to think nurseries are not a viable form of reliable childcare for a baby?

[Artichokes]

DS started nursery at 8 months and in the four months since then he has had two severe vomiting viruses, four fevers with cough/cold etc, one attack of tonsillitis, one outbreak of impetigo and an endless snot filled cold. He has been too ill to go in for 19 working days since January. Every time he is ill DH or I have to take time off because we have no local family.

Every mother I talk to says "oh that's normal for the first year of nursery". Seriously? Is it? If so how on earth is nursery regarded as a viable child are option? Is it not just a tool of the patriarchy to ensure women give up on the dream of work altogether????

the first 9 months of dd being at nursery she was very ill. Now at 4 she can shake a cold off in a day while I slowly die from it

19 days illness seems a lot but his immune system will be getting a goid workout. Either it does now or it will later.

I think you (and your child) are just unfortunate that he has been ill so frequently. That sounds way above average

My two didn't go to nursery until around 14 months (we used a childminder between 3 and 14 months, not because I didn't think nursery was viable for the reasons you give OP but simply it was our preferred option.) However I knew quite a few mums whose babies had been in nursery from a few months and none of them had the list of illnesses you describe. I'm sure a certain amount is normal... Children do get normal childhood illnesses and some are very prone to cold type things while teething. If your child wasnt getting it now then he'd probably catch things a bit later anyway.

But I would get him checked out because it does sound an awful lot of sickness

DOH have excellent guidelines on when children should be held off nursery/school etc, they are surpringly small. Oozing eyes is NOT one.....it's just eye snot. If everyone kept their kids off for every sniffle no one would ever go anywhere, it's a complete myth that it's selfish parents spreading infection Gahwww.gpnotebook.co.uk/simplepage.cfm?ID=302383177

Mmmm I ran a busy childminding business having 4 under 4 a day and some after schoolers.

Never had that level of sickness.

What's their policy on hand washing, cleanliness etc.

All if my plastic toys were anti backed every evening and all dressing up clothes/cuddly toys etc out in the washing machine weekly.

Strict cleaning of toilets and sinks am and pm every day and hand washing before meals and after toilet a must.

I think your nursery and other nurseries sound dirty to be honest.

This Level of sickness isn't just normal in my experience. ( qualified nurse too).

Mine started at 10m and were fine. DS2 has been in 3m with no health issues. The only two issues he has had were pre-nursery. DS1 was similar.

Some children just get more bogged down in cycles of illness than others.

That does seem like a lot. My DS was in nursery from 11 months, and I only had to take about 3 - 4 days off with him for his entire first year. That's in line with what I'd take for myself in a year usually!

His nursery had a very strict sickness policy though and wouldn't hesitate to call if a child is even a little ill, so maybe that helped.

You do sound pretty unlucky!

DS1 started nursery at 7 months and had a few illnesses but nothing severe (missed a few days) and then when he switched to a nursery school at 3 he ended up having 12 days off in 3 goes in the 1st term for d&v and and viruses.

YABU, there are others types of childcare. DS (5) started nursery at 11 months, DD (2) at 15 months, neither has has had anything like that much time off due to illness. I'd be questioning their general health with that much low-level illness.

FWIW, a couple of children I know of SAHM have been pretty ill in their first few years, as ill as the OP's. Maybe nursery has nothing to do with it.

A tool of the patriarchy?

Yes, childhood illnesses that have been around for years and a businesses designed to look after children to allow parents to work are all just a cunning ploy.

I had sympathy until you made such a ridiculous statement, even if it was tounge in cheek.

I think you've been unlucky or have one of those children that catches every bug going. My DS started at 11 months, he's now 4. We've had one D&V bug and chicken pox. That's it. How do you feel about the hygiene in your particular nursery? Is it clean? It might be worth having a word with the other parents and if you're all experiencing this then maybe the nursery needs to reiterate a strict hand washing and sharing cloths and towels policy.

I also think you've been lucky - some measure of illness is inevitable but that seems an unusually high level. OTH, my friend's baby also seemed to be constantly ill, and he never went near childcare - I guess some babies are just more prone to it.

As others have said though, your DS should be nicely immune to everything when he starts school, which is when the children that didn't go to childcare tend to start catching everything - personally I think it's easier to get it over with when they are little!

I had nannies when my DC were little. Like you, we have no family close by to help out with emergency childcare, so nursery or a childminder wouldn't have worked for us. A nanny is expensive when you have only one child, but if you intend to have more, you may find that it's cheaper to have one nanny rather than pay two or more lots of nursery fees.

My DC were not sick all the time, although they did go to lots of baby and toddler groups, and soft play, etc. so had plenty of opportunity to catch things. And when they did have the occasional illness, they were looked after by the nanny, so I didn't have to take time off work.

If the cost of a nanny is too much on your own, you could look at a nanny share.

impetigo is highly highly contagious and they should never have allowed a child with impetigo to come nursery until they was no longer contagious.

However the rest of your list sounds like normal winter illnesses to me. Don't forget he is only young his immune system hasn't had the time to build up like ours have.

Why does this only affect you? Surely your partner should be sharing the non-nursery days with you? It would be less a tool of patriarchy and more a general pain in the arse then.

It's viable. It's the only form of childcare many have access to and much more reliable than a childminder (who can call in sick, whose kids can get sick etc). I wouldn't say it's preferable to a nanny but that's not an option for most. They do get sick.

I had this with my DD. 6 months back to work before I had a full non-ill week. She was 10 months when she started nursery. The nursery was being inspected one day and I complained to the inspector about all the illnesses and she pointed out that I had been away from the busy work environment for a year and I could be picking up viruses and germs from work (where people are less likely to stay away when ill) and passing them on to DD, which I hadn't though of before. It is a horrible phase but she rarely has any illnesses at all now.

macdoodle eye snot? Excessive eye snot and oozing eyes' will more than likely be conjunctivitis. If you happen to rub your eye and then touch a computer mouse the very next person who touches that could potentially catch it if they touched around their own eyes afterwards. Hence why if you have it you need to use seperate soap and towels etc to everyone else at home.

My children were in nursery from when they were 7-8months and apart from the odd cough and cold, were rarely sick.

The problem with nannies or childminders is that you have to take days off work when they are sick , as well as when your child is sick. It's a double whammie.

Why is it only your career that might suffer ?

I have to say I don't like nurseries but only because the ratios aren't enough IMO. And they don't pay people enough to work in them and there are so many horror stories.

My dc got very ill in the first year I went back to work but they weren't at nursery. I reckon it was a combination of age and stress from the change plus I picked up a lot from being back at work - germs from the tube, train and office! So a sniffle for me would be quite horrid for them.

The problem with nannies or childminders is that you have to take days off work when they are sick , as well as when your child is sick. It's a double whammie

But a nanny or cm is less likely to be as sick as a child and if you have a nanny, they will look after your sick child. So you don't have to use up leave to look after them quite as much.

DD went to nursery at 6 months. Regularly for about four months, she would do the five days at the nursery, then come down with a cold and low grade fever on Friday so my entire weekend was filled with snot, calpol and misery. Four months! After that, touchwood, she became immune to everything going, and at four hasn't had even a cough in ages. Different children have different immunities, but for most kids the first six months or so in a group environment leads to bugs, you are either doing this at eight months, or when he starts school. Nought to do with patriarchy

Tbf OP does say "Every time he is ill DH or I have to take time off because we have no local family. "

Yup, but then she bemoans that it is women's careers that suffer