with a condescending 'love' (or similar) I always use 'poppet' in my reply*

  • NB have lived in Yorkshire and have no beef with the vast majority of 'loves' or 'ducks'.
WitchWay · 09/05/2014 19:46

I had once finished filling up & as I started to go to pay, the bloke in the van behind (who couldn't get to the pump till I moved) asked me to move up. I declined as there are signs saying pay first then move, & he couldn't have used the pump anyway till I'd payed. He went berserk, calling me all sorts of foul names, squeezed past me in his van & had his mate help him reverse right up to within an inch of my front bumper to block me in! The two of them leant against the van with folded arms till I returned. Twats. I reversed neatly back, folded in the "ears" & squeezed past them and flicked the Vs Unbelievable!

WitchWay · 09/05/2014 19:47

Paid not Payed - wtf!

BravePotato · 09/05/2014 19:53

I would just say :"great"

and move on, and still drive around him.

But then I am very good at keeping my bloodpressure down

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 09/05/2014 19:54

I drive a very large car, and once when I had reversed into a space and got out of the car, an older chap stood and clapped, saying "Well Done ". I did smile politely, but inwardly seethed - condescending git

Would he have done the same for a man? I think not

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