WE KNOW WE'RE UNREASONABLE BUT...

[TequilaMockingbirdy]

what things really really annoy you, but for no reason? Like you know it's unreasonable but you still get annoyed.

DP switching the router off at the wall pisses me off no end.

you know chatting like I should add

People who say VAYgun instead of VEEgan.

Women who paint their nails on the sodding bus, thereby releasing a cloud of chemical fumes into the air at 8.30 in the morning. Yep, just what we need to get the day off to a pleasant start.

In fact, now I think about it, I have an irrational (although rational to me) dislike of anyone putting on any make-up on public transport. Just get up ten minutes earlier and do it in the privacy of your own home. I have no desire to see the slightly manky contents of your make-up bag and watch you contouring your face with bronzer first thing in the morning. And you'll have your eye out with that eyeliner if the bus driver has to brake suddenly [fumes].

People who park over my drive, i.e my neighbours and their family.
Men who need to wear hair gel or wax but don't, i.e Simon Cowell and his dry, square bouffant hair.
Drivers who take an age to take the corner when indicating left or right.
Pedestrians who just step out from nowhere when crossing a zebra crossing.
People taking the lift for one floor.
People who slap their jaw when eating.
People on work training courses/workshops/meetings, who love to ask a million questions - Shut the f up I would like to get out of this at some point today!
Starbucks, they take an age to make a coffee.

My DMIL knocking on our window and peering in and trying to catch my eye before coming to the door to knock on it. Why, DMIL? Just WHY? I need, actually NEED that extra few seconds before you come in the house to arrange my face into a nice welcoming expression (because you are nice, even though you knock on the window and peer in. You don't deserve to be greeted by an angry scowl because I'm having a bad day and didn't especially want to see you).

But no, you knock on the bastard window. And peer in. And catch my eye to make sure I've definitely seen you. And I have to force myself not to mouth "stop knocking on my fucking window". One day I will fail at this, and I know that day I will definitely be unreasonable, because you are, as I said, very nice. You deserve a nicer DIL than me, one who tolerates window banging with aplomb.

But you're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you banging on the window. FFS.

I wish I wasn't so insanely irritated by this.

People who use the original accent (often incorrectly) for international foods purely to show everyone they're sooo foody and middle class, because they say everything else normally.
Especially if these food names have been used in England for years so no one said them that way e.g. oregano, courgette, basil, champagne, bento etc'. No one says hot dog 'hawt daaawg' I've noticed because the rule only applies to posh foods.

Being of mixed heritage (and looking white) I've even been 'corrected' by people on how I say jeera, haldi etc' because they went on fucking gap year because like many British Asians/Anglo-Indians I say it with a broad estuary accent. P**s off. These are just foods to me, I can say them how I want.

...aaaand relax.

People who don't raise a hand or nod when you let them into a line of traffic and did not have to.

How on earth do you pronounce champagne and bento other than the 'normal' way? Shompaynya? Bento to rhyme with sent o(ff)?

People at the front of the queue at traffic lights who wait for the lights to go green before adjusting their mirror, indicating (if it's a filter lane), putting the car in gear and pulling off at two mph.

It's happened to me several times this week, by the time two or three cars have followed the ditherer through the lights are red again.

Most Some of these seem entirely reasonable to me.

I cannot STAND people eating food off other people's plates. It makes me want to gag sometimes.

I say unorganised
Partner switching the router off also pisses me off majorly. He does it before he comes upstairs to bed. Um I want to mumsnet in bed

People who have a posh phone voice and speak totally different to when in normal situations really annoys me

Baby on board signs.

When the nice house I've been ogling on rightmove sells, even though I have no intention of buying it.

People who say "choreethhhooo" because that's how they say it in Spain. But they never say "Espagne" which is how they say "Spain" in Spain.

I saw a 'Twins on Board' sign recently. So I got doubly annoyed.

People breathing on me.

House plants.

Ooh, squizita - you beat me to it.

Why is it Ibiza with a 'th' but chorizo with a 'z'? I've always wondered.

Whilst at the supermarket checkout this morning, I had the sheer arrogant affrontary to ask the man in front of me to please excuse me so I could reach the half empty conveyor belt he was standing in front of, having already unloaded his basket full of shopping. Well, he looked cross at my asking so I assume that I was in the wrong. To want to unload my shopping on the HALF EMPTY FUCKING CONVEYOR BELT that he was standing right in front of, oblivious to the world.

People who walk along in public with one or both hands down their trousers
I want to trip them up so they'll land face first.

morris

Heart attack (posh name = myocardial infarction) = some of the heart muscle dying due to the blood supply being cut off, usually due to a clot in the artery that supplies the muscle. Sometimes this is fatal, often it is not - depends on the amount and position of the heart muscle affected.

Cardiac arrest is the heart stopping for any reason = happens to everyone at death. Saying that someone has died of a cardiac arrest is like saying that they have died of death.

And while we're on the subject of medical terminology, I am infuriated and depressed by people not knowing the difference between vagina and vulva. Are women's bits so unimportant/embarrassing that we can't be arsed to know which bit is which?

Shetlandstock if you mean Baby on Board signs on cars I agree. But the badge which TfL gives pg women to wear on the tube and the bus has some effect in getting them a seat and is a Good Thing.

"Why is it Ibiza with a 'th' but chorizo with a 'z'? I've always wondered."

I have no idea :D

Our Strange Lingo
When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose
And think of goose and yet with choose
Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll or home and some.
Since pay is rhymed with say
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood, food and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum up all, it seems to me
Sound and letters don't agree.

Lord Cromer, 1902

People who let their dogs piss up my red brick old wall, Dirty disgusting sods who don't care that when the sun hits the piss and warms it up, my whole garden stinks of it.

lacktoast

People who bleat on about the difference between a heart attack and a cardiac arrest. If we didn't understand the difference before this thread, we sure do now. Yawn.

People who chat incessantly at the checkout of the supermarket when I just want to pay and go. I want to run them down with my trolley and shout COME ON!