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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why 'have a spa day' is touted as the solution to so many problems on here?

98 replies

teaandthorazine · 03/05/2014 09:07

Husband run off with his secretary, leaving you with three kids under 6 and no job? Have a spa day. Maybe get your hair cut too.

Thinking of running off with your secretary? Take some time out to think about it, have a spa day.

Boiler broken and flooded the kitchen? Awwwww, have a spa day. Not in your kitchen though.

Lost your job, got kids to support? Get yourself a massage, sweetie. Preferably in a spa.

Boyfriend stumbled in a 4am and pissed in the wardrobe? Selfish bastard, you show him who's boss. By having a spa day.

This advice appears over and over again on MN. It irritates the fuck out of me for some reason.

Has anyone ever, genuinely, found having a spa day helped them with their life issues in anyway whatsoever?

OP posts:
SoFishy · 03/05/2014 11:49

I've never seen it in the 8+ years I've been on MN! Must be looking at the wrong threads.

However I do know people in RL who think all ills are cured by a spa day. Friend thinks I'm mad when I spend my precious afternoon off going to the garden centre or reading grazia in a cafe by myself. That is what is relaxing for me but because it didn't cost £150 and involve being pummelled by minions, it's not a proper treat apparently.

I have had a spa day once, it was nice, especially the posh swimming pools, but I don't feel the need to go again soon. I kind of need more mental distraction to be able to properly relax.

ssd · 03/05/2014 11:52

I thought the answer to everything on mumsnet was get a cleaner?

hasn't everyone here got spare cash for a cleaner, it seems sometimes that all of us must have one...

what about those of us who are the cleaners...Hmm

MrsJoeGargery · 03/05/2014 12:02

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noblegiraffe · 03/05/2014 12:04

I've seen this too. DH has left me with the new baby for a stag weekend, what should I do etc.

It's not the spa day that bothers me, but that quite a lot of the time it's ' take his credit card and book yourself a spa day'

Did the DH use her credit card to book his stag weekend? Can she not afford her own spa day? It's all very little woman at home relying on the man for money. No joint finances?

MrsJoeGargery · 03/05/2014 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crinkle77 · 03/05/2014 12:23

I couldn't think of anything more boring than a spa day

Kundry · 03/05/2014 12:35

Can't believe people haven't seen it suggested - it's on every other thread.

I'm just depressed that 'a spa day' is seen as the height of excitement for all woman kind. It's so fucking banal.

AndyWarholsBanana · 03/05/2014 13:48

I've never seen it suggested on here as an answer to a serious problem although I have seen it a lot in the problem pages of women's magazines.
The same magazines tend to suggest that any relationship problem can be fixed by buying some sexy underwear and cooking hubby a candlelit dinner, I seriously saw this suggested on a problem page where the H never wanted sex with his wife as he spent all his time wanking to hardcore porn Hmm

BakeOLiteGirl · 03/05/2014 16:27

I was only thinking this exact same thing this morning

CorusKate · 03/05/2014 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gotthemoononastick · 03/05/2014 18:42

I would rather pull my eye out and feed it to a bulldog than go to this.Hate to be touched and pummeled.

Imagine all the lovely horse manure and plants for the garden that that money could buy!

TheNewSchmoo · 03/05/2014 18:47

Each to their own but I can think of nothing worse than a spa day. I had one and hated every minute of it.

Maybe I'm odd but I didn't enjoy the massage at all (in all honesty I spent the whole time clenching my buttocks as for some reason it made me want to fart) and then had to eat my lunch in a bathrobe. I thought it was over-rated, pretentious crap, but then I am more of a footie, few jars, curry sorry of girl!

LoveSardines · 03/05/2014 19:09

I've never been on a spa day but would like to.

I imagine it is code / an excuse to go off by yourself / with a female friend away from home kids partner housework work and just do whatever you like for a day or 2.

The idea of having a place where I can swim and read and eat and there's no-one yammering in my ear is lovely. I suppose the hairdresser idea is actually about peace and quiet and being by yourself as well.

I haven't seen anyone on this board suggesting that serious life problems can be solved with either of those things, in fact I haven't seen the suggested much at all! More like the sort of thing that is suggested in women's mags I think?!

Caitlin17 · 03/05/2014 19:19

I've not seen it mentioned on here but is a women's magazine cure-all. I'd hate it. The words "pamper yourself " also really irritate me.

LoveSardines · 03/05/2014 19:24

Oooh pamper yourself yes drives me mad.

Pretending that the various grooming rituals that women and girls are persuaded to adhere to by advertisers the media etc are fun!!!! rather than time consuming repetitive expensive uncomfortable etc etc

everlong · 03/05/2014 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrspremise · 03/05/2014 19:28

ooh, and how much 'me-time' do we wimmin get? stab, stab

candycoatedwaterdrops · 03/05/2014 19:31

I see the "have a spa day" comments as just a way of saying "take the whole day to shut off and do something for YOU". Having spent many years shuddering at the thought, I recently had a great spa day with a friend; massage, jacuzzi, stroll in beautiful hotel grounds, afternoon tea - lovely!

SpeedwellBlue · 03/05/2014 19:56

Bet the OP gets tons of spa day adverts aimed at her now as she has typed "spa day" so many times in her opening post!

nooka · 03/05/2014 20:06

I have been to a spa once or twice and quite enjoy Turkish baths too (although I really am not very keen on the wanky types of places that cost an arm and a leg and where you probably have to be very perfect to even walk through the door).

However I did find it a bit annoying when my relationship went completely down the pan and my work friends (who were very supportive and lovely) suggested pampering myself. It is true that they quickly did correct themselves as soon as they remembered that I'm a no make up hate shopping sort of person!

I think that there is such a strong stereotype that women giving half the chance want to be prettied up or buy umpteen shoes that it's a default assumption that 'indulging' will make them feel happier.

coffeeinbed · 03/05/2014 20:14

Oh yes OP.
Oh fucking yes.

We have mould and damp and the ceiling is falling down and the council won't fix it and I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my DDs have asthma.

Why, book yourself in a spa.

True thread.

JonesRipley · 03/05/2014 21:02

spas day is just shorthand for time on your own relaxing

I haven't seen it used in all the situations you list, although I assume you are exaggerating for comic effect

JonesRipley · 03/05/2014 21:03

spa day (typo)

Shlurpbop · 03/05/2014 21:06

Ha! My mum's answer to all major problems in life is 'have a spa day'
Great idea for a few hours of relaxation...just a shame all the shit is still waiting for you when the spa day is over!

PrincessBabyCat · 03/05/2014 21:10

I'd rather sulk think in a spa, than at home alone. :)