To not want collecting from the Crem (after Ive died)?

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

In a chat with a friend about death, burial, cremation etc, I feel strongly that I dont want to be put anywhere. Somewhere my familyand friends might feel obligated to visit or not move far from.

Being an Atheist, I feel, for me that when I die, and my life ceases to exist, that my body is simply the shell that once held my life. That it wont be me.

If I had it my way can I simply be cremated and the ashes not collected? I currently have nowhere that is so special to me that I want my ashes scattered, and again, it would just be the remnants of my outer casing, plus prpbably a large portion of coffin.

She thinks I am.abnormal, and I suppose it isnt a commom view, I just dont want anyone to have any sort of obligation to me once im gone.

If you are cremated then like the OP said, some of the ashes are the coffin. I wonder if you can be cremated without being a coffin?

I don't even want a funeral, the expense seems ridiculous. Once I'm dead i won't give a rats arse what gets done with my remains but if they spend more than the absolute minimum I'm coming back to haunt them.

My sisters ashes are still at my dad's house. I'm planning on laying them to rest before the end of the year. It's going to cost around £600. I'm looking forward to having somewhere to visit her as we lost her so suddenly at 22.
But like others have said it's each to your own x

Hmm - well if nothing is done with your ashes then they will stay at the undertakers until, perhaps - I'm not completely sure how it works - the undertaker arranges for the ashes to be scattered in the local cemetery after many, many years and attempts to contact the family. So, even if you don't want your ashes to go anywhere, they will end up somewhere IYSWIM so you may as well have them scattered in a place you liked or just request that after cremation they are scattered in the garden of remembrance.

On a related note, people really should plan for their funerals as they are bloody expensive and can be a real financial burden to the family.

Maybe a loved one could just keep them? I have my daughters in the wardrobe in her memory box. Don't want to scatter them as don't want to not be able to visit the place.

Or could have your ashes made into jewellery?

Having recently lost my Fil my dh has decided he wants tp avoid the whole funeral thing and has said he will donate his body to medical science. Apparently after they are done with you they dispose of you and hold an annual (or certain time frsme) memorial service for all the people that donated themselves.

Gardens of remembrance sorry.

It's up to you. There is a lot of ignorance around cremation & procedures though! Each cremation takes place completely separate, the 'oven' is cleaned & there are no ashes left behind, mixed in etc.

The ashes you receive are only of your loved one.

If the staff scatter them, they keep a note of where. At our local crems, nothing leaves the premises from the gardens, even the grass clippings are composted.

Please be assured that dignity & respect are extremely important.

Ugh - I know it's just the vessel and all that, but I'm not sure I could do that Doris, although I admire those who do. Too many stories from medical students I think. Or you could donate your body to the guy who preserves them and puts them in exhibitions. Can't remember his name.

All my elderly relatives are in the gardern a of Sheffield Crem. I've never been there except for 5 funerals. My memories of my GPs and great belong to other places, things and just in my head.

DH's parents ashes are scattered on their respective favourite bits of the Cornish coast. I have been back and it's impossible to be sad because it's just too beautiful a place to be sad.

(Also I'm sure they are mixed with loads of other people's ashes).

I know, even DDad won't be alone on his wild welsh hilltop. We found a funeral wreath up there once and I'm guessing it was some one else's view too.

Great aunts.

Dr van hagan Daz or something lol I went to his display in Manchester. Last I heard was he was dying?!

Gunther Von Hagen or something like that?
I don't visit graves and don't want to be visited either, but my intention is to be buried in a woodland, would much rather be tree fertilizer than anything else. And i think it's a great thing to make your wishes known, saves all the hassle for the family afterwards with the inevitable arguments over what you would have wanted.

I thought about doing that myself,Doris,donating my body but I think I'd prefer to have my organs donated,if possible. I know that it isn't always possible.but at least there might be a chance.

Not that there's anything wrong with either option.

If you believe once you've gone you've gone, then it really won't matter to you what happens to your remains. As long as it brings your family comfort, surely it makes no odds to you. I don't give a monkeys what they do with me, they can choose whatever is best for them. It's like funerals, its really for the ones left behind, for all the dead one knows, he could be chucked in a skip

I might just get stuffed and used to scare off burglars....

We did have a case in the family of a great uncle passing away. Most of his close family (sons and siblings) were in America and wanted the ashes. They asked my mum to collect the ashes and look after them until they could arrange to come over all together and sprinkle them at his favourite spot (in the uk).

That was six years ago. Mum still has the ashes, and doesn't know what to do with them...they're in the spare guest bedroom. She wasn't particularly close to her uncle but doesn't want to put them in a cupboard or anything. I keep telling her just to post them over to them, but she worries that it's illegal.

My best friend died when we were 17. I went to her grave on special occasions for 10 years. I had to stop in the end, for me. It was too painful. I went last year after a 7 year break. It was so sad to visit again.

I agree with you OP, but equally I see the the comfort in it for those left behind. So I don't know what's for the best. I guess if you've gone and it's not you in that she'll, it doesn't matter what happens.

I'm going to leave it to my family to decide.

My dad wants to be donated to medicine.
I'm hoping he's done the ground work for this and I'm not stuck phoning loads of universities touting a dead body.

'Hi, its grumble here.. Would you like a corpse?'

Rabbitpies, I love the idea of being buried in a garden of rembrandts

Op, it's not really about you though. You will be dead and not care any longer.
It's about how those left behind choose to deal with the loss, and what helps them get through it. If you have those that love you, you should want to support them as best you can.
I'm going to be scattered on the South Downs, it's a happy place for all of us and I can see DS and DD finding it a good way of coping.

i could not agree more. my df did not leave any wishes. he was cremated. my siblings insisted that he would want ashes scattered at a specific place miles away. i arranged the funeral and found that traumatic enough. 18 months later my dbro arrived from abroad and decided that as he was now here, ashes should be scattered. i did not go. i have no regrets. it just prolonged the agony for me. i have an absolute wish to go out with the rubbish, or whatever the council do at the time. i find the whole ashes thing just weird. both my gps who died subsequent to df were not collected

I want putting in a bio urn and planted to turn into a tree.

I quite like the idea of turning into a tree

Yes funerals and burial arrangements are for the living, but if anyone mentions God at mine, I will be back to haunt them!