To not want collecting from the Crem (after Ive died)?

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

In a chat with a friend about death, burial, cremation etc, I feel strongly that I dont want to be put anywhere. Somewhere my familyand friends might feel obligated to visit or not move far from.

Being an Atheist, I feel, for me that when I die, and my life ceases to exist, that my body is simply the shell that once held my life. That it wont be me.

If I had it my way can I simply be cremated and the ashes not collected? I currently have nowhere that is so special to me that I want my ashes scattered, and again, it would just be the remnants of my outer casing, plus prpbably a large portion of coffin.

She thinks I am.abnormal, and I suppose it isnt a commom view, I just dont want anyone to have any sort of obligation to me once im gone.

My dad has put that his body be donated to medical science so no funeral no nothing, I've said just cremate me and chuck my ashes out car window whilst driving.

Sentimental lot we are

The children scattered their dad at a racecourse, buried some and the rest his widow had put in a necklace.

I told my husband that if I die before him I want my ashes kept on the windowsill

I don't really care what happens to mine, whatever helps people who will grieve for me. I just have two wishes, do not bury me and no mention of God at my funeral.

My children take great comfort from some of his ashes being buried. They have a physical place to go talk to him which is what they need right now.

They just brought back loads of his clothes from his house yesterday. I admit that when I went into their room this morning I felt really strange about seeing them on display. Bless them, they have hung all his football shirts around the room and they still smell of him :(

Meh, get yourself mixed up to be used as shake and vac.

ivy

My daughters ashes are in a nice urn too MrsDeVere :) pink and silver in a pink velvet box. It's in her memory box right now though as our home isn't ornament safe. I will keep her with me forever this way.

She also has a cherry blossom tree in the back garden which flowers for her birthday/anniversary each year. It's in a huge pot right now but we will have to consider planting it soon.

I also one day will do something in her memory for the hospital who delivered her.

I think that is lovely goblin :)

crystal I'm sorry for your loss I hope your birthday passes gently for you

I remember picking my granddad up from a funeral and him asking what I was doing 'mum sent me to pick you up' to which he retorted: tell her to stop wasting your time, at my age it isn't worth carting me back.

I will bequeath my ashes to any family member who wishes to keep me in the car and then put me down when the wheels are slipping in icy conditions.

I thought it was lovely too slithy, they loved him and he was still part of their family, albeit in a different form. They talked about him and to him with fondness, not sadness or in a creepy fashion.

You better save up for that now NoArmani Being turned into diamond don't come cheap!

only a couple of grand coffins are more than that

I once heard that a heavy coffin and a huge stone monument indicates that the family want to make sure there's no way you can get out.

My sister's ashes are going up in a firework. She has specified that we should all be completely blotto except for the person on lighting duty, who should then make up for lost time.

There's the spirit tree (link) which is a bit nicer and less 'functional looking' than bio tree - I quite fancy that; or just scattered in a crematorium garden of remembrance, I've always thought they are so peaceful and pretty.

Definitely agree with those saying that funerals and deciding what to do with loved ones ashes is really for the relatives to do whatever brings comfort to them.

When my twin sister died last year she was cremated. I felt uneasy about keeping the ashes but when I collected them from the funeral director I felt surprisingly protective. I can't bear the thought of being parted from them and I'm glad I kept them rather than having them scattered at the crem. Although my twin only ever expressed a preference for cremation, she never stated her wish for anything else so maybe that felt easier for me to do what I felt I needed to do?

Those who wish to for their bodies to be donated to science: you do need to register your intentions in advance with your local medical school Donating your body

Depending on the time of year (end of academic year) and if they have a flurry of donations, they may not take your body so have a Plan B in mind..

to everyone who has lost loved ones

I'm glad you linked that tree thing I had images of people squashed up in a barrel with a tree growing roots through them.

Cremation first makes that a lot less disturbing.

I was going to say what RustyParker said but didn't read her post until the end. My DH and I wanted to donate our bodies to research or medical training. They wouldn't take my DH's body or organs so I offered his skin / bone. They still didn't want to know...... He sits in a pot on the sideboard now.

My elderly neighbour who is dying of cancer has already planned her funeral; she wants a Woodland burial service where she'll have a wicker coffin with a tree planted on top of the burial plot.

My Grandad is remembered in the Crem's Book of Remembrance. You visit once a year when the book is opened on their page, and can have a memorial written in the book with a picture. My Grandad has a picture of forget-me-nots.

But I wish he had a grave / place where his ashes are buried. My nan didn't want it so there isn't even a plaque. Mum was very upset by that. The crem staff scattered his ashes over the Rose Gardens.

Incidentally, most of the cremation ashes are body not coffin, as the wood ash becomes co2 while the bone ash stays.

My dad died a week ago today - so all very raw and upsetting, but we have arranged his cremation and its going to cost over £4,500! No big ceremony only two cars following the hearse, we already are buying the flowers from Tesco to try and save money, cheapest flowers from undertakers where £48!! Trying to find a venue for after the ceremony is going to add another £300 -£400.

Please people let your loved ones know what you want in terms of funeral - dad going was hard enough without having to make all these decisions. I'm going to be saving and planning mine!!

Oh and the cardboard box option was double the price of the cheapest coffin!!

What happens to you after death isn't for you, it's for the people still living. You're gone. Why does it even matter?

I'd rather people do whatever they need to so they can say their good byes and get over it quicker. If that means a ground burial, fine (waste of money imho), if they want to scatter my ashes, that's fine too. I leave it to them.

I just told my husband to give me a viking funeral. Put my body on a float and light me on fire at sea.

My grandma has a bunch of little sugar bowls. She wants to be cremated, and put into each one of those little sugar bowls and divided up so each of us have some of her ashes. Then we can take the spoon of ashes out and say hi to her each morning. Sometimes I wonder if she's actually joking or not, lol.

I'm donating my body to science (medical school). I won't need it, I won't need someone to pay for a funeral, and the medical school have a ceremony of thanks so it's kind of like a memorial. I can enrich education, even after death. Bonus.