Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's out of order to announce the birth of someone else's baby on their Facebook page

85 replies

Babyspoileralert · 07/05/2014 18:55

NC as I've been ranting about this all day at work!

A very good friend of mine had a baby yesterday and she texted a few friends and family to announce this and tell us the name.

Another friend then went onto the Facebook Timeline of the new mum and basically said congratulations on the arrival of 'baby's name' before they'd had a chance to announce it publicly themselves.

I understand that some people hate Facebook full stop but isn't it out of order to publicly announce someone else's very special news like that?

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 07/05/2014 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution · 07/05/2014 19:20

Yanbu. Happened to two of my friends in te last few months. Before both had told all their families.

BakingEating · 07/05/2014 19:26

YANBU

My SiL did this to me and dh. Meanwhile we hadn't been able to tell my df or db because they were at my grandfather's bedside, he died a few hours later.

The point about facelift is that it's a giant international message board for your friends, however with news like the birth of your first baby there are people you'll want to tell first.

AlwaysOneMissing · 07/05/2014 19:26

My SIL did this to me and I was pretty furious too! She posted a congratulations then a couple of my friends posted questions asking if baby had arrived and was I ok - she replied to them saying the sex, name and weight of our baby! How did she think that was appropriate?!

I kept my annoyance to myself as I didn't want to seem petty but as you can tell, it still pisses me off to this day!

Albertatata · 07/05/2014 19:29

My SIL did this to me, announcing gender, name the whole lot. She was also pregnant at the time and when their baby arrived I did exactly the same to them - petty moi?

Anomaly · 07/05/2014 20:32

I think it's wrong because unless you know there may be reasons the parents don't want to go public.

I know someone who put up congratulations on facebook when they found out a relative was pregnant. What they didn't know was that the woman had a history of miscarriage and sadly that's what happened. The couple in question would never have announced it publicly until a lot later in the pregnancy.

PansOnFire · 07/05/2014 20:35

My cousin did this to me, I was devastated ridiculously hormonal and precious over pfb. Once i was over the worst of the hormones I realised that he was just excited for us but I was still upset. I'd asked the friends I'd sent pictures to etc not to post on facebook as I have a huge family who would be upset if I didn't contact them personally first. Cousin announced it about an hour after I gave birth - I'd phoned my mum, she phoned her sister and bingo, onto facebook it went. My DH is weird about facebook, he doesn't have an account and doesn't want his son plastered all over there either. My friends told me afterwards that they already knew about DS by the time I'd text them in the afternoon (DS was born at 6am) and were annoyed at my cousin for this.

It's rude, YADNBU.

redexpat · 07/05/2014 20:35

Yep I learned of one pregnancy and one birth because of one family member's FB status. 'Oooh I'm going to be an aunty again! Oooh I'm an aunty again!'

cerealqueen · 07/05/2014 20:36

YANBU. I'd be seething. To those of you worried it may happen to you, I think you can stop people writing in your timeline. Or just close your account until after the birth!

RPopz · 07/05/2014 20:38

Yanbu.

The only thing I hate more than this is people who take crappy camera phone pictures at weddings of the bride and or groom and upload them to FB before the wedding is even over..... Angry

DustyCropHopper · 07/05/2014 20:42

I had seen this done so many times on Facebook prior to me having dc3 that the night before I went in for my planned c section I posted a status asking everyone that receives the news through text/phone all not to post details about it until we had put it on as we had lots of family to tell, including mil who was in America at the time.

ToriaPumpkin · 07/05/2014 20:46

YANBU. Several people did that to us when DS was born and I was furious. This time we prefaced every text xwith a request not to put anything on Facebook. Not something I would have ever thought I'd need to do!

I wasn't quite as pissed off at the announcement of DSs birth as I was the person who announced I was pregnant again after we told him in private before we told the vast majority of people we know.

LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName · 07/05/2014 20:47

I've found that people like to show they were the first to know.

Original poster
Babyspoileralert · 07/05/2014 20:50

lovebeing that exactly it.

I'm not really friends with the person who posted this (we're in different groups of friends to our mutual friend) but I have met her and I'm pretty sure this was an 'I knew first' type post.

OP posts:
Stripyhoglets · 07/05/2014 20:54

I did this, was genuinely just really pleased baby was born and wanted to let my side of the family know who wouldn't have seen the parents Facebook. I just didn't notice they hadn't put it on themselves yet, took it down sharpish when asked to, but it honestly wasn't a deliberate thunder stealing moment. I am much more careful now. And backed off a bit tbh.

Stripyhoglets · 07/05/2014 20:56

I posted it on my timeline and didn't even tag the parents though. Now I send PMs if responding to good news.

MaidOfStars · 07/05/2014 21:01

Stripyhoglets Text? Instant messenger? Private chat? Smile

MaidOfStars · 07/05/2014 21:04

OP, YANBU. Having definitely been the first to know (apart from grandparents) on one occasion, I couldn't have dreamt of making the news public in any shape or form.

harriet247 · 07/05/2014 21:06

Sil did this to me. I was in no fit state at all though (emc) so it did let all my out circle know we were all okay so I didnt mind so much

expatinscotland · 07/05/2014 21:11

In the grand scheme of things, it's small potatoes. I mean, people are going to find out somehow.

ChasedByBees · 07/05/2014 21:20

A colleague did this to me. My DH had to write to work to say he wouldn't be in and he posted congratulations on my timeline. He didn't even know the outcome! I was not happy.

scarffiend · 07/05/2014 21:25

YANBU! when my good friend was expecting her ds2, she asked me to run her sister & BIL to the airport as she was too pregnant & had a midwife appt. They told me on the way that she was having a sore stomach during the night so we all expected her to be in early labour. Checked my phone later on & saw that the sister had tagged my friend in a status wishing her all the best for labour! Then the following day, tagged her again saying 'so excited to be an auntie again, I have another beautiful nephew, congrats to X'. She has never mentioned it to me but I have always been raging on her behalf! Don't think it's anyone else's place to announce it apart from the parents to be honest.

ruskonmyleggings · 07/05/2014 22:45

yanbu. When I went in to be induced I gave strict instructions to everyone not to put anything on fb until I had. I've seen it happen to other people and didn't think it was fair. The parents should absolutely have the honour of announcing it first.

Stripyhoglets · 07/05/2014 22:50

I felt like expat, and there was no FB when I gave birth, or mobile phones in hospitals for that matter! I know now and just click like! Much safer. It was a useful pointer that has stood me in good stead when dealing with other family related FB issues.

Stripyhoglets · 07/05/2014 22:52

Oh, and everybody in the family knew, we were fairly down the list of people being told, it was just the formal announcement bit. I just didn't know they hadn't already made it!

Swipe left for the next trending thread