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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sad and appalled that a healthy diet is now beyond the reach of many.

489 replies

Darkesteyes · 01/05/2014 21:51

Absolutely appalling. And it will have an effect on the NHS. Poorer people are bashed for being poor.. and bashed for being overweight. Why do I have a feeling its only going to get worse. Sad Angry

www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-27225323

OP posts:
AShadowStirsWithin · 04/05/2014 11:47

I've come back to this thread because I've been re reading this morning and some views on here have actually got to me. Yesterday my mum stuck a tenner in my account and told me to get some ingredients for a treat day on Sunday (today). DD has been referred to a SALT and also via GP because she's displaying signs of being on the spectrum. I've felt for a while that she was a bit different to a lot of other kids her age and I'm glad that we are now going to get some support (hopefully). Mum wanted us to celebrate, so I did a mini shop and bought ingredients for a banoffee pie, spring rolls, nice branded special fried rice with whole prawns in and some bits for a sweet and sour chicken dish.

I feel deflated and almost guilty today having re read some of the posts on here. I feel like I'm being extravagant, like I should be saving that tenner to put towards something more important. I actually wish I could take it back to the shop, it's been soured. I've had to fight to get to where we are now, I try and fight ignorant views and peoples judgements, and now I seem to be fighting myself. I am in no doubt that certain people on this thread posted purely for the glee of getting a rise out of people. Well you succeeded there. Does it make you feel better about yourself to know that someone is feeling lower today because of your words?

I really think views on this subject and surrounding poverty in general need to be challenged, unfortunately it's often us at the bottom that have to do the challenging because often no one is willing to do it for us. I will feel better tomorrow and it will be forgotten but there are people reading this who will be put off from seeking support when they need it, from asking for help when they need it. It's bad enough when judgement hits on here, yet MN is anonymous. In RL it's far more common because appearance plays a factor and because you can't walk away from it. I really hope that those of us who have challenged and who have shared have made some of you step back and think, even for a few minutes.

TequilaMockingbirdy · 04/05/2014 11:50

ashadows don't think like that at all. You were given that money as a treat, so buying bloody lentils and beans wouldn't have been right would it? I really hope you enjoy your treat meal, you deserve it

Aspiringhuman · 04/05/2014 12:38

ashadows I completely understand how you feel as you do. We're no longer rock bottom (it just takes time but can seem like forever when you're living it). I still feel guilty when I spend money on non food items even if that's cheap shampoo or soap for hygiene reasons. All because of comments like I've read on this thread. Remember no matter what they say they really have no clue about your life. Thinking of you.

expatinscotland · 04/05/2014 12:55

Don't pay them mind, AShadows, some cunts use the net to hide.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/05/2014 13:03

AShadowStirsWithin... You mum didn't want you to spend it on lentils, she wanted your and your daughter to have a treat. You've done what she asked and what she gave you the money for. Please don't feel bad about that.

Yes, there are some very small-minded people on this thread but there are also some who are not. Give credence to those in support and ignore the rest... that's what your mum would say too, wouldn't she?

Nobody knows what it's like until they've been there. FACT.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 04/05/2014 13:20

Shadows,if your mum wanted to buy you lentils she would have said you should buy them,she wanted you to have a treat.

Fwiw the whole pressure of appearance thing is not just a load of nonsense,it's a very real thing based on fear. How many of you have gone on threads about hand me downs and made negative comments or raised your eyebrows if a low income family dresses in faded shabby clothing that's the sort of thing you can only get away with if you don't live in social housing or have any financial assistance,same as driving a beaten up rust bucket.

And constantly feeding your kids stuff they won't eat when you have nothing else to offer them can cause issues.

Unfortunately if you are poor there are many things that can cause referrals to be made that would not happen if you were not poor things like under 10 year olds being left home alone whilst you go to the shops, obviously second hand clothing,pale and skinny children who practically inhale the nasty pizza and slop that appears on school menus.

Darkesteyes · 04/05/2014 17:06

Ashadow you enjoy your purchases. You and yours MORE than deserve it Thanks

a. The fear thing is very real Even back in the 80s when I was at school I knew 2 girls who were bullied very badly because they wore second hand clothes because they were poor.
b. not caring or complete ignorance unless you have been through it yourself seems to be ingrained in human nature unfortunately.
Lets take workfare as an example. I was on this a couple of times in the 90s and 00s Struggling to eat after paying fares which I mentioned upthread.
Now the concensus back then was "tough get on with it" There is much the same attitude now but there is also a huge backlash which there wasn't back then. Now the optimistic side of me thinks this is probably due to the rise of social media.
But the cynic in me thinks part of this backlash is due to people of a higher economic group being forced into workfare (since the crash of 2008) as well as the expectancy for graduates to complete unpaid internships.
To summarise I suspect many ppl in a higher economic group didn't care until it started to affect them or their children (young adults)

What we are seeing on this thread is much the same thing. Many don't know or don't want to know until it affects them. It is simply the uglier side of human nature.

OP posts:
Darkesteyes · 04/05/2014 17:40
Shock

www.wsws.org/en/articles/2014/05/03/irel-m03.html

OP posts:
GarlicMaybeNot · 04/05/2014 19:12

More on that from the Irish Independent:

“We will be taking on a number of gardai directly into the Department of Social Welfare"

“We will also be looking at areas like checkpoints in estates and on roads early in the morning as people who otherwise are claiming benefits are actually in fact going off to work – either self employed or working and not declaring it.”

Right. So do we think the gardai will be fully up-to-speed on who's claiming top-up benefits and who has permitted work allowances? Or does it have untold potential for persecution of the poor?

Also, what happens when the police decide to stop & interrogate you, making you late for work, workfare, or your jobcentre appointment?

dementedma · 04/05/2014 19:38

Things can change so quickly. I have done poor, been there, done it. I,mean, really done it. Then things picked up,,had my own business. Went bust - six year debt repayment plan, surfing, existing, scraping by. Then, last year, finally on a decent wage, dh working,majority of debts paid. And I thought, wow. This is what its like to live, not exist. To have days out, a coffee with friends, buy new clothes ( still supermarket,but new), go to the cinema,have a takeaway. These were all like luxury living to me. This year, for the first time ever, I started saving money, saving! I have £400 saved! At the end of May I will be made redundant. Dh doesn't earn enough to cover the bills. I will be 50 and on the dole. There is a very real chance that I will need to use a food bank. I am just glad I have been donating to our local one for months. This is the reality. Dd1 only has a part time job and still lives at home, dd2 is at university and needs financial help. Ds is still at school.
We already shop at Aldi, buy meat, sacks of onio s and spuds at the local market, use the slow cooker, batch freeze, grow salad and herbs....don't know how else to cut back.

dementedma · 04/05/2014 19:39

ERM., surviving, not surfing!!

Aspiringhuman · 04/05/2014 19:44

FFS, obviously everyone on housing estates is fraudulently claiming benefits. Let's just treat everyone like criminals. It's like economic apartheid, what next? Razor wire and armed watchtowers around the poorer areas? What's the point of working towards improving things if you're just going to be treated like a criminal. We've managed to get off everything but tax credits but I still feel like a lesser being and incredibly guilty. This fills me with dread, looks like something IDS would want to copy. :(

Darkesteyes · 04/05/2014 22:32

Right. So do we think the gardai will be fully up-to-speed on who's claiming top-up benefits and who has permitted work allowances? Or does it have untold potential for persecution of the poor?

Also, what happens when the police decide to stop & interrogate you, making you late for work, workfare, or your jobcentre appointment?

A very fucking good point Garlic Angry

OP posts:
user1488202163 · 27/02/2017 13:42

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