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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why 'have a spa day' is touted as the solution to so many problems on here?

98 replies

teaandthorazine · 03/05/2014 09:07

Husband run off with his secretary, leaving you with three kids under 6 and no job? Have a spa day. Maybe get your hair cut too.

Thinking of running off with your secretary? Take some time out to think about it, have a spa day.

Boiler broken and flooded the kitchen? Awwwww, have a spa day. Not in your kitchen though.

Lost your job, got kids to support? Get yourself a massage, sweetie. Preferably in a spa.

Boyfriend stumbled in a 4am and pissed in the wardrobe? Selfish bastard, you show him who's boss. By having a spa day.

This advice appears over and over again on MN. It irritates the fuck out of me for some reason.

Has anyone ever, genuinely, found having a spa day helped them with their life issues in anyway whatsoever?

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 03/05/2014 09:24

*some

Original poster

teaandthorazine · 03/05/2014 09:24

There's a thread running atm (sorry, I know TAATs are bad form) where the OP is experiencing some fairly big issues and it's just been suggested she goes to a spa to think about things. I'm sure spraffing £100 on a foot massage and the chance to wear a towel on her head all day will sort her right out.

OP posts:

meditrina · 03/05/2014 09:28

So the advice is to think and the spa is a venue where it might happen uninterrupted and away from everyday life?

Surely it wasn't claiming healing powers of a scented bath etc?

(Not seen the thread, and not aware until OP's last that this was a TAAT).

Original poster

teaandthorazine · 03/05/2014 09:28

This is so very unlike the MN I read, I wonder if the OP has ever looked at Relationships threads (or just hangs out in AIBU, where people have been posting all sorts of stuff especially in the last couple of weeks).

Snore. Been here for a decade. Before AIBU even existed, ackshewerley.

OP posts:

FiscalCliffRocksThisTown · 03/05/2014 09:31

Show me one thread where this was actually suggested?

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 03/05/2014 09:32

It puzzles me that spa vouchers always pops up in the first few posts when anyone is looking for ideas for a gift for a female friend or relative it seems to be regarded as one of the safest bets there is. Which is fine if you know they would like it, I would absolutely hate it. Hardly anyone I know does it (and my circle of friends is largely affluent middle class SAHM / work part-time / could very easily afford it type women).

Forgettable · 03/05/2014 09:34

Yes I saw a spa day suggested yesterday or maybe Thursday as a way of revenging on an errant husband.

meditrina · 03/05/2014 09:36

Probably bad form to link the threads, but could T&T, forgettable, or anyone else who remembers them, PM a link or some searchable details?

Forgettable · 03/05/2014 09:39

Um yes, AS spa, date yesterday

PastaandCheese · 03/05/2014 09:40

I've not noticed this but in all the examples you have listed YANBU.

That said the spa day I had at 38 weeks pregnant with DC2 solved all my problems. The problems were merely boredom, slightly swollen ankles and feeling uncomfortable. A day in a dressing gown with good friends helped no end.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 03/05/2014 09:42

I've seen spa days suggested several times when some DH's aren't pulling their weight. Book yourself a spa day and leave him with the kids.

meditrina · 03/05/2014 09:48

Yup, got one (I was trying on just 'spa' from Wednesday onwards as someone said Thurs, but was worried about number of hits hence asking for terms to narrow it a bit. But it proved not that common at all)

The advice on the one I found was to go away and think - and it was for someone who was having cold feet about a major life decision.

I can't find one where revenge is an issue. Are all the best forms of revenge plotted in a spa? Or is one meant to lose vengeful urges whilst in one? And if so, is it achieved simply by attending a venue, or are particular activities required?

Original poster

teaandthorazine · 03/05/2014 09:51

I was just going to say, threads I'm on will do it, meditrina

My OP is, obviously, somewhat lighthearted. It is Saturday morning and I've just had a fragrant bath, after all...

OP posts:

Original poster

teaandthorazine · 03/05/2014 09:53

I think it's the wearing of a towel on one's head all day that does it. Maybe rubbing mud on yourself in a darkened room helps too.

OP posts:

Original poster

teaandthorazine · 03/05/2014 09:57

To be fair though, I do all my best thinking surrounded by strangers in paper knickers.

OP posts:

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 03/05/2014 09:58

So are spas full of mn'ers brooding over their terrible lives?

CrystalSkulls · 03/05/2014 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VodkaJelly · 03/05/2014 11:24

I have seen it suggested many times in answer to a problem. I would hate a spa day and to be fair cant really afford one.

Titsalinabumsquash · 03/05/2014 11:30

I'd rather stick red hot pokers up my arse than have a "girly spa day"

I've seen it bandied about in response to "my husband spends 5 out of 7 evenings socialising in the pub while I'm left at home" or "my partner is going on a week long stag do and leaving me with all the kids"

It's nothing I care enough about to be enraged over though.

SpeedwellBlue · 03/05/2014 11:38

I've never had a spa day, so I don't know whether it would have helped me decide whether to run off with the secretary or whatever it was.

Mrsjayy · 03/05/2014 11:43

op you need to chill out lovey you are quite worked up have you considered a .....

I dont get the spa thing but really people are just offering some words of comfort and suggesting the poster takes time out for herself,

squoosh · 03/05/2014 11:44

Well I bloody love a spa day, alone or with a close friend, never in a group. Although I know it's compulsory on MN to say that spas are one's idea of hell.

Mrsjayy · 03/05/2014 11:45

the spa day is just the new alternative to have a bath with some candles dear

kennyp · 03/05/2014 11:46

i'd much rather dh took the children out for the day and left me at home alone. if i go out for the day i get back and fuck all's been done (it's a long rant) so i'd sooner relax at home knowing the only mess will be created by me and it'll take me 20 seconds to clear it up, rather than swim around in other people's piss all day (i.e. spa day).

to be honest, having a massive crap when the house is empty with a fag and a good book constitutes a spa day for me. easily amused, low maintenance old moi not

ApocalypseNowt · 03/05/2014 11:48

I had a spa day when i was heavily pg, in pain and suffering anxiety about a nasty individual who was going out of their way to cause me upset. Did it solve all my problems?

Well no but it did give me chance to chill out, relax, clear my head, make my back feel better, pep me up and make me feel much more able to carry on and deal with it all.

It's not the only solution but if you like that kind of thing (which i do) then it can definitely be part of the solution.

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