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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's out of order to announce the birth of someone else's baby on their Facebook page

85 replies

Babyspoileralert · 07/05/2014 18:55

NC as I've been ranting about this all day at work!

A very good friend of mine had a baby yesterday and she texted a few friends and family to announce this and tell us the name.

Another friend then went onto the Facebook Timeline of the new mum and basically said congratulations on the arrival of 'baby's name' before they'd had a chance to announce it publicly themselves.

I understand that some people hate Facebook full stop but isn't it out of order to publicly announce someone else's very special news like that?

OP posts:
Mintyy · 07/05/2014 18:57

Yes.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 07/05/2014 18:57

Maybe mum and dad asked her to?

TaurielTest · 07/05/2014 18:58

Yes, completely out of order.

mrsbucketxx · 07/05/2014 18:58

Yanbu

my cousin posted pics of ds before more I did wasn't happy and she removed them sharpish

Inconsiderate

DoItTooJulia · 07/05/2014 18:59

That's what timeline review is for!

YANBU. How desperate and unthinking.

DIYtrainee · 07/05/2014 18:59

YES!!!!!

My bloody sister did this and I am STILL seething, 4 1/2 years later........

PrincessBabyCat · 07/05/2014 18:59

My mom kept giving people updates about my prenatal appointments before I could on her fb. I just told her to stop, and let me do it first.

She was just excited to have a grandchild. It wasn't anything malicious, and she wasn't thinking about anything else besides her excitement when she posted something. But she respected my wishes and it was smooth sailing from there.

Babies are exciting. People get excited. But they should try and contain it and wait for the mother to take the lead for announcements. :)

MsAspreyDiamonds · 07/05/2014 18:59

maybe they didn't know that it wasn't public news just yet. Are the parents annoyed by the congratulations.

Wishfulmakeupping · 07/05/2014 19:01

I've seen this happen a few times lately- how can people be so thoughtless?! So inconsiderate I would have been fuming if this would have happened when I had dd

TaurielTest · 07/05/2014 19:01

Someone did this to my SIL when my niece arrived. She and my DB did not appreciate having their thunder stolen, and it's made me feel rather Hmm about the me-me-me person who posted it ever since.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 07/05/2014 19:03

Completely out of order!

I'm expecting dc2 and am worried the same thing will happen from over enthusiastic relatives. I'm going to have words beforehand as I would be furious.

It's no one else's news to announce.

Retropear · 07/05/2014 19:04

Happened to my cousin,her mum had to frantically ring round all the family.

Some people lose all sense of what is normal behaviour on a Facebook.

aermingers · 07/05/2014 19:06

YABU unless the mother has said she is upset. It's not really your place to get upset on her behalf unless she is actually upset.

ENormaSnob · 07/05/2014 19:08

Yanbu at all.

I have known birth announcements before the placenta was out Shock

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 07/05/2014 19:10

I might have messaged the announcer (if they're a mutual friend) saying "did Sarah and Dave ask you to announce the baby on fb? I was keeping it quiet as I thought they'd want to do it themselves".

Original poster
Babyspoileralert · 07/05/2014 19:10

aermingers my point is the mother may or may not be upset but there is nothing that she can do about the fact that someone else has announced the arrival of her child and announced it's name before she had a chance to.

Her husband sent the texts to us literally minutes after baby arrived and minutes after that it was on Facebook.

OP posts:
smearedinfood · 07/05/2014 19:10

My dbil did this. I didn't think it was bad they are just excited.

ImpatientOne · 07/05/2014 19:10

YANBU

It's extremely bad form and whilst I agree that FB users have some responsibility to ensure the levels of privacy on their own page it is extremely rude to announce personal details of anyone like that.

I have to admit to taking any simple message of 'congratulations' on FB as meaning someone is pregnant/had their baby Grin

Fizbo · 07/05/2014 19:12

Very inconsiderate, I turned of my Facebook wall at the start of the month I was due to make sure it didn't happen to me.

liquidstatehasrisenagain · 07/05/2014 19:13

Am dreading this happening in 9 weeks time. We are planning to tell immediate family only and telling them to stay off facebook until we do an announcement ourselves. I also will be telling family to not post pics of baby without our agreement.

Whether this will work I don't know. I do know DHs sisters are over excitable sometimes so am trying to reign them in.

JennyCalendar · 07/05/2014 19:14

YANBU at all.

The correct etiquette should always be no public FB congrats until after the parent has posted publicly first, or has asked them to do so on their behalf.

HappyMummyOfOne · 07/05/2014 19:15

Unless they asked people to not announce it, then the friend did nothing wrong. If they think so much re facebook they could have posted it first themselves.

Viviennemary · 07/05/2014 19:15

Honestly I can't see what the fuss is about. Having a baby isn't exactly a secret and a few friends already knew. What a lot of trouble and upset Facebook seems to cause.

Original poster
Babyspoileralert · 07/05/2014 19:18

happymummyofone how could she have posted it herself less than 30 minutes after an emergency caesarian? Hmm

OP posts:
Rainbunny · 07/05/2014 19:20

I can see why the parents might be annoyed.

I actually have a different perspective. I would prefer other people to do all the FB talking for me- I have no intention of making FB pregnancy announcements/pics of baby scans/new baby pics onto FB. For some reason, even though I am on FB I want to keep that info private. It's weird as I have no problem with my friend's baby announcements and pics etc... This is probably due to my current "status" - I'm TTC and I know some of my friends are waiting with bated breath for me to announce I'm pregnant on FB. It's a bit off-putting.